you're not the only handsome weirdly powerful endearingly charming miscreant in this relationship with an nebulously healthy desire to learn everything about their betrothed you know.
anything you want to tell me, i want to know. period. au-delà du temps.
Naruto and I grew up... not together, but we were alone in the village at the same age. He'd always been on his own because he'd never known his parents — they both died when he was born. I noticed him more once my own family was gone. He was always starting trouble for attention, which annoyed me because I didn't understand it. I thought he was childish and immature.
We had more in common than I realized back then, especially our drive to become stronger. He was my rival when I was young. Every time I did something well, he had to do it better in order to beat me. That competition was... almost enjoyable at the time, because it gave me focus. It was a concrete way to measure my improvement. And he made me feel like I did when my family was still alive.
I don't know if I told you before, but he was the one I wanted to kill. Well, there were others. But he felt the most personal to me apart from my brother, and the man who used my brother. I first tried to kill Naruto when I was thirteen and failed. That was when I left the village.
（ he wishes, abruptly, that he'd thought to ask this in person. it's a lot to take in, and he reads in solemn silence, trying to give the words the weight that they deserve. but he knows even as he does that parts of this story will not stay with him, that things will slip away like the pool of water in cupped hands, draining like a sieve until it's excised from his mind as cleanly as a surgical cut.
perhaps, then, it's almost better that it's text. he can come back to this later in review, and at least — try.
at length — ）
Thank you for telling me. I'll try to remember as much as I can.
You said you failed. That makes it sound like you lost the fight — but that wasn't it, was it?
It's okay. It helps to say it. I've never told anyone else.
[He's done things. For so long, he's done so much he regrets — and so many people in the world are aware of those actions. But he's never spoken them aloud, to someone else, willingly. And he does not trust another person as much as he trusts Cy to hear it.]
The first time, no. I won. But I couldn't do it.
So I tried again later — when I was older and more powerful. And I lost. I think I would have done it then, if I'd succeeded.
I'm not even going to say I don't think you wouldn't have. I know that was a difficult time for you, and grief wears many masks — of which anger can be one. It isn't necessarily rational, and it wouldn't be fair of me to impose a choice on you that you might not have been even able to make.
But I do think that if you'd followed through with it, you would have regretted it the rest of your life.
I'm glad that outcome isn't something you had to carry.
[The subject causes him to lapse into contemplative quiet — curling a little closer to the makeshift nest of eggs on the bed with him in the absence of Cy's presence.]
( in answer — he simply appears in their shared space, putting the bag down on the bed and cleaning into sasuke's space, arms around him, folding him close. kissing the crown of his hair with a gentle touch. )
[He's there to embrace Cy, pulling the man down on top of him with care to ensure they don't disrupt the nest.]
Fine. I finished turning them all. [He tilts his head up, trying to find Cy's mouth with his own. Hello, kisses please? You made him wait forever?] I missed you.
（ he straddles sasuke's hips easily, kissing him soundly before he straightens up to look down at him with nothing else so much as love. then he reaches for the bag and pulls one of the onigiri out of it, unwrapping it with a deft flick of his wrist so he can hold it near enough that sasuke can take a bite. ）
I missed you too.
（ there's a playful little roll of his hips, suggestive without expectation. ）
Yes. That subject... I got a little into my own head while we were discussing it. But I feel all right now.
[It's remarkable how much Cy's presence improves his mood. Once that might have made him feel uneasy, but right now he simply lifts his chin to take a bite, obedient to the gentle hand-feeding. His jaw works to chew thoroughly before he swallows.]
[He hadn't bothered to get dressed today, so the hand on his belly feels especially warm with skin contact — he arches a little to luxuriate in the sensation of Cy on top of him.]
（ he pets him, hand drifting downward, finding sasuke's cock with an idle stroke that gently pulls the foreskin down. ）
I want you to fuck me next to our eggs. （ it's his turn to take a bite of the onigiri, before pressing the rest into sasuke's hand. ） Get all filthy about knocking me up for a change. You game?
（ the praise is warm, punctuated with an affectionate little nudge. ）
I think I could stand it if it was done as an act of service for someone I love. Chosen willingly, not — imposed on me. I'd be down to try, at least. If it's not great for my brain, we could tap out of the genjutsu with no harm done, yeah?
Yes. At least in genjutsu, you'll be able to sense that it's an illusion. It won't feel real in the same way. And it can end at any time. We might not have the same control otherwise.
[Finishing off his food, he licks his thumb to clean a speck of sticky rice, eyes still fastened onto Cy with full attention.]
