[He has learned so much from Cy so far, that this is — an extension of that. Another lesson. Yet the impact sinks through him, buoyant with significance, laid out between them in what he has come to recognize as a bond. Cy states it so plainly: You took the bacon off that sandwich. I remembered you liked tomatoes. And he sees it, because he has done it before, storied in little ways throughout childhood. When he fed Naruto on the training field. When he would share his belongings with Naruto on missions. And, in return, Naruto gave him companionship, friendship, tethering that first bond with a warmth he hadn't felt since his family was alive. They were able to give each other what they both needed most.
There's an instinct to feel bad, filling up Cy's capacity, but this time he tries to corral it with the knowledge that Cy would not do what he couldn't take, that he also has a need to be met. And perhaps that is the most important point. Could someone else handle him this well? Would they align along those same shattered grooves of need? Would he not make a mess of any other relationship? He's seen the evidence in the history of his own actions. Even Naruto, who understands his heart so well — they've hurt each other. They lash out, and fight, and the difference is they're able to mend the damage after. Naruto's propensity for healing and forgiveness undoes his own explosive tendencies.
With Cy, it's different. It is like a cool, deep pool that surrounds him in its embrace, that takes him under, that unknots the worst tangles before they become bunched, before they ache and blister. Knives. He breathes through the awareness that something in him has shifted; that tap at his chest, then his forehead, coax him forward to bury his face into Cy's throat. Sentiment is vivid but goes unvoiced. It doesn't stop it from beating like a second pulse through his blood.]
You're important to me. [I love you.] If I'm changing, then it's because of you. [I love you.] I think that I was meant to meet you. [I love you so much.]
[He shudders, exhaling slowly, voice reduced to a tired murmur.]
no subject
There's an instinct to feel bad, filling up Cy's capacity, but this time he tries to corral it with the knowledge that Cy would not do what he couldn't take, that he also has a need to be met. And perhaps that is the most important point. Could someone else handle him this well? Would they align along those same shattered grooves of need? Would he not make a mess of any other relationship? He's seen the evidence in the history of his own actions. Even Naruto, who understands his heart so well — they've hurt each other. They lash out, and fight, and the difference is they're able to mend the damage after. Naruto's propensity for healing and forgiveness undoes his own explosive tendencies.
With Cy, it's different. It is like a cool, deep pool that surrounds him in its embrace, that takes him under, that unknots the worst tangles before they become bunched, before they ache and blister. Knives. He breathes through the awareness that something in him has shifted; that tap at his chest, then his forehead, coax him forward to bury his face into Cy's throat. Sentiment is vivid but goes unvoiced. It doesn't stop it from beating like a second pulse through his blood.]
You're important to me. [I love you.] If I'm changing, then it's because of you. [I love you.] I think that I was meant to meet you. [I love you so much.]
[He shudders, exhaling slowly, voice reduced to a tired murmur.]
Thank you for teaching me.