For Sasuke, that has been—his parents. Dead, now, pale ghosts of a life buried and left behind, of a childhood barely lived. His teammates—but even that Sasuke isn't certain. Did he love Kakashi and Sakura? Or Team Taka, Suigetsu and Karin and Jugo? It feels muddied in his mind; reaching for the memory of those people, there's only a strange and muted numbness, extended back into a deep well of regret. He tried to kill Kakashi and Sakura. He tried to kill Karin. Suigetsu and Jugo were only battlefield tools, and he never allowed them close to his body or his mind. And Naruto—yes, he knows it now. That he loved Naruto. But he had tried to kill him too, over and over and over.
Itachi. He loved his brother, but he also hated his brother. And he killed him.
There's a slow closing-off as Sasuke lies there beside the man, the god, who feels almost untouchable in that moment for their differences. An insignificant slip of a life like a ripple in a vast ocean. Knowing how these dimensions work, how long would he even have with Cy? It could be days. Weeks. Months, if there is some fortune. But not years. So how much can Cy really do? And why would Sasuke let him do that? All of that love to give, it would be wasted on someone like him.
Alone. It is empty, but that emptiness is what keeps him safe. From loving people. From hurting people.
Quietly he rolls over to face the other way, the vulnerability of lying there without clothes setting in like he's just noticed it.]
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For Sasuke, that has been—his parents. Dead, now, pale ghosts of a life buried and left behind, of a childhood barely lived. His teammates—but even that Sasuke isn't certain. Did he love Kakashi and Sakura? Or Team Taka, Suigetsu and Karin and Jugo? It feels muddied in his mind; reaching for the memory of those people, there's only a strange and muted numbness, extended back into a deep well of regret. He tried to kill Kakashi and Sakura. He tried to kill Karin. Suigetsu and Jugo were only battlefield tools, and he never allowed them close to his body or his mind. And Naruto—yes, he knows it now. That he loved Naruto. But he had tried to kill him too, over and over and over.
Itachi. He loved his brother, but he also hated his brother. And he killed him.
There's a slow closing-off as Sasuke lies there beside the man, the god, who feels almost untouchable in that moment for their differences. An insignificant slip of a life like a ripple in a vast ocean. Knowing how these dimensions work, how long would he even have with Cy? It could be days. Weeks. Months, if there is some fortune. But not years. So how much can Cy really do? And why would Sasuke let him do that? All of that love to give, it would be wasted on someone like him.
Alone. It is empty, but that emptiness is what keeps him safe. From loving people. From hurting people.
Quietly he rolls over to face the other way, the vulnerability of lying there without clothes setting in like he's just noticed it.]
I want to be alone.