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ᴄʏʀᴀᴍ ﹙🇴​ɥɔɐʎʌ ᴉɔ ǝ🇱​ɥ🇳​ɐ﹚ ([personal profile] hallowing) wrote2024-01-04 07:28 am
Entry tags:

ic inbox;

@torontonian
TEXT

AUDIO

VIDEO

ACTION

chokuto: (pic#16070758)

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-03 10:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[At the carefully controlled strength Cy demonstrates, that glimmer of just enough to make the point, Sasuke is dizzy with want. It almost shocks him, even aware as he is of those deeper grooves of attraction cut into him now by his history, his breadth of experience, his sense of self. Trauma. That is the word Cy has used to describe it, raw and violent-sounding, real. In the moment it helps to alleviate any lick of shame he would have felt to be put into this submissive position. He's fought so desperately against loss his entire life, unwilling to be brought to his knees by anyone on the battle, unwilling to be reined, unwilling to be hurt. So it's a relief, finally, to fight and struggle and know he won't win. He doesn't have to win. He's asked for this. There's nothing at stake but his body, which he's given over to trusted, gentle hands.

In the illusion of the act, now, they aren't gentle. Sasuke imagines what it would be like to truly fight back against Cy — but the urge is withheld. Bruises are pressed to aching life, naked skin dented by hard fingers, earning another gasp of breath against the bedsheets. Cy tells him he's going to get fucked dry and it's how he imagines it, as if he has been freshly rolled onto his stomach, clothes ripped off, unprepared to take a cock. The animal urgency of dominance flows hot in him; where he's pinned uncomfortably facedown, he can feel his dick throb to pulse of blood.

Arm yanked into a useless position, left leg immobilized, shoulder burning at an angle — fear is another factor safely indulged. His hand clenches around the little silver bell, its metal shape dug into his palm.

The slap of a hand resounds in the room, obscenely loud. He can feel the sting where he's already been hit not long ago. Tensed hamstrings twitch, then clench, so that when Cy drags the line of his dick against the crease of an ass, he'll find the muscles there tightly held. The unintelligible French torches straight through him.]


Don't. [Sasuke is not someone who begs easily, nor pleads for mercy, so the words emerge as if dragged out at great cost. Quiet, low, gritty with humiliation. The stroke across the rim of his hole renews a useless struggle until the effort has him panting, warm with a fine prickle of sweat.] Stop.
chokuto: (pic#16979481)

cw: breeding meta......

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-04 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
[He has felt powerless enough in his life that its sensation is branded across his soul in its own familiar, well-worn pattern. He knows its sensation too intimately — it has been carved by a clever blade held in the hand of the most important person in his life, etching the ruin of vivid memories soaked in blood. And there is a moment, as Cy bears down on him and tells him no, where his body is split on the spear of Cy's cock to a dully radiating throb that doesn't hurt but he can imagine too well — it feels almost real. Yet there's no fear, no reach for dissolution through either safeword or bell.

If anything, his body is lit by the suggestion of that reality, and this time the sound he makes as Cy seats himself in one heavy slide is a sob, emerging desperate even dry and half-smothered by the sheet. All he feels in the world is the way his ass has closed around the shape of Cy's dick, the way muscle throbs to maintain a penetration so much deeper and thicker than the plug. There's almost no time to adjust before his wrist is tugged a little harder and a hand plants between shoulder blades — and his next breath is shallow, strained, sucked against the barrier of fabric against his face.

Then Cy speaks again, and his eyes clench shut in the disorienting rush of arousal that takes hold. It is a thought barely put into his mind by the description of today's holiday associated with fertility, when Cy had insinuated it between the two of them despite the biological impossibility. Sasuke has never thought of himself in that position. It is a woman's role, a woman's sole duty. And yet Cy makes him imagine he is someone who can fulfill that role — that there is some risk of its potential, that Cy will force him to bear children, putting use to a bloodline on the verge of extinction. And the confusing twist of lust and sentiment intermingled is powerful — he feels the cold pillow against his cheek, barely registers it as he's fucked hard enough to drive him inches up the bed. He is too lost in the spiral of an animalistic urge he hardly recognizes.

The orgasm tears itself loose, evoked by that inexplicable fantasy and all of that dragging friction where his cock is pinned to the mattress beneath hips. It even surprises him; there's no warning, nothing but the wrecked noises from a smothered mouth as he comes beneath Cy.]
chokuto: (pic#16979469)

their eternal kink journey continues

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-04 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
[He gets lost somewhere in those words, fucked thoroughly through the oversensitivity of his body and soon reduced to a trembling mess of loose limbs where he's held down to take Cy's cock. Praise weaves into degradation and stitches a picture better than anything — taking him to the brink of what he is, building him up and bringing him back down, a tapestry of raw want made whole in these hands. It feels so good. He did not know sex could feel this way, like an opening of his soul poured forth and bled into another's body.