You can also decide how you'll appear. I don't want to make that decision for you.
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anything you want to tell me, i want to know. period. au-delà du temps.
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Naruto and I grew up... not together, but we were alone in the village at the same age. He'd always been on his own because he'd never known his parents — they both died when he was born. I noticed him more once my own family was gone. He was always starting trouble for attention, which annoyed me because I didn't understand it. I thought he was childish and immature.
We had more in common than I realized back then, especially our drive to become stronger. He was my rival when I was young. Every time I did something well, he had to do it better in order to beat me. That competition was... almost enjoyable at the time, because it gave me focus. It was a concrete way to measure my improvement. And he made me feel like I did when my family was still alive.
I don't know if I told you before, but he was the one I wanted to kill. Well, there were others. But he felt the most personal to me apart from my brother, and the man who used my brother. I first tried to kill Naruto when I was thirteen and failed. That was when I left the village.
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perhaps, then, it's almost better that it's text. he can come back to this later in review, and at least — try.
at length — ）
Thank you for telling me. I'll try to remember as much as I can.
You said you failed. That makes it sound like you lost the fight — but that wasn't it, was it?
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[He's done things. For so long, he's done so much he regrets — and so many people in the world are aware of those actions. But he's never spoken them aloud, to someone else, willingly. And he does not trust another person as much as he trusts Cy to hear it.]
The first time, no. I won. But I couldn't do it.
So I tried again later — when I was older and more powerful. And I lost. I think I would have done it then, if I'd succeeded.
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... But, of course.
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I'm not even going to say I don't think you wouldn't have. I know that was a difficult time for you, and grief wears many masks — of which anger can be one. It isn't necessarily rational, and it wouldn't be fair of me to impose a choice on you that you might not have been even able to make.
But I do think that if you'd followed through with it, you would have regretted it the rest of your life.
I'm glad that outcome isn't something you had to carry.
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[The subject causes him to lapse into contemplative quiet — curling a little closer to the makeshift nest of eggs on the bed with him in the absence of Cy's presence.]
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How're the kids?
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Fine. I finished turning them all. [He tilts his head up, trying to find Cy's mouth with his own. Hello, kisses please? You made him wait forever?] I missed you.
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I missed you too.
（ there's a playful little roll of his hips, suggestive without expectation. ）
You okay?
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[It's remarkable how much Cy's presence improves his mood. Once that might have made him feel uneasy, but right now he simply lifts his chin to take a bite, obedient to the gentle hand-feeding. His jaw works to chew thoroughly before he swallows.]
My onigiri is better.
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（ his free hand strokes down sasuke's chest, palm settling flat over his belly. ）
It absolutely is. But this will work in a pinch if I want you to keep your energy up so we can get all frisky.
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[He hadn't bothered to get dressed today, so the hand on his belly feels especially warm with skin contact — he arches a little to luxuriate in the sensation of Cy on top of him.]
Getting 'frisky'?
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（ he pets him, hand drifting downward, finding sasuke's cock with an idle stroke that gently pulls the foreskin down. ）
I want you to fuck me next to our eggs. （ it's his turn to take a bite of the onigiri, before pressing the rest into sasuke's hand. ） Get all filthy about knocking me up for a change. You game?
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When you say it like that, how could I refuse?
[Time to eat this onigiri as fast as possible without choking on rice.]
Hm... I've never had sex with a woman. But if I did, I'd want it to be you.
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I still wouldn't be a woman. Just borrowing the anatomy for a spell.
( then, thoughtfully — )
We could do it in genjutsu, if you wanted the 'real' thing.
( airquote life!! )
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[Nailed it(?).]
Would you want to? It's a physical change.
[From what Cy has told him, and what he recalls of that experience with animalistic features, it isn't necessarily good for Cy.]
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（ the praise is warm, punctuated with an affectionate little nudge. ）
I think I could stand it if it was done as an act of service for someone I love. Chosen willingly, not — imposed on me. I'd be down to try, at least. If it's not great for my brain, we could tap out of the genjutsu with no harm done, yeah?
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[Finishing off his food, he licks his thumb to clean a speck of sticky rice, eyes still fastened onto Cy with full attention.]
You can also decide how you'll appear. I don't want to make that decision for you.
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（ the reassurance is cute, though. 🥺🥺🥺 and earns sasuke a playful kiss to the bridge of his nose before cy continues: ）
I gotta know about the titties. Are we talkin' like, modest handful or big ol' melons?
（ why does he ever talk. ）
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I... don't know? What do you prefer?
[???????]
Um. You like them larger, don't you?
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ftb...