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Shh, shh. Let me see.
（ there's a coaxing pet to sasuke's thighs, and after a moment's reluctant resistance the boy does as he's asked. his thighs are marked and bruised, presses from his fingers or from ropework or from the cane — and cy kisses at the ones within easy reach as he works upwards towards the boy's pelvis. once he's there: ）
Put your hand in my hair. You can pull if it hurts.
（ he nuzzles against the soft skin of sasuke's inner thigh, stubble scraping against him, and then — gently, deftly — he undoes this piercing as well, pulling the thin metal from beneath the nerve as easy as breathing. ）
I almost tapped out of the scene just looking at your pretty cunt, the way you looked wearing my piercings. I wanted to put my mouth on you so badly.
（ a soft kiss is pressed against the sparse triangle of hair, dampened with arousal and with faint droplets of water that ricochet from cy's broad shoulders. he pets his thumbs along the folds of sasuke's pussy, pausing to push a tacky line of come into his cunt, as if one element of the scene, at least, has carried over here. another kiss is pressed against the trapped fold of his labia, first the left and then the right. given that they haven't done much with him in this female form, it's the first time he's really been afforded the luxury of taking something slow. ）
May I? Not to get you off, （ he knows sasuke would try for him, but it's not necessary for him to enjoy the act, which he elaborates on: ） just to taste you. Just to touch you.
（ there's a coaxing pet to sasuke's thighs, and after a moment's reluctant resistance the boy does as he's asked. his thighs are marked and bruised, presses from his fingers or from ropework or from the cane — and cy kisses at the ones within easy reach as he works upwards towards the boy's pelvis. once he's there: ）
Put your hand in my hair. You can pull if it hurts.
（ he nuzzles against the soft skin of sasuke's inner thigh, stubble scraping against him, and then — gently, deftly — he undoes this piercing as well, pulling the thin metal from beneath the nerve as easy as breathing. ）
I almost tapped out of the scene just looking at your pretty cunt, the way you looked wearing my piercings. I wanted to put my mouth on you so badly.
（ a soft kiss is pressed against the sparse triangle of hair, dampened with arousal and with faint droplets of water that ricochet from cy's broad shoulders. he pets his thumbs along the folds of sasuke's pussy, pausing to push a tacky line of come into his cunt, as if one element of the scene, at least, has carried over here. another kiss is pressed against the trapped fold of his labia, first the left and then the right. given that they haven't done much with him in this female form, it's the first time he's really been afforded the luxury of taking something slow. ）
May I? Not to get you off, （ he knows sasuke would try for him, but it's not necessary for him to enjoy the act, which he elaborates on: ） just to taste you. Just to touch you.
[Obediently his hand slips into Cy's hair, combing back wet strands in a meditative touch meant more for physical connection and intimacy than anything overtly sexual. There's a sharp intake of breath when Cy reaches the piercing, but the pain is negligible, removed so deftly only a spark of discomfort is felt across sensitive nerve-ends. Sasuke exhales — as he was once taught, those slow and steady cycles of breath meant to calm the body as much as the mind, arousal stirring at Cy's words though it is dimmed to embers rather than wild, burning flames.]
Yeah. [A nod to that question, flushed cheeks easily disguised by the heat of the shower. He almost feels more self-conscious in this form while they're not having sex — it's an adjustment outside of a distinct purpose. He hasn't spent much time at all in it so casually.] I don't know if I could even... get off another time.
[It seems dizzying, the number of orgasms Cy had wrung out of him over the course of the scene.]
Hah— [air escapes his lips, soft and fluttering. He shifts, aware of the dildo still lodged inside of him as Cy strokes his cunt, kisses tender skin, folds still wet and slippery when parted, making Sasuke squirm as a tacky drip of come is pushed by back into his hole.] Cy...
Yeah. [A nod to that question, flushed cheeks easily disguised by the heat of the shower. He almost feels more self-conscious in this form while they're not having sex — it's an adjustment outside of a distinct purpose. He hasn't spent much time at all in it so casually.] I don't know if I could even... get off another time.
[It seems dizzying, the number of orgasms Cy had wrung out of him over the course of the scene.]
Hah— [air escapes his lips, soft and fluttering. He shifts, aware of the dildo still lodged inside of him as Cy strokes his cunt, kisses tender skin, folds still wet and slippery when parted, making Sasuke squirm as a tacky drip of come is pushed by back into his hole.] Cy...
（ he ducks briefly first, settling sasuke's thighs over his shoulders rather than levered apart by them, and then just starts lapping at him gently. as promised, his touch is not inherently sexual save for the obvious connotations of oral, but — it's more exploratory, almost cleansing. he slips a finger inside him as he does it, angled away from the pressure of the dildo. as with the gentle laving of his tongue, this too is not done with deliberacy towards arousal. it's more — indicating the desire to be inside him however possible, and the possessiveness and love that accompanies the act.
he stays there, on his knees on wet tile, until he can only taste himself between sasuke's legs — and that's when he leans back a little, pressing his mouth against the boy's inner thigh. he pulls his finger loose with some reluctance, licking it clean well within sasuke's field of vision. then: ）
Few ways I can take the dildo out. Either you can lie back on the bench and I can do it from here, or I can put you over my knee like I do when I spank you and do it that way, or I can get you to kneel on the tile and lean over the bench and do it like that. What do you want, sweetheart?
（ he's already reaching to undo the ties of the crotch rope anyway — tossing the wet mess into a corner of the shower. ）
he stays there, on his knees on wet tile, until he can only taste himself between sasuke's legs — and that's when he leans back a little, pressing his mouth against the boy's inner thigh. he pulls his finger loose with some reluctance, licking it clean well within sasuke's field of vision. then: ）
Few ways I can take the dildo out. Either you can lie back on the bench and I can do it from here, or I can put you over my knee like I do when I spank you and do it that way, or I can get you to kneel on the tile and lean over the bench and do it like that. What do you want, sweetheart?
（ he's already reaching to undo the ties of the crotch rope anyway — tossing the wet mess into a corner of the shower. ）
[Self-consciousness creeps up on him, though it never lingers too long around Cy these days — but it's there for a moment, smoldering low as Cy pays such acute attention to the space between his legs, licking away the tacky dampness of arousal responsive simply to direct stimulation. He can't help it, but gratefully his body is spent enough that the slow build toward sexual interest is more muted, staved off as Cy laps at his cunt, finger stroking gently at that soft inner channel.
Heat pools through his body, intensified as he watches Cy surface from between his legs, mouth wet and messy as he cleans off a finger. Then he's speaking; Sasuke has to focus in order to hear and understand it.]
I'll lie back. [For a reason voiced in the next moment—] I want to be able to see you.
[This, too, is less for any sexual desire than the crave for intimacy, to be close to Cy's face, to have his eyes. As the minutes go on, he's more cognizant of his own emotional state — and the fragile clinginess that surfaces as a result of every vulnerability he's displayed over the course of the scene. Normally there would be an urge to suppress it, to push down that sentiment for its weakness, but Cy has taught him better to open himself and yield to it instead. Yet there is still discomfort to contend with, because change is not easy — his throat is tight, eyes glassy, face spotted with pink from both hot steam and the swell of emotion he feels. Sasuke tries to pay attention to the immediate present, shifting his body on the bench so he's partially reclined.]