With enough time, Sasuke imagines that he could get hard again just from bearing Cy's dick like that, every thrust punctuated by filthy language he's never imagined anyone would say to him. For him. He's taken in it, by Cy, that last word of ownership making him moan unselfconsciously — shuddering at the first hot, wet stripes of seed that paint his skin. His ass, lower back, part of his forearm; it makes him shiver all over to be marked for the second time so obscenely.

Then Cy is on the bed with him, their faces close, sharing the same air. The look on Sasuke's face is — glassy, bleary and fucked-out, touched by a softness of relaxation better showing itself when lips curve just a little.]


Cy. [He noses in, an attempt at a kiss more like he rubs his mouth against Cy's cheek.] I'm still... recovering, but — here. Come here. [And he pulls his arm around even as his shoulder protests movement, trying to draw Cy into an embrace.]
chokuto: (pic#16979474)

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-04 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
[All of those touches are answered, accepted, reciprocated — slotting himself up against Cy and seeking another kiss, and another, and another. They aren't especially deep or hungry. It's an act that anchors him back here in this bed, together with Cy.]

Mm, I am. Are you?

[The silk is worked loose carefully, and once it's off his wrist he'll smooth his hand over Cy's body in a path of skin on skin.]

It was different, to hear you talk like that. Act that way. [Not in any negative sense, if his orgasm is proof.] There was something you said... [A breath shivers out of him, head lowering to tuck his face in against Cy's collar.] I'm not sure how to approach it.
chokuto: (pic#15963630)

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-04 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
[The ritual of Cy's cleaning is well-learned by now, and he's pliant to the maneuver of hands, becoming as much a part of sex for him as the act itself. It's soothing, an extension of continued intimacy — mismatched eyes follow Cy's dexterous hands as he's wiped down and the towel is laid on the bed, and when Cy is finished he's easily drawn into the circle of arms. His mind, previously floating on a wave of blank pleasure, begins to center itself back into reality.

It isn't so possible to be... shy around this man, not after all they've shared together, but Sasuke still hesitates as he attempts to communicate this.]


Yes. Do you remember what you were saying before I came? [His right hand lifts, carding through Cy's dark hair.] It was the forceful statements about using me. And, there was something more — it reminded me of how you described this holiday as being focused on fertility.

[In his usual manner of No Eye Contact, Sasuke finds the ceiling to be extremely interesting.]

I was... affected more than I anticipated.
chokuto: (pic#15106077)

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-04 05:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[There's more he wants to discuss — particularly on Cy's side of the experience — but this is, at present, a little stuck in his mind. In the context of this, he's also too aware of the way Cy's hand strokes across his belly, but perhaps he's imagining it.]

Yes. I'm not sure why.

['Breeding kink'. So it has a name, and an apt one.]

We've spoken about it before — having children. [Well, before he'd shut down the subject. It stirs loose some self-directed guilt.] It's a common enough idea in my own world. [Common, more like, all that matters.] I will have to return one day and do the same for the sake of my clan.

[Sasuke says it as if this is an unalterable fact, spoken with a tone of resignation and finality, because in his mind it still is.]

But, it isn't me who would... [Get?? pregnant??] I know you mentioned that there are other ways than between a man and a woman, but that wouldn't be accepted by my society. So I was surprised my reaction was [to Say The Least] —strong.
chokuto: (pic#15106065)

felt 🥲

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-05 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
[Talk it out for himself? A brow furrows with uncertainty.]

I wouldn't know where to start. [He thinks back on an early conversation with Cy; it is, ultimately, an easy choice.] It helps, hearing your thoughts.

[As well as the lack of shame and judgment attached to them.]
chokuto: (pic#16979472)

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-05 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
[Privately, he's grateful to bury his face against the warm cradle of Cy's sternum and simply — listen, absorbing the words in a quiet period of attentiveness, because it's impossible to remain neutral upon hearing them.

That drive toward procreation has felt more like a heavy pressure over his head, dread interwoven with duty more than desire for children. Yet it's not wholly true. As Cy speaks, he sees the other side of it. The way a child would bond together two people. The ownership in knowing that someone else carries a part of you, knowing that you've created a human life together. I'm going to look after them — and Sasuke feels volatile emotion in him ride high, threatening the burn of tears because he has not truly imagined reproduction from the perspective of a relationship with another person in that give-take of connection, belonging. A family.

