[The world careens out of his awareness to the bright, tinny noise in his ears, fear slurring senses and making everything feel unreal. His heart pounds dully, his hands sweat, his chest is tight. He knows all of these symptoms because he has felt them before — frequently in childhood and later only when he knew he was alone, when no one was watching.
Cy's voice comes through to him, and for a moment he doesn't know what the words mean. Then it centers; the practice, like coming down from a great height, begins to slow his pulse. Square breathing. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. He is aware of the blanket around his shoulders, and he reaches up to grasp it, pulling it like a shield, fumbling until he discovers where Cy has placed his hand and then trying to hold onto him through the fabric.
It takes time, but eventually — the panic recedes. But the emotion is still there, waiting for him, lurking like some monster under the floor. His voice drags out of his throat, threadbare.]
i mean. i guess i can put that on the list.
Cy's voice comes through to him, and for a moment he doesn't know what the words mean. Then it centers; the practice, like coming down from a great height, begins to slow his pulse. Square breathing. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. He is aware of the blanket around his shoulders, and he reaches up to grasp it, pulling it like a shield, fumbling until he discovers where Cy has placed his hand and then trying to hold onto him through the fabric.
It takes time, but eventually — the panic recedes. But the emotion is still there, waiting for him, lurking like some monster under the floor. His voice drags out of his throat, threadbare.]
I can't lose you too.