Is this enough?
Heat pools through his body, intensified as he watches Cy surface from between his legs, mouth wet and messy as he cleans off a finger. Then he's speaking; Sasuke has to focus in order to hear and understand it.]
I'll lie back. [For a reason voiced in the next moment—] I want to be able to see you.
[This, too, is less for any sexual desire than the crave for intimacy, to be close to Cy's face, to have his eyes. As the minutes go on, he's more cognizant of his own emotional state — and the fragile clinginess that surfaces as a result of every vulnerability he's displayed over the course of the scene. Normally there would be an urge to suppress it, to push down that sentiment for its weakness, but Cy has taught him better to open himself and yield to it instead. Yet there is still discomfort to contend with, because change is not easy — his throat is tight, eyes glassy, face spotted with pink from both hot steam and the swell of emotion he feels. Sasuke tries to pay attention to the immediate present, shifting his body on the bench so he's partially reclined.]
Is this enough?
Yeah.
（ he reaches up and curls one hand around sasuke's fingers just to hold him as he works the dildo out with the other. he murmurs instruction — when to relax, when to bear down, and eases it out slowly so that the pain of chafing and overuse is minimal. it, too, gets discarded in a corner of the shower, and then cy presses another kiss low on his belly before he stands. he can see the emotional catharsis taking place, and rather than speak to it he simply reinforces its importance and veracity with little touches, a kiss pressed against the boy's palm, and a loving caress to his cheek as he sits beside him. it's okay, every gesture lays bare between them. it's okay. if it's a lot, if it's overwhelming, if he needs to cry or examine his own feelings in another way. whatever the knife, they handle it together.
after a few minutes' quiet comfort, he shifts — cleaning supplies are taken out of the kit just outside the shower. shampoo, conditioner, a gentle body soap that can function as a disinfectant.
there's a shower mat draped over the curtain rod, and cy tugs it down and puts it in front of the bench, and then scoops sasuke up so he can rearrange him on the mat so cy can sit behind him. gently, he starts taking his hair from the braid, letting the strands spill like ink across pale skin. rather than start with shampoo, he actually conditions it first so that it's easier to get out any snarls or tangles, combing his fingers through it. he has his thighs around sasuke's torso, knees pressed in against his ribs, ankles crossed in the boy's lap. just holding him as he works. every spare moment occupied by a kiss when he leans forward, or a sentiment that's sweet and soft when he tucks long hair behind one of sasuke's ears. at one point he folds himself nearly in half just to wrap his arms over the top of sasuke's shoulders, elbows awkwardly bent so he can cup the boy's breasts, cradling or enveloping as much of him as he possibly can. ）
I don't think anyone's ever made this good for me the way you do.
（ he kisses at the side of his neck, and then just rests his chin on sasuke's shoulder. he's perched like an unfortunately flexible cryptid — though he's not terribly concerned with how he looks at the moment. ）
The way you can sob and beg for me, the way you can fight, all that beautiful defiance you worked so hard to show me. Thank you, t'che verai. Whatever else happens here, meeting you has been worth enduring anything.
（ he reaches up and curls one hand around sasuke's fingers just to hold him as he works the dildo out with the other. he murmurs instruction — when to relax, when to bear down, and eases it out slowly so that the pain of chafing and overuse is minimal. it, too, gets discarded in a corner of the shower, and then cy presses another kiss low on his belly before he stands. he can see the emotional catharsis taking place, and rather than speak to it he simply reinforces its importance and veracity with little touches, a kiss pressed against the boy's palm, and a loving caress to his cheek as he sits beside him. it's okay, every gesture lays bare between them. it's okay. if it's a lot, if it's overwhelming, if he needs to cry or examine his own feelings in another way. whatever the knife, they handle it together.
after a few minutes' quiet comfort, he shifts — cleaning supplies are taken out of the kit just outside the shower. shampoo, conditioner, a gentle body soap that can function as a disinfectant.
there's a shower mat draped over the curtain rod, and cy tugs it down and puts it in front of the bench, and then scoops sasuke up so he can rearrange him on the mat so cy can sit behind him. gently, he starts taking his hair from the braid, letting the strands spill like ink across pale skin. rather than start with shampoo, he actually conditions it first so that it's easier to get out any snarls or tangles, combing his fingers through it. he has his thighs around sasuke's torso, knees pressed in against his ribs, ankles crossed in the boy's lap. just holding him as he works. every spare moment occupied by a kiss when he leans forward, or a sentiment that's sweet and soft when he tucks long hair behind one of sasuke's ears. at one point he folds himself nearly in half just to wrap his arms over the top of sasuke's shoulders, elbows awkwardly bent so he can cup the boy's breasts, cradling or enveloping as much of him as he possibly can. ）
I don't think anyone's ever made this good for me the way you do.
（ he kisses at the side of his neck, and then just rests his chin on sasuke's shoulder. he's perched like an unfortunately flexible cryptid — though he's not terribly concerned with how he looks at the moment. ）
The way you can sob and beg for me, the way you can fight, all that beautiful defiance you worked so hard to show me. Thank you, t'che verai. Whatever else happens here, meeting you has been worth enduring anything.
[The enormity of what Cy does for him through the gentle, exacting process of aftercare is not new — they have done this before. Yet in light of all of their experiences together up to this moment, and after the intensity of their first fully fledged scene, Sasuke finds himself so deeply touched that he cannot speak through the careful ministrations, the kisses and touches laid on his skin as the toy is worked free and discarded, as he's set on the mat and Cy cradles him close, as the water rains over them. He blinks away tears not from any kind of sorrow but rather just an expression of — feeling. All that has been pent up in him, denied, pushed down and ruthlessly ignored, the good and the bad. He feels closer to himself, then, and closer to Cy than he has felt to anyone in his life.
It is as he said earlier. Cy is the other half of his soul — whether it has any true spiritual meaning or not, it is what Sasuke believes. And that is all that matters.
A soft sigh escapes him, lost to the sound of water as Cy drapes over top of him, hands warm where they cup at full flesh, breasts still tender and sensitive from prior abuse. The attention paid to his hair in combination with the heat has made him drowsy, hand curled over Cy's ankles and head turned to nudge at Cy's cheek. The spoken words summon another wave of emotionality, but — he doesn't brace against it. He doesn't fight. He lets it pass through, no longer unwelcome.]
I would never give it up. Meeting you. [The nudge becomes a nuzzle against Cy's cheek, like a large cat — a showing of affection they've both exhibited in this exact way countless times by now.] It's effortless, to be with you. I didn't know that it could feel like that.
[Another quiet exhale, body easing to a boneless state in the cradle of Cy's legs.]
How you are when you're like that... I know it comes with difficulty for you. But, the fact that you trust me enough to show it to me, I don't take that for granted. [Little steps guided by Cy's communication efforts, allowing him to follow.] And you're — so attractive. [Thankfully, if he's blushing, Cy won't be able to see it well from that angle.] Impossibly attractive. Everything you do to me, but especially everything you say.
[Their first experience is never far from his mind, after all.]
