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[hallowing]

@torontonian

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[hallowing]

i mean, i have no idea who u are but hit me

（ he has the memory of a goldfish and also you changed!! your username!! don't ask this man to think i beg of you it ends badly for all involved! ）

[figured]

[ look he enjoys changing his username, it's a Thing. it's the closest thing he has to a hobby. ]

i spoke to you over the network about computers. you told me you were an engineer.

i have two favors to ask.

[hallowing]

ah, 그 남자.

go for it

[figured]

[ he doesn't see it, but lee almost smiled at that. ]

my 여동생 is here. if something happens to me, i'd appreciate it if you were to tell her. common language and all that.

second: there's a new batch of arrivals. new variables. i can't reasonably ask all of them on my own and not seem suspicious.

[hallowing]

u know, ppl don't usually trust me around their younger siblings, js.

（ he exudes 'fuckboy horndog' energy, okay. but it's mostly just token, playful resistance rather than a refusal. he gets it ）

so u want me to spy for u

do we get a cool handshake?

[figured]

all the better. she's allergic to the nice types. my fault.

[ the thing about the lee siblings is they are extremely unhealthy with each other. such is the nature of being bonded by trauma. the closer someone is to eunhyuk's personality type, the worse eunyu will treat them, and that little bitch can be fucking mean. ]

if you like. as long as no spitting is involved.

[hallowing]

（ little does cy know he's already met her... tbc. ）

so are u gonna tell me her name or do i just start speaking korean at ppl until someone calls me 병신?

and no, probably no spitting.

i tend to reserve that for being nasty and naked, presumably handshakes would not be the focus there.

[figured]

[ 👀👀👀👀👀 ]

eunyu. 은유. likely goes by an expletive on the network, because she thinks it's funny.

...you spit during sex?

[ that doesn't seem hygienic??? ]

[hallowing]

u kno what, i think i talked to her briefly

we kinda did that romcom antagonism meetcute shit @ each other. okay. 👍🏻

u don't???

smh

sometimes u just gotta spit on a dick/pussy/asshole and/or somebody's jizz tastes fucking nasty

i contain multitudes, man, just roll w/it

[figured]

thank you for your patience. she's a handful.

[ anyway— ]

i'd rather not roll around in fluids, thank you. that's just... gross.

[hallowing]

the way i am resisting the urge to turn that into an innuendo... pls appreciate my effort, it is most herculean. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

the point is not to roll around in them, everybody knows u put down a towel on ur bed before u go heels to jesus

but if u ain't spat in a pussy while u were performing a deep tonsil check have u rly lived

[figured]

if you sleep with my sister it'll be punishment enough for you. joke away, i won't laugh.

[ what the hell does heels to jesus even mean??? ]

i can't say i've tried that. i don't know if a woman would actually like that?

[hallowing]

new sibling relationship dynamic encounter unlocked, and that's a weird one for me

（ he's over ten thousand years old, 'new' is wild to him ）

before we go any further are u a virgin

[figured]

[ (not so) fun fact: they're not actually blood-related. eunhyuk was already speaking as a child when eunyu and her mother came into his and his father's life, a little squalling bundle that he nonetheless took to looking after like water fills a glass. and then tragedy struck, and now they can't leave each other behind. not alive, at least. ]

it's mutually shared. don't be surprised if she has worse things to say about me.

and no, i'm not. but i'm not the dating type. or the sticking-around-for-long type. i'm "not emotionally available" enough.

[hallowing]

see now that just makes me wanna ask for the hot goss.

god that's so cliché of u actually. don't u know the new hot trend is emotional solvency

[figured]

[ goss? —gossip, okay, he understands now. ]

there isn't any. we're just dysfunctional.

how is that cliche?

[hallowing]

the emotionally unavailable bad boy trope? rly? u have to ask me how that's cliché?

have u watched a single television program since like 1812? read a book? watched a play? byron is rolling in his grave rn.

[figured]

[ is. he saying eunhyuk's a bad boy type? ???!? ]

i'm hardly a "bad boy", thank you. i'm pretty— what's the term for it, square? i like rules. i like order.

and i'm more of a shelley fan, personally.

[hallowing]

i assure u u can be both

the cold, remote logician, too beholden to society's rules to release the hold on his heart to indulge in fleeting spring romance... im like 98.9 percent sure i read that shōjo manga.

look mary shelley fucked, u have good taste. we stan the OG goth girl who kept her husband's organs after death tbh

[figured]

[ that's kind of a really accurate read it's almost rude. ]

i don't read shojo, sorry for my ignorance.

[ absolutely not sorry at all. ]

and did she, really? i thought that was a rumour, just some myth-building around her period-typical strangeness.

[hallowing]

ur loss tbh

i mean, she thought it was the heart but tbh contemporary records figured prob liver or smth. afaik it definitely happened tho???

but lmao maybe you had to be there.

（ and he wasn't on earth then, so. ）

[figured]

preserving any organ would have taken some specialised knowledge during that time. if true, she's definitely far more well-read than records claim.

so what stereotype are you? if you had to put words to it.

[hallowing]

nah, it was like, the remains after a fire iirc?? so whatever it was was probably just, you know. charred to a briquette.

oh that's easy i am 100 percent himbo-coded

[figured]

ah. cremains, then. that'd make it interesting to preserve though.

i hesitate to ask, what's a himbo?

[hallowing]

a dumbass but not a malicious one, u know?