hallowing | ic inbox;

hallowing

@torontonian

▶ TEXT

▶ AUDIO

▶ VIDEO

▶ ACTION

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

From:

hallowing

It wouldn't be the same.

（ he says that very softly, with another gentle kiss to his cheek, tasting salt. ）

And it would be unfair, to put that person in a cage of expectations, and to love the shadow of you in them. I couldn't do that to someone. （ there's not a lot he wouldn't give, to have one more conversation with tak. but even if he found him, some ten thousand years later, an impossible thing in the fabric of space, time and physics — he would hate every moment that was shared, was loved, was lost. ） I don't mind being alone, you know. I made peace with that a long time ago.

From:

chokuto

[The response doesn't make him happy, even if it is logical, and selfless, and kind. The fact is still —]

It's not fair for you either. You shouldn't have to be alone. You shouldn't have to make peace with it.

[And his own resolve not to leave Cy to that fate only strengthens.]

Is there nothing that can be done?

From:

hallowing

（ and that's the rub, isn't it? cy doesn't believe in fate or destiny — to accept that, he'd have to accept that it was the predetermined outcome of kulo vayn getting into his head that destroyed eleven worlds, that those people existed only to die en masse. and he'd have to accept, too, that out of all the billions of lifeforms in the world, he alone was fit to be ordained the god of war.

it may be fucking stupid, but the chaotic behaviour of the universe is something he can look at reasonably and logically from a mathematic promontory. one in a thousand quintillion is still a chance. fair? no, maybe it's not fair. but it's real, and there is no universal constant of fairness that rights itself on a long-enough timeline. everything moves towards entropy. order into disorder. ）

I know you can't stand the thought of me being by myself. （ that's said very softly, as cy shifts just enough that he can thread their fingers together, squeezing with a sort of tenderness that's firm and bracing besides. ） I love that about you. The gentleness, the empathy. You're truly a kind person. （ he brings sasuke's hand up over the boy's shoulder and kisses at his knuckles. ） Can we talk about this later?

From:

chokuto

[It isn't so common for Cy to set a boundary, but when it does happen, Sasuke has noticed it is always central to the man's individual suffering — to his extended life, his existence leashed by the creature named Kulo Vayn entombed in his mind. And like the time before, when Cy would not let him intervene despite the efforts he'd gone to control himself — that self-executed drowning — Sasuke struggles not to push back. He wonders if Cy will defer and deflect it indefinitely, until Sasuke himself is too old and half his own life has passed before their eyes. Until it is too late.

But pushing invites the threat of Cy's distance or even abandonment if he goes too far, and he can't risk the only happiness he's ever had. It is like being pulled in two directions — but in that moment, it's easier to nod his head and accept it, swallow it, even if he doesn't want to. The softness of fatigue, the emotional responsibility of the eggs they've somehow fostered, takes precedence today.]

All right. [He turns his head, nuzzling against Cy's shoulder as best he can reach.] I love you.

From:

hallowing

I know.

（ has he not demonstrated it at every turn, in every way?

one hand lifts, cupping the side of sasuke's head, corralling him for a kiss that's only slightly awkward. ）

I love you too. Get some rest. I'll keep an eye on the eggs for now, and I'll take a nap later. Comfy?

From:

chokuto

Mm.

[He settles in after that kiss, readjusting their arms so the embrace is complete, easily sinking into the warmth of Cy's body and the reassurance of its solidity against his own. At some point, sleeping up against Cy had become — necessary, and to go without it for one night unfathomable. It takes little time for him to drift off like that, contented.]

From:

hallowing

u kno

these eggs are giving me ideas

From:

chokuto

Do those ideas involve you bringing back something to eat while I'm watching over them?

From:

hallowing

oh no they are markedly less wholesome than that*

*i have already picked u up fried rice w/shrimp and onigiri hopefully u like shrimp??

n e way.

unwholesome, lewd thoughts: what if i wanna stuff u full of (not these) eggs to simulate pregnancy tho 🥺🥺

From:

chokuto

[He was about to answer that question, but — ??????]

You want to what?

What eggs? Where?

From:

hallowing

fun eggs. not 'our precious magpie babies' eggs, but, u know. fun adult eggs designed exactly for this purpose.

there are dildos u can use that can lay them for lack of a better word. in an orifice of ur choice.

gotta be more careful w/the ass bc otherwise shit can get MAD lost up there

From:

chokuto

Fun adult eggs. Are they alive?

A dildo... lays them? Inside of a person?

Have you done this before?

From:

hallowing

nah. fantasy only!!

yea, there's a mechanism. u push eggs thru the dildo into a Bodily Orifice.

they're usually soft. u can get some in silicone that usually are attached w/a cord to one another so u can pull them out of wherever u stuck them

but there's also ones u can get that are gelatin that dissolve inside w/body heat.

From:

chokuto

Oh.

[The telltale '...' appear and vanish, appear and vanish — for several moments.]

You want to simulate pregnancy by putting fake eggs into me with a dildo?

From:

hallowing

yes???

From:

chokuto

I'm not against it.

But... I'm not a bird.

[Why is this the only problem here??????]

From:

hallowing

wait, ur NOT???

ALL THIS TIME U HAVEN'T BEEN A BIRD?

From:

chokuto

I mean, do you still find it attractive? That it's not biologically possible for me to... carry eggs.

From:

hallowing

yes

absolutely

look we agree that it's a bad idea to knock u up for realsies in this hellhole

but that doesn't mean i can't stuff ur orifices full of eggs and get all mushy on u abt the idea of u being a sexy sexy incubator for our theoretically eggy offspring

ja feel?

From:

chokuto

[Perhaps if he weren't cuddled up with over two dozen magpie eggs in the makeshift nest they've manufactured, he might find the idea too strange to fathom. But — Cy has opened his mind to ideas and fantasies he hadn't known possible, and this is only one more like that. It doesn't really seem strange at all.]

How large are the eggs usually?

[He's asking practical questions now. Interest piqued.]

From:

hallowing

（ has he mentioned yet that sasuke's willingness to be open to new things is one of the more arousing corollaries of trust? because. yeah. ）

we could make 'em whatever size u fancied. i mean obvs i'm not going to advocate stuffing smth the size of an ostrich egg all up in ya orifices, but. we could experiment w/some diff sizes.

From:

chokuto

I was wondering because the size will impact how many my body can hold at once.

[Yes, he is thinking about this Seriously.]

Unless we do the cord method, then I should probably be in my female form. Even if they're supposed to dissolve, I don't know how comfortable it would be. And dissolving would also technically put us on a timer. Right?

From:

hallowing

there's prob a few diff size molds we can get.

it's not rly any more uncomfortable than lube as far as i know, but it does make a mess.

the gelatin eggs would dissolve in 15-20 minutes, but i can prob find a vegan alternative that might last longer.