It is as he said earlier. Cy is the other half of his soul — whether it has any true spiritual meaning or not, it is what Sasuke believes. And that is all that matters.
A soft sigh escapes him, lost to the sound of water as Cy drapes over top of him, hands warm where they cup at full flesh, breasts still tender and sensitive from prior abuse. The attention paid to his hair in combination with the heat has made him drowsy, hand curled over Cy's ankles and head turned to nudge at Cy's cheek. The spoken words summon another wave of emotionality, but — he doesn't brace against it. He doesn't fight. He lets it pass through, no longer unwelcome.]
I would never give it up. Meeting you. [The nudge becomes a nuzzle against Cy's cheek, like a large cat — a showing of affection they've both exhibited in this exact way countless times by now.] It's effortless, to be with you. I didn't know that it could feel like that.
[Another quiet exhale, body easing to a boneless state in the cradle of Cy's legs.]
How you are when you're like that... I know it comes with difficulty for you. But, the fact that you trust me enough to show it to me, I don't take that for granted. [Little steps guided by Cy's communication efforts, allowing him to follow.] And you're — so attractive. [Thankfully, if he's blushing, Cy won't be able to see it well from that angle.] Impossibly attractive. Everything you do to me, but especially everything you say.
[Their first experience is never far from his mind, after all.]
（ cy tilts his head to kiss at sasuke's cheek. more accustomed to handling the intensity of such emotions, it doesn't quite overwhelm him — it's more like standing in a familiar, sheltered cove, sinking into well-loved water. it's something calm and blessed as a boon. sasuke's journey from self-denial and fear to this gentle place, offering love without apprehension of denial or betrayal or hurt is worth more than anything else to him, and cy's hold on him tightens briefly in acknowledgement. ）
I won't say it's not hard. （ he doesn't mind admitting to the vulnerability. sasuke is already aware of it, after all — and the communication is more important than his pride. ） I'd never raise a hand to you in any other context, ever. （ sasuke is aware of that. it's more for himself that he says it, some fractured form of self-soothing that reinforces the discipline that it requires. ） But knowing that I can in those moments, seeing the evidence of your enjoyment, and being able to put my hands on you later without fear of you flinching, or seeing terror in your expression... （ there's another soft kiss pressed against sasuke's shoulder ） having you reach for me is a gift.
（ mirroring sasuke's gesture, he butts his cheek against the crown of the boy's hair as he straightens and resumes the cleaning of his hair. in theory, he could reduce the work by asking sasuke to change back to male — but he made his hair in this form dirty and tangled, and he wants to make it right properly, not by taking such a shortcut. ）
And thank you, for saying the right thing when I hesitated. I had a bit of a fistfight with old demons, but — you got me through it.
I won't say it's not hard. （ he doesn't mind admitting to the vulnerability. sasuke is already aware of it, after all — and the communication is more important than his pride. ） I'd never raise a hand to you in any other context, ever. （ sasuke is aware of that. it's more for himself that he says it, some fractured form of self-soothing that reinforces the discipline that it requires. ） But knowing that I can in those moments, seeing the evidence of your enjoyment, and being able to put my hands on you later without fear of you flinching, or seeing terror in your expression... （ there's another soft kiss pressed against sasuke's shoulder ） having you reach for me is a gift.
（ mirroring sasuke's gesture, he butts his cheek against the crown of the boy's hair as he straightens and resumes the cleaning of his hair. in theory, he could reduce the work by asking sasuke to change back to male — but he made his hair in this form dirty and tangled, and he wants to make it right properly, not by taking such a shortcut. ）
And thank you, for saying the right thing when I hesitated. I had a bit of a fistfight with old demons, but — you got me through it.
[He hums, reluctant to part from Cy's closeness but allowing him to straighten and work at the snarls of long, dark hair, heavy with the saturation of water, his hand instinctively petting over one of Cy's ankles. It's impossible to imagine — Cy harming him outside of that context, beyond the boundaries they've set. But he also understands that such control was hard-won across the timelessness of the man's immortal existence. And it hurts to know that.]
We take care of each other. [He leans back, letting the bench take more of his weight in a relaxed slump. Mismatched eyes glance backward, searching for Cy.] Do you want to tell me about it? Those old demons.
[He expects — no, because to this point Cy has not told him in great detail any of those terrible parts of his past, but still, Sasuke wants him to know that door is open.]
We take care of each other. [He leans back, letting the bench take more of his weight in a relaxed slump. Mismatched eyes glance backward, searching for Cy.] Do you want to tell me about it? Those old demons.
[He expects — no, because to this point Cy has not told him in great detail any of those terrible parts of his past, but still, Sasuke wants him to know that door is open.]
（ satisfied he's worked all the tangles out, he moves to the shampoo. thick, dark hair is lathered up and he works the pads of his fingers in against sasuke's scalp as he leans backwards.
it's a loaded question — and as sasuke guesses the instinctive, kneejerk answer is no. but it would be hypocritical of him to stress the importance of discussing traumas, of facing it, and not do it himself. it doesn't matter that this is ground he's retread before — sasuke hasn't seen him do it, and he suspects that the boy will always feel like there's a part of him he can't touch if cy refuses him now.
he doesn't speak right away. instead, when he's satisfied with the suds, he gently nudges sasuke forwards under the water and lets his hair rinse out.
then, as he works conditioner into it anew: ）
You already know KV liked to hurt people, that's not — news. In the time he was... you know, （ sometimes cy calls kulo vayn it and sometimes he. it's not really evident of anything save perhaps a use of a language with variance to the pronouns being translated between them, but here it seems almost deliberate. ） I watched the eradication of eleven worlds. Billions upon billions of people. But sometimes, if he found someone that was... ah, I'll use the term 'warborne'. Someone who could walk into a room and draw his attention on the strength of their connection to conflict. He'd take those people and make them an offer. If they could withstand him for a time, he'd 'leave their world alive'. He had a different definition of alive than most mortals would. It didn't change anything in the end, except maybe to delay the inevitable. He'd torture them in ways I don't need to explain. There were three people, across three worlds. Priya Adhavesti, Sinyi, and Eska Rao. The worlds were Veskakandar, Zenta Brikan, and Osiere. Eska was last.
（ it's funny how those memories can be recalled perfectly. time has not dulled them. they are as vivid in their grotesqueries as if they had happened only hours ago. as he rinses the conditioner from sasuke's hair and gently plaits it over one shoulder, he continues: ）
I think you would have liked them. All of them. Priya was an artist with any weapon she touched. She liked to dance. She'd never cut her hair, and it fell to the floor like a curtain that smelled like sandalwood when it was unbound. She realized that I was — me. That the actions weren't mine. I don't know how. Her people had some psychic sensitivity, maybe it was that. She used to say it wasn't my fault. She called KV 'the one with the dull blade' in her native tongue. Christ aloud, he hated that.
