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Jan. 4th, 2024 07:28 am
hallowing: (Default)
[personal profile] hallowing
@torontonian
β–Ά TEXT

β–Ά AUDIO

β–Ά VIDEO

β–Ά ACTION

Date: 2024-01-15 05:34 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15106071)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[Oh my god he was feeling confident because he was ALONE.

Sasuke's heartrate spikes, but all he does it turn back partially on his side, eyes flying open to take survey of his room as if Cy has already appeared.]


...

[He's allowed to say no. But he doesn't want to. Should he pull the blanket back up? At least it isn't bright in his room; only one light is on, dim gold on his bare skin, casting shadows into corners.]

It's fine.

Date: 2024-01-15 05:38 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15621033)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[Gritting teeth. Stupid rules.]

Yes.

[But he has, in a moment of weakness, indeed pulled the blanket up to cover his lower half. 🀑]

Date: 2024-01-15 05:49 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15621105)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[Having Cy in his room is a lot, at first, not only for his height but for his presence. Looming and calm and quiet. The bed sinks slightly with the additional weight, but not by much because the mattress itself is so thin. Sasuke's eyes peer over from beneath a fringe of hair, uncertain. The dildo is still inside of him; it feels heavy, slippery but for the grip of his lower body clenched around it with tension, arousal now slanted into murky waters.

They've been close before, but not really like this. Silently he offers his hand outβ€”a little tacky still with lube, which causes him to hesitate.]

Date: 2024-01-15 06:10 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#16168030)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[He's surprised how it feels to be touched in that moment. Unexpectedly there's relief, and his body releases some part of the tension it was holding, feeling the toy slip out of him but ignoring it. He shifts more deliberately to face Cy on that narrow bedβ€”the touch continues, not denied, moving up his arm.

It's a strange realization to have then. No one has touched him like this, with the hands ofβ€”what? Almost like a lover would touch, or as he imagines one might because he wouldn't know, with that slow and thorough rub across tight tendons. It's not intimacy like a kiss, or a hug, or even an orgasm. It's a warm, cradling pool.

Sasuke's eyes skate away, wherever isn't Cy's face.]


I don't need any looking after. I was fine.

[I thought I was. He did, sincerely. The pain wasn't even that bad compared to injuries he's suffered.]

Why did we stop?

the emotional whiplash in this thread

Date: 2024-01-15 06:32 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15621031)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[He's quiet for a while, letting Cy work up his arm.]

It's not fine, then. [As if to be contraryβ€”but it's for a purpose.] I don't know how all of your rules work, but I can see that my reaction wasn't expected. We didn't discuss it first. Most of the new things I've learned in my life have been through pain, so it didn't surprise me to find it here. But if you want to do it differently, I don't mind that.

[Sometimes he can sound like a grown ass adult and not an eighteen-year-old. Very gently, Sasuke nudges his head under the man's chin. His breath fans skin.]

I'll look after you too.

Date: 2024-01-15 06:54 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15621090)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[The solitude, on the other hand, is how Sasuke feels he was able to do it. Having a witness to experiencing painβ€”he doesn't know what that would be like. Cy's emphasis on communication comes to mind here, as clear-headed as he's feeling.]

I want to try. [He's no fucking quitter.] But I can't promise how I'll respond if you're in the room with me. It's fine if I'm doing it to myself, alone.

[The onion layers of trauma continue peeling.]

I've had experiences in the past receiving pain from others. It wasn't always physical, sometimes it was in my head. When it was willing, I did it in order to make myself stronger. ... They aren't positive memories. [no shit] If we do continue now, perhaps it would be better without that element. The room is small and the walls are thin.

[Which sounds weird, but he's honestly considering that he might have a bad reaction and destroy his room. Or scream. #justuchihathings]
Edited Date: 2024-01-15 06:58 am (UTC)

steers them back into horny waters

Date: 2024-01-15 07:20 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15106065)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[Shoulders slumping at the press of that gentle kiss, he shifts back, putting a few inches of space between their bodies on the bed. Breathing room. He becomes more conscious now of Cy beside himβ€”his warmth, his scent, the clothes he's wearing. All of those little things unique to his person. Attraction was there since the beginning and only a fraction from aphrodisiac.

Of course he would be drawn to such a looming, masculine presence, one that reeks of power and temperance and control yet can still wear ugly shirts and kiss so easily. But Sasuke is still surprised by it now.

A small nod.]
Yes.

Date: 2024-01-15 07:05 pm (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15621139)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[He is not a modest person by nature or practice, but that lifestyle has hinged entirely upon a certain perspectiveβ€”that the body is a weapon, a tool, forged to its utmost on the battlefield. Intimacy of the body remains behind doors, between married men and women for the purposes of procreation, and the rest of the shinobi world lives within this sanitized conservation of virtue. To go outside that is an aberration, an embarrassing social blunder at best and an alienating sin at worse, but even under those rules Sasuke has never considered intimacy for himself. He has never seen it practiced. He cannot recall a time his father ever touched his mother with more than a passing hand, there-and-gone. They did not hug or kiss, or at least not in front of him. A pat on the head from his father, Sasuke remembers, would buoy his happiness for a week.

And when the girls who chased him tried to initiate it, he recalls his own reactions to their affectionβ€”a shuddering shut-down, a withdrawal, a settling coldness. After all, how he could let them in when it trespassed on such a foundational lesson of his culture? He didn't exist to be caressed, or kissed, or cradled, because his body could only be shaped by fists and blades and pain, anything that would chisel it into a violent point.