He may know why, now, lying in bed with a man's arms around him.

Yet does that explain the physical attraction? The 'kink' aspect of reproduction? As Cy goes on, Sasuke tries to frame it in a sexual way — and the possession feels closest to the truth, though it may be more than that. He doesn't know if he would experience it the same with a partner who wasn't Cy. If he'd want someone else to say what Cy has said to him.]


I'm with you. [In a quiet, breathy voice.] I see the appeal. Having children with a person you care for, [a halting pause,] changes the experience. I'd accepted that it may not be possible for me in my own world, due to my circumstances. But... [Sasuke's teeth pinch an inner cheek, and all at once he backs away from where that thought had taken him — for how perilously it threatens to expose the depth of what he feels for Cy.]

There may be an element of humiliation. [Hopefully Cy will not notice the abrupt turn-about.] I've noticed that between us, and my own response to it. However, I'm not imagining that I am... a woman. It seems more related to that feeling of ownership, as you mentioned.
chokuto: (pic#16992553)

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-05 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
[It should humiliate him, the way Cy narrows down so many qualities that are strictly feminine — and true to his life. He no longer had a mother by the time he was eight years old. He took that role completely, learning to cook, clean, sew, and otherwise take care of himself. Yet Cy soothes the implication quickly, easing the knot that had begun to tighten in his throat. In a world so focused on power and strength, and how those can be used to subjugate someone else, homemaking skills are not exactly prized. Least of all by men.

The nuzzle, backed by that reassurance, further calms him.]


It's hard to imagine you as submissive. Even if I did try to use that sort of language on you, would you actually enjoy it? [Cy's pleasure matters to him too.] ... I remember one of the first times we spoke, I said that I would be more dominant than submissive. I believed it. I can imagine myself behaving that way, too, but I don't know that it would have been — a good thing.

[The way he struggles with himself, the guilt he feels at the idea of hurting others...]

I suppose I would have had to learn to be more like you. How you exercise control, safely.
chokuto: (pic#16979458)

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-05 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
[The change in position is met with pliancy, allowing his weight to be brought over Cy's hips in their reclined position, pushing with need into the kiss — just for the sake of that contact, that grounding tether. Then he tucks his head down and lets Cy rub their cheeks together; the man's warmth bleeds between them, uncoiling muscles.

Every time he hears about who Cy used to be and compares it to who he is now, it deepens that channel of affection, of understanding and respect. And the ache of sadness, of course, that is always there.]


If you want to do it with me, [the words spill out of his mouth like an errant sigh,] I'll take care of you. I promise.

[He picks his head up to look at Cy, wanting eye contact — evidence for how important he feels this is to communicate.]

I don't mean right now, but someday in the future. It's okay if you're afraid. I am too.
chokuto: (pic#16990919)

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-05 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
[Don't say that, he almost demands — even if in this context, Cy must mean sexual acts only. Yet there is still a terrifying moment where the request almost falls out of his mouth, because he cannot imagine that sort of fealty, and now he cannot imagine his life without Cy in it, and in one stupid moment he might ask for Cy not to leave him, even after this, after whatever their time in the resort may become —

Sasuke shudders, that touch reeling him down into a kiss. He lets it wipe his mind clean and clear.]


I don't struggle with those things when I'm with you. [Cy gives him the space and security to leave everything that has ever hurt him at the door.] But I can't say that... if I went back, they wouldn't return to me. It might be difficult.

[Would he simply pretend that he has not been irrevocably changed by this man in order to function in his own world? He doesn't know.]

I'm interested in what you said, but — nothing so intense as what we've tried, if that makes sense. I don't know that I want to dominate you in the same way as you've done to me. Can we begin more simply?
Edited 2024-03-05 04:44 (UTC)
chokuto: (pic#16992549)

[personal profile] chokuto 2024-03-05 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
[His eyes are drawn magnetically to that lean line of muscle, attraction toward Cy only chiseled further at the purposeful display — unprotesting as he's moved onto his side, faced forward, the word intercrural settling foreign and strange in his head until demonstrated. Then Sasuke sucks in a breath; his hand drops down, seeking the curve of Cy's hip. The feeling mimics penetration in its level of intimacy but doesn't fully emulate it. It's good, a drag of friction enough to fill out his cock quickly, and his thighs clench down on reflex.

That kiss wetly cooling on his shoulder, Sasuke turns to peer back through dark lashes.]


Won't you have more control if you're in my lap? [But...] It would be easier to kiss you that way.

[He's watching Cy — more intently now. Waiting, as if reined back, for discussion to conclude.]

I want to try it. I don't really care about the position.

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