（ her words were the only weapons she had, and she used them well until kv cut out her tongue. ）
Sinyi was an elemental magic user, kinda like how your jutsu work. Water and Earth. She was tiny, barely half my size, but she could move mountains and divert rivers with a thought. She lasted the longest, and when she realized that KV wasn't going to spare her people she brought a mountain down on top of us. It killed her. KV was pissed about that — he kept another god prisoner, and he used to force him to resurrect people. He tried it on Sinyi, but she'd... done something to her soul, spirit, whatever you want to call it. It didn't work. KV usually took his time killing all the life on a planet, but that one world he destroyed outright in an instant. He was furious. I'd never seen him like that before, and only once since.
（ she'd been so, so brave. cy remembers her grin, teeth red to the gums with blood. she died thinking that perhaps she'd won. most people weren't so lucky. ）
Eska was a big guy. Quiet. He didn't have any powers, he didn't have any special skills. But he was steady, and he was strong. He hated cruelty. KV had actually made the offer to someone else, but Eska volunteered and that ... intrigued him. He's the only one KV left alive. He'd worshipped the — （ his voice cracks, just a little. perhaps it's hidden by the soft fall of water, or perhaps it isn't. but — ） the god of war, at the temple in Mon Mahara. That's how I knew about it. But I have no way of knowing if he ever made it back there before he died, or if he succumbed to his injuries out in the desert. I didn't go back for... I don't know how long. At least a millennia. Probably more, so — there was no finding his body. I used to dream about giving him a proper funeral, in the custom of a long-dead people. But it was just a dream, in the end.
it's a loaded question — and as sasuke guesses the instinctive, kneejerk answer is no. but it would be hypocritical of him to stress the importance of discussing traumas, of facing it, and not do it himself. it doesn't matter that this is ground he's retread before — sasuke hasn't seen him do it, and he suspects that the boy will always feel like there's a part of him he can't touch if cy refuses him now.
he doesn't speak right away. instead, when he's satisfied with the suds, he gently nudges sasuke forwards under the water and lets his hair rinse out.
then, as he works conditioner into it anew: ）
You already know KV liked to hurt people, that's not — news. In the time he was... you know, （ sometimes cy calls kulo vayn it and sometimes he. it's not really evident of anything save perhaps a use of a language with variance to the pronouns being translated between them, but here it seems almost deliberate. ） I watched the eradication of eleven worlds. Billions upon billions of people. But sometimes, if he found someone that was... ah, I'll use the term 'warborne'. Someone who could walk into a room and draw his attention on the strength of their connection to conflict. He'd take those people and make them an offer. If they could withstand him for a time, he'd 'leave their world alive'. He had a different definition of alive than most mortals would. It didn't change anything in the end, except maybe to delay the inevitable. He'd torture them in ways I don't need to explain. There were three people, across three worlds. Priya Adhavesti, Sinyi, and Eska Rao. The worlds were Veskakandar, Zenta Brikan, and Osiere. Eska was last.
（ it's funny how those memories can be recalled perfectly. time has not dulled them. they are as vivid in their grotesqueries as if they had happened only hours ago. as he rinses the conditioner from sasuke's hair and gently plaits it over one shoulder, he continues: ）
I think you would have liked them. All of them. Priya was an artist with any weapon she touched. She liked to dance. She'd never cut her hair, and it fell to the floor like a curtain that smelled like sandalwood when it was unbound. She realized that I was — me. That the actions weren't mine. I don't know how. Her people had some psychic sensitivity, maybe it was that. She used to say it wasn't my fault. She called KV 'the one with the dull blade' in her native tongue. Christ aloud, he hated that.
（ her words were the only weapons she had, and she used them well until kv cut out her tongue. ）
Sinyi was an elemental magic user, kinda like how your jutsu work. Water and Earth. She was tiny, barely half my size, but she could move mountains and divert rivers with a thought. She lasted the longest, and when she realized that KV wasn't going to spare her people she brought a mountain down on top of us. It killed her. KV was pissed about that — he kept another god prisoner, and he used to force him to resurrect people. He tried it on Sinyi, but she'd... done something to her soul, spirit, whatever you want to call it. It didn't work. KV usually took his time killing all the life on a planet, but that one world he destroyed outright in an instant. He was furious. I'd never seen him like that before, and only once since.
（ she'd been so, so brave. cy remembers her grin, teeth red to the gums with blood. she died thinking that perhaps she'd won. most people weren't so lucky. ）
Eska was a big guy. Quiet. He didn't have any powers, he didn't have any special skills. But he was steady, and he was strong. He hated cruelty. KV had actually made the offer to someone else, but Eska volunteered and that ... intrigued him. He's the only one KV left alive. He'd worshipped the — （ his voice cracks, just a little. perhaps it's hidden by the soft fall of water, or perhaps it isn't. but — ） the god of war, at the temple in Mon Mahara. That's how I knew about it. But I have no way of knowing if he ever made it back there before he died, or if he succumbed to his injuries out in the desert. I didn't go back for... I don't know how long. At least a millennia. Probably more, so — there was no finding his body. I used to dream about giving him a proper funeral, in the custom of a long-dead people. But it was just a dream, in the end.
[It has never once left his mind what Cy has endured since its telling, when they sat together beneath a tree in the Vale and Cy gave him that honesty. Yet as well as Cy has mastered himself over millennia, so rarely does the subject of that history arise between them — and less, if at all, in any significant detail. He understands and comprehends how Cy's sensitivity to compulsion is a result of KV's influence. KV is still there; any amount of mental tampering poses the potential to interfere with the greatest horror a mind can imagine. He also understands that the man's proclivity toward sadism is a double-edged blade, and it wears on him, and it has taken efforts of self-control to carve out these rules they follow during sex. Cy has said he doesn't need it, and Sasuke believes him — but he's seen Cy's pleasure enough to know it is there. Perhaps will always be there, as a consequence of what he has been made to suffer.
Eleven whole worlds of people. Billion is an unfathomable count. Billions upon billions, almost impossible. Now Cy is giving him the detail of three individuals who KV targeted specifically, and Sasuke understands the connection at once. Perhaps if that entity had ever visited his own planet, he would have looked upon the population and found a variety of "warborne" to torment. Naruto — a thought that grips his heart with fear, because it is a sacrifice Naruto would make without question. Yet would Naruto be too peace-loving for something like Kulo Vayn? Would that count against him, or would it be preferable?
... Sasuke would have made that same choice too. He had almost made it, once, when he swore to take on the shinobi world's darkness. He'd wanted to sacrifice himself. He'd wanted to be throw himself onto the spear, alone. He can understand the minds of these three people, Priya and Sinyi and Eska, even if he has never met them and never will. Perhaps that is the point. Yes, he would have liked them.
But against Cy's pain, which is endless and eternal, at least theirs was temporary. At least it ended, eventually.
Once Cy finishes tending to his hair, Sasuke pushes himself up to stand beneath the spray of water, turning to face the man, drawing him into an embrace. He tucks Cy's head against his stomach, the skin soft and warm and wet.]
I'm sorry. [A whisper.] I'm glad I know who they were. I'm sorry you have to remember what happened to them. [He combs his right hand through Cy's wet hair, then reaches for the shampoo to begin washing it, just as was done for him.] They aren't in pain anymore, but you still are. I hate that.
[It is said as gently as a confession, no fire of animosity — even if he could summon it against Kulo Vayn in an instant.]
Thank you for telling me.
