Sex and sparring have a lot in common. They're both dialects of the same language.
īŧ he laces their hands, and lifts both up demonstrably. then he disentangles them and makes a fist to bump gently against sasuke's knuckles. īŧ
In sparring, you can express anger, loss, confidence, warmth, playfulness, solemnity, exhaustion, affection. Same thing in sex. As for the feelings... ah. Knives, but I've got you. Mind your breathing.
īŧ he captures sasuke's hand anew, and then brings it close so he can bite thoughtfully at one of his knuckles like a dog worrying at a toy. īŧ
If you look at the bond between two people as... give and take, ebb and flow... then emotions are something you pour into other people. It can be used to nourish them. It can be used to deepen a bond. It can be used to excise something from yourself. But what's important is the balance. I told you that sex isn't transactional because it isn't. Emotional resonance isn't transactional either — people need different things from others, and give different things from themselves. But if you can't stand somewhere close to equal with what's given, what's taken, it causes problems down the line. You give me a piece of cake and I give you a bag of chips — they're different things, but they are meeting a need we both have in giving and accepting and eating, you know? And they both express that we've been present, that we've paid attention, been mindful of each other. You took the bacon off that sandwich. I remembered you liked tomatoes.
īŧ a lot of people understand what dominance and submission are. they think that it creates an innate power imbalance that is held to viciously, ruthlessly. that one person is subjugated, and one the subjugator.
but the truth is, at its core, about exchange. about equality. and more than anything else, it's about trust. īŧ
You're not accustomed to connection. So your ability to regulate what you pour into others is lower than it would be with someone who's had more practice. But... if you want to talk in terms of metaphors, when you're with me, the vessel you're filling has higher capacity than most people. So you feel comfortable because I can take more, and I feel good because that expression of trust and intimacy, that demonstration of the ways you feel safe and how that safety expresses itself means a lot to me. It's normal to tip over into extreme emotion when you find someone that can take all of you unflinching. Especially since so much of your life has been lived lonely. But I told you I'd protect what you give me, and I meant it. The more you feel safe, the more the walls come down, and you've got a lot pent up. Here — īŧ his free hand squirms free from wherever it was pinned in the tangle of their bodies, and he taps against sasuke's chest, over the heart. īŧ and here. īŧ similarly, there's a soft little bonk against his forehead. īŧ So sometimes it's a flood. And that's okay. Notice how every time you feel these emotions, or you have these reactions, it gets easier? Less intense to stand? And how you're able to regulate a little more efficiently each time, right? That's because you're doing the work. It's not me, sweetheart. It's you, learning and growing and changing, developing ways to accept and understand and move forward from yourself.
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Date: 2024-03-08 06:59 pm (UTC)īŧ he laces their hands, and lifts both up demonstrably. then he disentangles them and makes a fist to bump gently against sasuke's knuckles. īŧ
In sparring, you can express anger, loss, confidence, warmth, playfulness, solemnity, exhaustion, affection. Same thing in sex. As for the feelings... ah. Knives, but I've got you. Mind your breathing.
īŧ he captures sasuke's hand anew, and then brings it close so he can bite thoughtfully at one of his knuckles like a dog worrying at a toy. īŧ
If you look at the bond between two people as... give and take, ebb and flow... then emotions are something you pour into other people. It can be used to nourish them. It can be used to deepen a bond. It can be used to excise something from yourself. But what's important is the balance. I told you that sex isn't transactional because it isn't. Emotional resonance isn't transactional either — people need different things from others, and give different things from themselves. But if you can't stand somewhere close to equal with what's given, what's taken, it causes problems down the line. You give me a piece of cake and I give you a bag of chips — they're different things, but they are meeting a need we both have in giving and accepting and eating, you know? And they both express that we've been present, that we've paid attention, been mindful of each other. You took the bacon off that sandwich. I remembered you liked tomatoes.
īŧ a lot of people understand what dominance and submission are. they think that it creates an innate power imbalance that is held to viciously, ruthlessly. that one person is subjugated, and one the subjugator.
but the truth is, at its core, about exchange. about equality. and more than anything else, it's about trust. īŧ
You're not accustomed to connection. So your ability to regulate what you pour into others is lower than it would be with someone who's had more practice. But... if you want to talk in terms of metaphors, when you're with me, the vessel you're filling has higher capacity than most people. So you feel comfortable because I can take more, and I feel good because that expression of trust and intimacy, that demonstration of the ways you feel safe and how that safety expresses itself means a lot to me. It's normal to tip over into extreme emotion when you find someone that can take all of you unflinching. Especially since so much of your life has been lived lonely. But I told you I'd protect what you give me, and I meant it. The more you feel safe, the more the walls come down, and you've got a lot pent up. Here — īŧ his free hand squirms free from wherever it was pinned in the tangle of their bodies, and he taps against sasuke's chest, over the heart. īŧ and here. īŧ similarly, there's a soft little bonk against his forehead. īŧ So sometimes it's a flood. And that's okay. Notice how every time you feel these emotions, or you have these reactions, it gets easier? Less intense to stand? And how you're able to regulate a little more efficiently each time, right? That's because you're doing the work. It's not me, sweetheart. It's you, learning and growing and changing, developing ways to accept and understand and move forward from yourself.