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[hallowing]

@torontonian

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[hallowing]

the way i am resisting the urge to turn that into an innuendo... pls appreciate my effort, it is most herculean. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

the point is not to roll around in them, everybody knows u put down a towel on ur bed before u go heels to jesus

but if u ain't spat in a pussy while u were performing a deep tonsil check have u rly lived

[figured]

if you sleep with my sister it'll be punishment enough for you. joke away, i won't laugh.

[ what the hell does heels to jesus even mean??? ]

i can't say i've tried that. i don't know if a woman would actually like that?

[hallowing]

new sibling relationship dynamic encounter unlocked, and that's a weird one for me

（ he's over ten thousand years old, 'new' is wild to him ）

before we go any further are u a virgin

[figured]

[ (not so) fun fact: they're not actually blood-related. eunhyuk was already speaking as a child when eunyu and her mother came into his and his father's life, a little squalling bundle that he nonetheless took to looking after like water fills a glass. and then tragedy struck, and now they can't leave each other behind. not alive, at least. ]

it's mutually shared. don't be surprised if she has worse things to say about me.

and no, i'm not. but i'm not the dating type. or the sticking-around-for-long type. i'm "not emotionally available" enough.

[hallowing]

see now that just makes me wanna ask for the hot goss.

god that's so cliché of u actually. don't u know the new hot trend is emotional solvency

[figured]

[ goss? —gossip, okay, he understands now. ]

there isn't any. we're just dysfunctional.

how is that cliche?

[hallowing]

the emotionally unavailable bad boy trope? rly? u have to ask me how that's cliché?

have u watched a single television program since like 1812? read a book? watched a play? byron is rolling in his grave rn.

[figured]

[ is. he saying eunhyuk's a bad boy type? ???!? ]

i'm hardly a "bad boy", thank you. i'm pretty— what's the term for it, square? i like rules. i like order.

and i'm more of a shelley fan, personally.

[hallowing]

i assure u u can be both

the cold, remote logician, too beholden to society's rules to release the hold on his heart to indulge in fleeting spring romance... im like 98.9 percent sure i read that shōjo manga.

look mary shelley fucked, u have good taste. we stan the OG goth girl who kept her husband's organs after death tbh

[figured]

[ that's kind of a really accurate read it's almost rude. ]

i don't read shojo, sorry for my ignorance.

[ absolutely not sorry at all. ]

and did she, really? i thought that was a rumour, just some myth-building around her period-typical strangeness.

[hallowing]

ur loss tbh

i mean, she thought it was the heart but tbh contemporary records figured prob liver or smth. afaik it definitely happened tho???

but lmao maybe you had to be there.

（ and he wasn't on earth then, so. ）

[figured]

preserving any organ would have taken some specialised knowledge during that time. if true, she's definitely far more well-read than records claim.

so what stereotype are you? if you had to put words to it.

[hallowing]

nah, it was like, the remains after a fire iirc?? so whatever it was was probably just, you know. charred to a briquette.

oh that's easy i am 100 percent himbo-coded

[figured]

ah. cremains, then. that'd make it interesting to preserve though.

i hesitate to ask, what's a himbo?

[hallowing]

a dumbass but not a malicious one, u know?

[figured]

like nobita from doraemon?

[ 'cause that kid's a real dumbass. ]

or bruce wayne's public persona.

[hallowing]

i mean yes, but the bruce wayne thing is particularly spot on

so yea

himbo

[figured]

so: handsome by most standards, but given allowances on account of their affable nature. seemingly slow.

but you're not a stupid man.