Eleven whole worlds of people. Billion is an unfathomable count. Billions upon billions, almost impossible. Now Cy is giving him the detail of three individuals who KV targeted specifically, and Sasuke understands the connection at once. Perhaps if that entity had ever visited his own planet, he would have looked upon the population and found a variety of "warborne" to torment. Naruto — a thought that grips his heart with fear, because it is a sacrifice Naruto would make without question. Yet would Naruto be too peace-loving for something like Kulo Vayn? Would that count against him, or would it be preferable?
... Sasuke would have made that same choice too. He had almost made it, once, when he swore to take on the shinobi world's darkness. He'd wanted to sacrifice himself. He'd wanted to be throw himself onto the spear, alone. He can understand the minds of these three people, Priya and Sinyi and Eska, even if he has never met them and never will. Perhaps that is the point. Yes, he would have liked them.
But against Cy's pain, which is endless and eternal, at least theirs was temporary. At least it ended, eventually.
Once Cy finishes tending to his hair, Sasuke pushes himself up to stand beneath the spray of water, turning to face the man, drawing him into an embrace. He tucks Cy's head against his stomach, the skin soft and warm and wet.]
I'm sorry. [A whisper.] I'm glad I know who they were. I'm sorry you have to remember what happened to them. [He combs his right hand through Cy's wet hair, then reaches for the shampoo to begin washing it, just as was done for him.] They aren't in pain anymore, but you still are. I hate that.
[It is said as gently as a confession, no fire of animosity — even if he could summon it against Kulo Vayn in an instant.]
Thank you for telling me.
（ old wounds, badly healed — but the scar tissue holds as he leans against sasuke, pressing a kiss below his navel before turning his head to nuzzle in close, wrapping both arms around him. ）
Yeah.
（ it's muffled slightly, by water and by the press of his cheek. he doesn't pull away to continue, just raises his voice a little so he knows he'll be heard over the water. ）
It's — I don't mind talking about it with you. It's not an imposition, or a burden when you ask. But most of the bad shit that's happened to me was millennia ago, you know? I've dealt with the messy stuff, up here, （ one hand extricates itself from about sasuke's hips and reaches to touch his own temple, tapping there lightly in indication of what he means. ） and it's hard to tell you these things when the only outcome is making you hurt. I know you can take it, that's — it's not that.
（ another soft kiss, this time pressed against one of sasuke's many bruises gained during their scene. ）
I don't want to keep things from you. But I also don't want to pour only stories of suffering into you until it drowns everything else. I've lived good lives, Sasuke. I've met good people. More good than bad. I've loved in a thousand languages. I've watched civilizations grow up out of the mud. I've taught people the fundamental language of the universe. I've seen sunrises in the most beautiful places, wild and remote, where no one has ever walked before me and no one will walk for a million years after. I've charted constellations across velvet-black skies until it felt like no corner of the universe was beyond my reach. I've held babies at their first breath and their elderly hands at their last.
（ sasuke is scratching idly at his scalp, and he closes his eyes against errant suds from the shampoo. luxuriating in the touch. ）
The good stories are the ones I want to share with you, not the awful shit. But I'll still tell you, if you ask. And if I don't, or can't, I'll tell you why.
Yeah.
（ it's muffled slightly, by water and by the press of his cheek. he doesn't pull away to continue, just raises his voice a little so he knows he'll be heard over the water. ）
It's — I don't mind talking about it with you. It's not an imposition, or a burden when you ask. But most of the bad shit that's happened to me was millennia ago, you know? I've dealt with the messy stuff, up here, （ one hand extricates itself from about sasuke's hips and reaches to touch his own temple, tapping there lightly in indication of what he means. ） and it's hard to tell you these things when the only outcome is making you hurt. I know you can take it, that's — it's not that.
（ another soft kiss, this time pressed against one of sasuke's many bruises gained during their scene. ）
I don't want to keep things from you. But I also don't want to pour only stories of suffering into you until it drowns everything else. I've lived good lives, Sasuke. I've met good people. More good than bad. I've loved in a thousand languages. I've watched civilizations grow up out of the mud. I've taught people the fundamental language of the universe. I've seen sunrises in the most beautiful places, wild and remote, where no one has ever walked before me and no one will walk for a million years after. I've charted constellations across velvet-black skies until it felt like no corner of the universe was beyond my reach. I've held babies at their first breath and their elderly hands at their last.
（ sasuke is scratching idly at his scalp, and he closes his eyes against errant suds from the shampoo. luxuriating in the touch. ）
The good stories are the ones I want to share with you, not the awful shit. But I'll still tell you, if you ask. And if I don't, or can't, I'll tell you why.
[He's silent for a time after Cy finishes speaking. One-handed, the process of washing Cy's hair is more tedious, but thankfully there is not nearly as much of it, so the steps move a little quicker. It isn't like he has forgotten Cy's age, or the countless lives he's lived across a whole universe of worlds — but sometimes it is difficult for his own mind to grasp. He tries, but it seems like a paltry understanding when his own existence has been so — short, by comparison.]
I want to know everything about you, [is his eventual answer.] Who you are, what you've seen. Good and bad.
[It goes deeper than that basic desire, yet he cannot easily articulate those words. He doesn't know how. What he feels is beyond love, by now, and closer to obsession — or perhaps they are the same. Perhaps the love is the obsession. He has told Cy already about the features of his own clan and their tendency to experience intense emotion, and they've discussed what might happen if they were to be separated, but... rather than feel better prepared for that potential outcome, Sasuke worries he is going in the opposite direction. Because when he thinks of it, anxiety is like a fathomless drop underfoot. And it gets worse, not better.
Cy views their relationship as temporary by nature of his immortality, but — what if Sasuke can't accept that?
There's a slow breath, measured out, and then he reaches for one of Cy's hands to complete the seals that will change him back to his ordinary form. While he doesn't mind that feminine body, it still isn't what he prefers.]
But if you want to, tell me a good story now.
I want to know everything about you, [is his eventual answer.] Who you are, what you've seen. Good and bad.
[It goes deeper than that basic desire, yet he cannot easily articulate those words. He doesn't know how. What he feels is beyond love, by now, and closer to obsession — or perhaps they are the same. Perhaps the love is the obsession. He has told Cy already about the features of his own clan and their tendency to experience intense emotion, and they've discussed what might happen if they were to be separated, but... rather than feel better prepared for that potential outcome, Sasuke worries he is going in the opposite direction. Because when he thinks of it, anxiety is like a fathomless drop underfoot. And it gets worse, not better.
Cy views their relationship as temporary by nature of his immortality, but — what if Sasuke can't accept that?
There's a slow breath, measured out, and then he reaches for one of Cy's hands to complete the seals that will change him back to his ordinary form. While he doesn't mind that feminine body, it still isn't what he prefers.]
But if you want to, tell me a good story now.
I will.
（ the change is barely noticeable given his state of mind — sasuke is only himself, in either body, and features that are absent or gained between them are ultimately irrelevant to him. he presses another kiss against his abdomen, and then: ）
But can it be once we're out of the shower? I think I just want to be here with you for now.