He breathes when Cy eases the toy out of him, feeling the accompanying ache of emptiness where muscle has stretched too soon, a jolt of sharp pain up his spine. Then, obediently, he rolls onto his stomach. And such an action is so natural when he has never let someone this close, behind him, that it's almost terrifying. But Cy's hands are soft and masterful as they work over inexorably tight muscles. And his voice is drawling, almost hypnotic, a cadence he can slip beneath just to listen.

And imagine. The temple takes over his mind, lit by the backdrop of an eternally burning flame. Empty stone. Carved architectural beauty. He envisions Cy there, alone, and it doesn't feel very good despite the peacefulness of solitude described. Like there's something else, some haunting presence overlaid.]


Mon Mahara.

[He's testing the unfamiliar shape of those syllables in his mouth.]

My home is called Konohagakure. A forest, green and alive. Mild winters and humid summers. I had a clanβ€”the Uchiha. [Past particle.] We were old and powerful, and angry. Passionate. Uchiha possess an affinity for the nature of fire. It was one of the most complicated techniques I first learned when I was eight, to create that fire: katon. My father praised me for it.

[Face down, in the dim room beneath Cy's hands, it's easier to be vulnerable even if it's nothing new for a man who has lived millennia to hear. Maybe he's talking more for himself. Sasuke shifts slightly, exhaling.]

That feels good.
Edited (ew repetition) Date: 2024-01-15 07:19 pm (UTC)

Date: 2024-01-15 11:03 pm (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15621119)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[At the whisper, Sasuke makes a noise against the pillow pressed to his face, chuffing breathβ€”as close as he's come to laughter yet. The massage has worked him to a state of gradual ease, body feeling doughy and looser than he can remember.

And yes, the technique is working. His right arm tucks itself under the pillow as he reacts to the sensual temptation of touch, Cy's hands coaxing alive the arousal that had faded in the interim of their conversation. He feels it pool in his belly, collecting like hot syrup; his cock thickens with interest where it lies trapped between the towel and the weight of his own body. Pale thighs tense, a flex of muscle that allows him to rub once against the friction of the bed in an act played off as subtle. Since that first experience of petrification, he's slowly been recovering from deprivation, filling out where the hollowness of lack of food and sleep once sharpened his features to an unhealthy cast.]


You can see for yourself.

[As if it would even take much, with Cy touching him. Anything at all is better than he's ever had.]

Date: 2024-01-16 02:09 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15621116)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[A sigh, but his words remain calm, low-toned, a little playful.] Then I'll have to correct your opinion of me.

[It's like when Cy told him to watchβ€”asking him to comply with an exposure he's not used to, that act of being seen, his own mental state hung still between shame and fear of revealing vulnerability. Weakness. Yet it's easier to trust Cy behind a closed door with the knowledge this won't be used against him. The man has had too many chances to do so by now.

Not that his compliance isn't awkward, shifting to roll onto a side, then his back, gaze slipping away so as not to see himself. His cock, fully aroused in a flush of color, lies almost flat to his abdomen, untouched since the start of this. Thighs part slightly but not far, blocked by Cy's body beside him.]

Date: 2024-01-16 03:19 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#16070693)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[The words, the warm touch of a handβ€”that feels as if he is becoming trained to crave on his skinβ€”the kiss, the endearment. All of these melt into his belly, a fluttering of emotion separate from the burn of attraction or arousal; he finds his face hot, colored to match the pink flush of his cock. Embarrassing. At least the light in the room is low enough to disguise such an adolescent reaction to praise and affection.

Sasuke's throat works through a swallow, pulse beginning to climb. Sweat prickles at the temperature of the room with the two of them in it. His shirt remains hiked up under armpits, and the rhythm of his shortened breaths is visible in the expansion of a pale ribcage.]


Under the bed. [It would be easy to let Cy leave and return. Yet, selfishly, he doesn't like that thought at all. He doesn't want to be left here, waiting. Impatience scorches a path that leaves tentative eagerness in its wake.] Since the showers are outside the rooms, I keep supplies in here. The clear container.

[Beneath the low frame of the bed, Cy will find a plastic storage box filled with cleaning supplies, among them paper towels, soap, water-based wet wipes, shampoo and conditioner. It is neat and tidily organized.]

Date: 2024-01-16 04:09 am (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#15621104)
From: [personal profile] chokuto
[The distribution of Cy's length across the bed isn't missed by Sasuke, who only manages to fit himself with feet and head up against both ends, but there isn't much to amend it now. In the future, however, it would be wiser to choose another location.

He's startled to realize he is even thinking of that future.

As Cy describes their positioningβ€”methodical, as usual, in his state of order where anyone else would have gone right into the actβ€”dissimilar eyes follow those hands. A pat to his leg. A touch sketched up the length of his cock, the suggestion of contact more than anything tangible. It jumps, eager. His jaw flexes but he keeps himself still, unwilling to be tempted into some pathetic chase for friction or pressure. Even the sight of Cy's fingers carves out a hungry space in him: thicker, larger than his own, perfectly smooth-skinned and unmarred.

The stipulation draws Sasuke's attention back from this fixated stare.]


... I'm fine on my back. [Not out of laziness; he likes how close Cy is, beside him, and he likes the idea of kissing though this won't come confessed so easily.] I should be able to control myself. It's not something I've felt inclined to do much in the past.

[Severe depression sort of knocks the wind out of normal teenage libido.]

But why?

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cw: my feelings getting obliterated

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🀑

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freedom again

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