[Privately, he's grateful to bury his face against the warm cradle of Cy's sternum and simply â listen, absorbing the words in a quiet period of attentiveness, because it's impossible to remain neutral upon hearing them.
That drive toward procreation has felt more like a heavy pressure over his head, dread interwoven with duty more than desire for children. Yet it's not wholly true. As Cy speaks, he sees the other side of it. The way a child would bond together two people. The ownership in knowing that someone else carries a part of you, knowing that you've created a human life together. I'm going to look after them â and Sasuke feels volatile emotion in him ride high, threatening the burn of tears because he has not truly imagined reproduction from the perspective of a relationship with another person in that give-take of connection, belonging. A family.
He may know why, now, lying in bed with a man's arms around him.
Yet does that explain the physical attraction? The 'kink' aspect of reproduction? As Cy goes on, Sasuke tries to frame it in a sexual way â and the possession feels closest to the truth, though it may be more than that. He doesn't know if he would experience it the same with a partner who wasn't Cy. If he'd want someone else to say what Cy has said to him.]
I'm with you. [In a quiet, breathy voice.] I see the appeal. Having children with a person you care for, [a halting pause,] changes the experience. I'd accepted that it may not be possible for me in my own world, due to my circumstances. But... [Sasuke's teeth pinch an inner cheek, and all at once he backs away from where that thought had taken him â for how perilously it threatens to expose the depth of what he feels for Cy.]
There may be an element of humiliation. [Hopefully Cy will not notice the abrupt turn-about.] I've noticed that between us, and my own response to it. However, I'm not imagining that I am... a woman. It seems more related to that feeling of ownership, as you mentioned.
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Date: 2024-03-05 02:37 am (UTC)That drive toward procreation has felt more like a heavy pressure over his head, dread interwoven with duty more than desire for children. Yet it's not wholly true. As Cy speaks, he sees the other side of it. The way a child would bond together two people. The ownership in knowing that someone else carries a part of you, knowing that you've created a human life together. I'm going to look after them â and Sasuke feels volatile emotion in him ride high, threatening the burn of tears because he has not truly imagined reproduction from the perspective of a relationship with another person in that give-take of connection, belonging. A family.
He may know why, now, lying in bed with a man's arms around him.
Yet does that explain the physical attraction? The 'kink' aspect of reproduction? As Cy goes on, Sasuke tries to frame it in a sexual way â and the possession feels closest to the truth, though it may be more than that. He doesn't know if he would experience it the same with a partner who wasn't Cy. If he'd want someone else to say what Cy has said to him.]
I'm with you. [In a quiet, breathy voice.] I see the appeal. Having children with a person you care for, [a halting pause,] changes the experience. I'd accepted that it may not be possible for me in my own world, due to my circumstances. But... [Sasuke's teeth pinch an inner cheek, and all at once he backs away from where that thought had taken him â for how perilously it threatens to expose the depth of what he feels for Cy.]
There may be an element of humiliation. [Hopefully Cy will not notice the abrupt turn-about.] I've noticed that between us, and my own response to it. However, I'm not imagining that I am... a woman. It seems more related to that feeling of ownership, as you mentioned.