（ a tug to sasuke's hand pulls him into cy's lap, and he reaches for the soap again so he can start cleaning him elsewhere than just hair alone. he is as gentle and tender here as he wasn't during their scene, and every little mark or blemish laid on his skin gets paid mind, the ritual slow but exacting, merciless only in its thoroughness.
sasuke reciprocates in turn — and once they're finished cy disinfects and bandages his little wounds, bundles him into a towel and carries him back to the bed, setting him briefly into the chair. he's given a little bento of fruit and veggies, neatly cut, and water on the nearby end table, painkillers to be taken once he's had some food. and as sasuke works his way through those instructions, cy changes the sheets and takes the ropes down from where he'd tied them. the implements they'd used get cleaned and put away, and when the room looks nearly as it did when they first entered, he collects sasuke into his arms and settles on the bed. the light in the room is low, and he feels — tired, in a way that rarely settles so deeply in his bones.
cy kisses at his damp hair, adjusting towels and blankets until they're skin-to-skin. one hand strokes idly down sasuke's spine, then back up to press his palm over the back of his neck like the collar they'd left in the bathroom. his other hand cradles the boy's cock and balls in a way that's entirely without sexual drive, just — holding a part of him so lately bruised.
then: ）
Do you have water dragons in your world?
（ the change is barely noticeable given his state of mind — sasuke is only himself, in either body, and features that are absent or gained between them are ultimately irrelevant to him. he presses another kiss against his abdomen, and then: ）
But can it be once we're out of the shower? I think I just want to be here with you for now.
（ a tug to sasuke's hand pulls him into cy's lap, and he reaches for the soap again so he can start cleaning him elsewhere than just hair alone. he is as gentle and tender here as he wasn't during their scene, and every little mark or blemish laid on his skin gets paid mind, the ritual slow but exacting, merciless only in its thoroughness.
sasuke reciprocates in turn — and once they're finished cy disinfects and bandages his little wounds, bundles him into a towel and carries him back to the bed, setting him briefly into the chair. he's given a little bento of fruit and veggies, neatly cut, and water on the nearby end table, painkillers to be taken once he's had some food. and as sasuke works his way through those instructions, cy changes the sheets and takes the ropes down from where he'd tied them. the implements they'd used get cleaned and put away, and when the room looks nearly as it did when they first entered, he collects sasuke into his arms and settles on the bed. the light in the room is low, and he feels — tired, in a way that rarely settles so deeply in his bones.
cy kisses at his damp hair, adjusting towels and blankets until they're skin-to-skin. one hand strokes idly down sasuke's spine, then back up to press his palm over the back of his neck like the collar they'd left in the bathroom. his other hand cradles the boy's cock and balls in a way that's entirely without sexual drive, just — holding a part of him so lately bruised.
then: ）
Do you have water dragons in your world?
Edited 2024-07-19 01:32 (UTC)
[He just nods, and lets the shower continue that way until Cy picks him and carries him to the chair — where he eats from the bento with a knot in his throat, more touched than he dares to voice by this gesture, and before he finishes it off he presses a small cherry tomato to Cy's lips. Then they go to bed in a bundle of naked limbs, inseparably tangled. He slings one leg over both of Cy's, butting in against a strong shoulder, peering up through damp lashes at the face he's come to know so well, feeling warm in both places Cy touches.]
I know what dragons are, but not as a real or sentient animal — only jutsu.
[Myth, instead. Perhaps they existed once, but it was not while Sasuke was alive.]
Why are they called water dragons?
I know what dragons are, but not as a real or sentient animal — only jutsu.
[Myth, instead. Perhaps they existed once, but it was not while Sasuke was alive.]
Why are they called water dragons?
Edited 2024-07-19 01:45 (UTC)
（ love is the only reason sasuke doesn't get the most sarcastic answer alive, actually. ）
I think it's because people tend to look for things in the natural world that could resemble something supernatural, you know? If you've ever seen a river from far away, you might mistake it for a long, twisting snake. Or maybe a dragon.
（ he prefers creatures associated with water, by and large. the element is innate to him in a way little else feels to be. ）
But with these ones it was literal. They were sentient, but their style of communicating was like nothing I'd ever encountered. It was like... empathy, almost. They communicated with colour shifts in their scales, but... if you touched one, you could feel its emotions like a colour. Blue for water, for tranquillity. Yellow for warmth and joy. That sort of thing. The colours would bleed together to impart more complex emotions. But it wasn't... ah, it wasn't distinct. Their colours would change when encountering yours. Like sadness was a dull grey, like a bleak sea — but if you touched one of the little ones when it was happy, you'd borrow from each other. That's how their communities helped each other. If enough of them touched you, bad emotions would dilute until everyone carried just a little, and the burden was lessened.
They had these vast, underground caverns where they lived, but they'd come up on the land to sunbathe and play. They'd lay eggs in the sand, and they'd incubate for centuries until they hatched. I showed up during one of their seasonal beach vacations. The little ones just sort of came up and rubbed all over me — green was curiosity, by the way — and they tried to get me to play. The oldest dragon is called, ah... 'She Who Encircles The World As If It Were A Living Pearl', I think that's how it would translate. She's massive, couldn't even begin to fit on the beach, and she displaced enough water to raise the shoreline by fifteen, twenty meters. I'm not entirely sure that the tidal phases on that planet weren't just caused by her — we're talking miles, and miles long. But once she heard that there was some weird dude on two legs hanging out, she wanted to talk to me. She rested her head on the beach and sort of burrowed into it until I could see her eyes if I was standing. Her ability to communicate was more advanced than the younger ones. It was almost like talking.
（ he remembers the way her scales had glittered, flickering like something electric, colours he'd never seen before or since, that have no name he knows. how the sheer scale of her had seemed so alien. impossible. illogical. what did she eat to survive? and what the hell had she eaten to get to that size in the first place? then again, he doesn't need food or water or air to live either — so perhaps it's not so singular as all that. ）
I'd never met anyone older than me up until then, save the other gods. It was humbling. And every time I felt... any time I was scared, or overwhelmed, or hurt, or angry she'd just — rub against me, or lick me, or give me a nudge — I literally cannot overstate how massive she was, by the way, so this would've been hilarious to witness — until she'd blotted out what I was feeling with these mellow blues or soft yellows or pink or orange. Orange was love, you know?
（ he doesn't remember the name sasuke had given him, of the boy he'd loved. but he does remember the colour. ）
She's still alive, Pearl. I go back every once in a while. I got to see one of their broods hatch, all these tiny, newborn dragons aglow with one of two emotions: hunger or play. I'd play music for them on the beach and they'd turn into a glittering fuchsia wave as they listened, rapt. They had music too, but it was different. Underwater, sounds like singing. They'd pick their caverns based on how much they liked the acoustics.
（ there's a bit of a laugh, then: ）
Pearl let me ride her exactly once. It barely felt like moving — she told me I felt like some sort of sea louse squirming around on her back, which is almost the worst thing I've ever been called. It's one of the only worlds I've been to where there's no war, no conflict that isn't just animals needing to eat. It's another place I'd love to take you one day.
I think it's because people tend to look for things in the natural world that could resemble something supernatural, you know? If you've ever seen a river from far away, you might mistake it for a long, twisting snake. Or maybe a dragon.
