（ cy tilts his head to kiss at sasuke's cheek. more accustomed to handling the intensity of such emotions, it doesn't quite overwhelm him — it's more like standing in a familiar, sheltered cove, sinking into well-loved water. it's something calm and blessed as a boon. sasuke's journey from self-denial and fear to this gentle place, offering love without apprehension of denial or betrayal or hurt is worth more than anything else to him, and cy's hold on him tightens briefly in acknowledgement. ）
I won't say it's not hard. （ he doesn't mind admitting to the vulnerability. sasuke is already aware of it, after all — and the communication is more important than his pride. ） I'd never raise a hand to you in any other context, ever. （ sasuke is aware of that. it's more for himself that he says it, some fractured form of self-soothing that reinforces the discipline that it requires. ） But knowing that I can in those moments, seeing the evidence of your enjoyment, and being able to put my hands on you later without fear of you flinching, or seeing terror in your expression... （ there's another soft kiss pressed against sasuke's shoulder ） having you reach for me is a gift.
（ mirroring sasuke's gesture, he butts his cheek against the crown of the boy's hair as he straightens and resumes the cleaning of his hair. in theory, he could reduce the work by asking sasuke to change back to male — but he made his hair in this form dirty and tangled, and he wants to make it right properly, not by taking such a shortcut. ）
And thank you, for saying the right thing when I hesitated. I had a bit of a fistfight with old demons, but — you got me through it.
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I won't say it's not hard. （ he doesn't mind admitting to the vulnerability. sasuke is already aware of it, after all — and the communication is more important than his pride. ） I'd never raise a hand to you in any other context, ever. （ sasuke is aware of that. it's more for himself that he says it, some fractured form of self-soothing that reinforces the discipline that it requires. ） But knowing that I can in those moments, seeing the evidence of your enjoyment, and being able to put my hands on you later without fear of you flinching, or seeing terror in your expression... （ there's another soft kiss pressed against sasuke's shoulder ） having you reach for me is a gift.
（ mirroring sasuke's gesture, he butts his cheek against the crown of the boy's hair as he straightens and resumes the cleaning of his hair. in theory, he could reduce the work by asking sasuke to change back to male — but he made his hair in this form dirty and tangled, and he wants to make it right properly, not by taking such a shortcut. ）
And thank you, for saying the right thing when I hesitated. I had a bit of a fistfight with old demons, but — you got me through it.