（ he prefers creatures associated with water, by and large. the element is innate to him in a way little else feels to be. ）
But with these ones it was literal. They were sentient, but their style of communicating was like nothing I'd ever encountered. It was like... empathy, almost. They communicated with colour shifts in their scales, but... if you touched one, you could feel its emotions like a colour. Blue for water, for tranquillity. Yellow for warmth and joy. That sort of thing. The colours would bleed together to impart more complex emotions. But it wasn't... ah, it wasn't distinct. Their colours would change when encountering yours. Like sadness was a dull grey, like a bleak sea — but if you touched one of the little ones when it was happy, you'd borrow from each other. That's how their communities helped each other. If enough of them touched you, bad emotions would dilute until everyone carried just a little, and the burden was lessened.
They had these vast, underground caverns where they lived, but they'd come up on the land to sunbathe and play. They'd lay eggs in the sand, and they'd incubate for centuries until they hatched. I showed up during one of their seasonal beach vacations. The little ones just sort of came up and rubbed all over me — green was curiosity, by the way — and they tried to get me to play. The oldest dragon is called, ah... 'She Who Encircles The World As If It Were A Living Pearl', I think that's how it would translate. She's massive, couldn't even begin to fit on the beach, and she displaced enough water to raise the shoreline by fifteen, twenty meters. I'm not entirely sure that the tidal phases on that planet weren't just caused by her — we're talking miles, and miles long. But once she heard that there was some weird dude on two legs hanging out, she wanted to talk to me. She rested her head on the beach and sort of burrowed into it until I could see her eyes if I was standing. Her ability to communicate was more advanced than the younger ones. It was almost like talking.
（ he remembers the way her scales had glittered, flickering like something electric, colours he'd never seen before or since, that have no name he knows. how the sheer scale of her had seemed so alien. impossible. illogical. what did she eat to survive? and what the hell had she eaten to get to that size in the first place? then again, he doesn't need food or water or air to live either — so perhaps it's not so singular as all that. ）
I'd never met anyone older than me up until then, save the other gods. It was humbling. And every time I felt... any time I was scared, or overwhelmed, or hurt, or angry she'd just — rub against me, or lick me, or give me a nudge — I literally cannot overstate how massive she was, by the way, so this would've been hilarious to witness — until she'd blotted out what I was feeling with these mellow blues or soft yellows or pink or orange. Orange was love, you know?
（ he doesn't remember the name sasuke had given him, of the boy he'd loved. but he does remember the colour. ）
She's still alive, Pearl. I go back every once in a while. I got to see one of their broods hatch, all these tiny, newborn dragons aglow with one of two emotions: hunger or play. I'd play music for them on the beach and they'd turn into a glittering fuchsia wave as they listened, rapt. They had music too, but it was different. Underwater, sounds like singing. They'd pick their caverns based on how much they liked the acoustics.
（ there's a bit of a laugh, then: ）
Pearl let me ride her exactly once. It barely felt like moving — she told me I felt like some sort of sea louse squirming around on her back, which is almost the worst thing I've ever been called. It's one of the only worlds I've been to where there's no war, no conflict that isn't just animals needing to eat. It's another place I'd love to take you one day.
[He's attentive as he listens — completely entranced, Cy's words playing out clear and distinct pictures in his mind, dragons of various sizes formed of water with colorful scales. Pink and blue and yellow and orange. He can hardly stretch his own imagination so far, but the empathetic element fascinates him to a degree that he wonders how it would feel, what it would be like to interact with, how the dragons learn the complexity of such emotion over time... And Pearl, of course, in her immense antiquity. That captivates him to an indescribable measure.
By the end of it Sasuke is half-sitting upright on his bent elbow, expression open, rapt with an almost childlike wonder that shows his age more than the typical frowns and furrowed brows.]
They sound incredible. [Low, awed.] I'd be honored to meet them.
[If he could see all of the places, meet all of the people Cy has known who still live — it might be enough.]
Orange was love... [Of course, his mind drifts to Naruto. He can't help it.] Then what was red?
By the end of it Sasuke is half-sitting upright on his bent elbow, expression open, rapt with an almost childlike wonder that shows his age more than the typical frowns and furrowed brows.]
They sound incredible. [Low, awed.] I'd be honored to meet them.
[If he could see all of the places, meet all of the people Cy has known who still live — it might be enough.]
Orange was love... [Of course, his mind drifts to Naruto. He can't help it.] Then what was red?
Passion. Wonder. Sunset. Summer.
（ a pause. then: ）
Jellyfish. There was this school of red jellyfish that would sting them defensively if the little ones got too close, so they learned early to avoid them. The first time I tried to go into the water they crowded around me and turned red, trying to warn me. I'm pretty sure they looked at me the way humans see dogs, honestly.
（ 'our canine child with opposable thumbs cannot be left on his own because he will eat chocolate and run into traffic' vibes, tbqh. ）
Black was... tired, night, a different sort of calm than blue. It was more like the deepest part of the ocean, where no light penetrates. The calm of something empty, but not lonely.
（ the only emotion that wasn't distinct, wasn't clearly etched out was hatred. hatred was a kaleidoscope, and none of them but pearl knew what it was. she'd asked him not to share that emotion with the little ones, and so he hadn't. but he did wonder, then, why she'd come to learn it once upon a time. ）
（ a pause. then: ）
Jellyfish. There was this school of red jellyfish that would sting them defensively if the little ones got too close, so they learned early to avoid them. The first time I tried to go into the water they crowded around me and turned red, trying to warn me. I'm pretty sure they looked at me the way humans see dogs, honestly.
（ 'our canine child with opposable thumbs cannot be left on his own because he will eat chocolate and run into traffic' vibes, tbqh. ）
Black was... tired, night, a different sort of calm than blue. It was more like the deepest part of the ocean, where no light penetrates. The calm of something empty, but not lonely.
（ the only emotion that wasn't distinct, wasn't clearly etched out was hatred. hatred was a kaleidoscope, and none of them but pearl knew what it was. she'd asked him not to share that emotion with the little ones, and so he hadn't. but he did wonder, then, why she'd come to learn it once upon a time. ）
Edited 2024-07-19 03:44 (UTC)
[The young, awed look on his face dims to something softer, and Cy's remark about the dogs coaxes a huff of laughter.]
That's cute. I suppose they still had the best intentions in mind, even if they might view us differently. More limited in the way we communicate.
[Sasuke props his chin on his hand, braced in that half-raised position.]
Sometimes I thought I've felt that before, during battle... another person's emotions. But, I think it was only my own, projected back to me. [He hums, thoughtful. 'Empty but not lonely' — it's a sentiment he finds hard to envision, perhaps because he's never felt one without the other.] You're more of a cat than a dog.
That's cute. I suppose they still had the best intentions in mind, even if they might view us differently. More limited in the way we communicate.
[Sasuke props his chin on his hand, braced in that half-raised position.]
Sometimes I thought I've felt that before, during battle... another person's emotions. But, I think it was only my own, projected back to me. [He hums, thoughtful. 'Empty but not lonely' — it's a sentiment he finds hard to envision, perhaps because he's never felt one without the other.] You're more of a cat than a dog.
Hmm, you think so?
（ mischievously — albeit mindfully of his various little hurts — cy shifts their positions, pressing sasuke down into the mattress as he straddles his hips. he pulls the blanket over them like a veil of night and leans down, rearranging himself until he can steal a kiss. the drape of his body along sasuke's is careful, weight kept off any of the places he may be especially sore, but not — shying away from the contact, either. arms cross on sasuke's chest, forearms braced just below his clavicles as he urges sasuke's thighs apart so he can lay bonelessly between them. ）
'A man sees his reflection three times in life. In his enemies, in his blade, in his children.' It's possible that both things were true — that you felt something akin to what they were feeling, and you fed into each other's emotions.
（ one hand shakes free of his repose, and brushes sasuke's hair back from his forehead. it's longer now, and he finds himself wondering if he should offer to cut it, or leave well enough alone. ）
What do you think I'm feeling?
（ mischievously — albeit mindfully of his various little hurts — cy shifts their positions, pressing sasuke down into the mattress as he straddles his hips. he pulls the blanket over them like a veil of night and leans down, rearranging himself until he can steal a kiss. the drape of his body along sasuke's is careful, weight kept off any of the places he may be especially sore, but not — shying away from the contact, either. arms cross on sasuke's chest, forearms braced just below his clavicles as he urges sasuke's thighs apart so he can lay bonelessly between them. ）
'A man sees his reflection three times in life. In his enemies, in his blade, in his children.' It's possible that both things were true — that you felt something akin to what they were feeling, and you fed into each other's emotions.
（ one hand shakes free of his repose, and brushes sasuke's hair back from his forehead. it's longer now, and he finds himself wondering if he should offer to cut it, or leave well enough alone. ）
What do you think I'm feeling?
[He goes along with it, tipping onto his back and splaying his legs to cradle the warm weight of Cy's body between them, awash in the easy affection and intimacy of the conversation. There is no tomorrow, no yesterday — he is singularly focused on this moment. The adoring way he looks at Cy attests to it, a soft openness he has gone most of his life unable to express.]
Then I've seen my reflection twice. [In his opponents and in his blade.] Only one left.
[It's not hard to ignore the places where he's sore and aching when Cy is in front of him. That touch sweeps damp hair off his brow, revealing both eyes, one dark and one pale.]
... Orange. [He has to think back to the ones Cy had mentioned, mouth twitching playfully.] Yellow. Blue, perhaps some red. [His right hand lifts, settling at the back of Cy's neck.] Hm. I feel purple, but I don't know what that one means.
Then I've seen my reflection twice. [In his opponents and in his blade.] Only one left.
[It's not hard to ignore the places where he's sore and aching when Cy is in front of him. That touch sweeps damp hair off his brow, revealing both eyes, one dark and one pale.]
... Orange. [He has to think back to the ones Cy had mentioned, mouth twitching playfully.] Yellow. Blue, perhaps some red. [His right hand lifts, settling at the back of Cy's neck.] Hm. I feel purple, but I don't know what that one means.
Horny.
（ 'duh'.
but it's true, that even with the strenuous taxation of the scene that it hasn't dimmed his desire. it isn't even lust, really, it's just the desire to be playful and close, to exist in the warmth and intimacy and love of casual nudity and touch. ）
No — purple was somewhere between the tranquillity of blue and the passion of red. Contentment. Safety. Belonging.
（ he nuzzles at sasuke's jaw, pressing open-mouthed kisses against the pale column of his throat. which reminds him, actually — ）
Do you feel like you're ready to wear a day collar? One of the subtle ones, so no one would necessarily know what it signified unless you told them.
（ 'duh'.
but it's true, that even with the strenuous taxation of the scene that it hasn't dimmed his desire. it isn't even lust, really, it's just the desire to be playful and close, to exist in the warmth and intimacy and love of casual nudity and touch. ）
No — purple was somewhere between the tranquillity of blue and the passion of red. Contentment. Safety. Belonging.
（ he nuzzles at sasuke's jaw, pressing open-mouthed kisses against the pale column of his throat. which reminds him, actually — ）
Do you feel like you're ready to wear a day collar? One of the subtle ones, so no one would necessarily know what it signified unless you told them.
[He scoffs — an effect lost by the smile Cy manages to pull out of him with that joke. Smiles come easier around this man.]
I would've believed the first one if you hadn't told me. [The nuzzling coaxes him to lift his chin, supplying Cy's lips better access to his throat.] The day collar is like jewelry, isn't it?
[At least, as he understands; he hasn't seen too many with his own eyes beyond a few shop displays. A shift of legs draws them a little more snug around Cy's hips.]
... I'd consider it. I don't think it's something that makes sense concealing at this point — our relationship. Though, I wouldn't feel comfortable announcing it to a stranger. [Cy already knows his tendency toward modesty in that realm.] Do you want me to?
I would've believed the first one if you hadn't told me. [The nuzzling coaxes him to lift his chin, supplying Cy's lips better access to his throat.] The day collar is like jewelry, isn't it?
[At least, as he understands; he hasn't seen too many with his own eyes beyond a few shop displays. A shift of legs draws them a little more snug around Cy's hips.]
... I'd consider it. I don't think it's something that makes sense concealing at this point — our relationship. Though, I wouldn't feel comfortable announcing it to a stranger. [Cy already knows his tendency toward modesty in that realm.] Do you want me to?
( he braces one arm beside sasuke's head so he can look at him properly. mismatched eyes so beautiful in the low light, expression soft. sasuke is rarely guarded around him now — another gift. )
Yes. ( it's quiet, but earnest. ) I'd love to see a symbol of our bond any time I looked at you. But only if you were comfortable with it, only if you wanted it.
Yes. ( it's quiet, but earnest. ) I'd love to see a symbol of our bond any time I looked at you. But only if you were comfortable with it, only if you wanted it.
[A little shy, his gaze slides away, though it comes back — studying Cy through a screen of lashes. Don't read his thoughts and perceive his engagement plans.]
I'd like that too. What sort of day collar would you pick out? I don't know much about them, or how they would look.
[But if it feels anything like wearing the collar for Cy, then he knows it will be worth it.]
I'd like that too. What sort of day collar would you pick out? I don't know much about them, or how they would look.
[But if it feels anything like wearing the collar for Cy, then he knows it will be worth it.]
Edited 2024-07-19 05:04 (UTC)
They're usually pretty simple.
（ one finger traces the line of sasuke's collarbone from his shoulder towards his midline, dipping in against the suprasternal notch. ）
Normal ones sit about here. They usually have a little circle or something that's a callback to a collar, but frankly I don't care about what's 'standard' — we could design our own thing if we wanted, or create some new tradition. But purple looks good on you, so I'd probably go with something in that tone range.
（ one finger traces the line of sasuke's collarbone from his shoulder towards his midline, dipping in against the suprasternal notch. ）
Normal ones sit about here. They usually have a little circle or something that's a callback to a collar, but frankly I don't care about what's 'standard' — we could design our own thing if we wanted, or create some new tradition. But purple looks good on you, so I'd probably go with something in that tone range.
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