（ the blows are deliberate, landed the moment after sasuke counts off the last of them. there's a bit more force this time around than there was last time, enough that the sting of the smacks will sink in, and linger like the summer's heat at the first kiss of fall. they remain offset — no two in the exact same spot concurrently — but every once in a while he'll let his hand linger, rubbing at the plug, pushing it deeper and making it shift inside him before he draws back again.
at the eighth blow, sasuke's thighs part just enough that it needs attention, and so he hooks one hand over the boy's knees and pulls them closed with a flex of his fingers, and continues at the count — nine delivered snugly over the plug without quite striking it, palm curved just enough. but following in prior sequence, he does then press in against it, rocking his hand in a motion that's both soothing and torturous, the sensations at war with one another.
[The strikes of Cy's open palm are heavier, delivered a little harder, and that change escalates to the hot sunburn-sting much sooner than their prior introductory session. Sasuke sinks into the undertow of weathered discomfort, touching a state of clear-mindedness he's only grazed up against in their past exchanges, or else experienced purely as a consequence of aphrodisiac from that first time — he feels almost empty, mindless, existing only in the space between each slap of skin and shift of the plug in his hole. He hears himself counting. It's all he can seem to manage while panting in hot bursts of air facedown, face damp with a fine prickle of sweat from this exertion.
Legs obediently squeeze shut at the direction, an action so instinctive that Cy barely has to touch him to achieve it. There's so much sensation. And Cy tells him good boy, and this praise seems to drag the resulting pleasure out of him as if from deep down inside — the blunt shape of the plug aches in his ass, his dick caught hard beneath his belly, hips driven inches up the pillow as he's struck.]
Ah—!
[A surprisingly sharp, high sound half-smothered into the bed, Sasuke jolts as he comes, flooding the towel below his body with the wet rush of an orgasm.]
（ well, that's a sound he hasn't made before, and the tremor of orgasm is not remotely subtle. cy's hand stills at the last stroke, and turns the contact into a soft, gentle contact instead. he reaches across sasuke's body to track down the lotion he'd picked up the last time they'd done this, and while he's bent low across his back he drops a kiss against sasuke's shoulder.
it's the first time sasuke hasn't asked or been given permission to come, or at the very least hasn't warned him — and he's sure that he won't take the perception of some sort of failure easily or well. it's with that awareness that whatever he says will be formative to sasuke's comfort that he pops the cap on the lotion and starts to warm a generous helping of it in the palm of his hand. ）
Hey, it's okay. I didn't tell you not to come.
（ so, no actual 'failure', let's clarify that first. he pets a thin layer of lotion against the reddened skin of sasuke's ass, soothing the heat of impact. ）
And even if I would've, you wanna know something fun? It's not like having you follow my orders isn't hot — pretty sure I have absolutely proven that on more than one occasion — but every once in a while, knowing that I can get you worked up enough that you can't help yourself is pretty fuckin' good too. So either way, whatever happens is like a treat for me, personally. Homemade and hand delivered at the head of ya' pretty cock.
（ the massage deepens, and he now prises sasuke's thighs apart intentionally, working the tension from a dip of his hand between them. he's gotten into the habit of handling sasuke's body like it's purchased property, as if no part of him is to be hidden away or concealed or held to be sacred in solitary. instead, he writes his touch into every line of him, as if intent on crowding out any other contact that's ever been laid down in pain. ）
Was it because the spanking was harder, or because of the plug? Both, you think?
[Dazed and malleable, his body relaxes beneath the tender stroke of that hand, glide of lotion easing any friction between skin. Cy's words work to preempt any shame or embarrassment — and it surprises him to realize Cy would sense his reaction, would act to defuse it before he's even begun to knot up in that ingrained fear of failure so natural to who he is.
Sasuke turns his head to look back over a shoulder, feelings pooled in a warm puddle more than anything of substance. It takes a few moments to be able to form words.]
Both, maybe. I'm not sure.
[A sigh stirs from parted lips as Cy's hand slips between his legs, easily pliant to however he's touched. He could fall asleep beneath these hands now; it is always a terrifying thought, as if he's stepped up to the high edge of a cliff. Cy has carried him so far from instinctive walls of defense, habits that have kept him alive.]
The sensations felt... overwhelming, but not in a way I didn't enjoy. [Well, clearly.] It was intense.
（ the word 'enjoy' pulls a laugh out of him, a breath of amusement that'd be easy to miss if sasuke's attention lapsed for a moment. gently, he nudges sasuke to roll off the pillow propped beneath him, mindful of his arm and that he won't wind up pinning it uncomfortably in a boneless slump. he uses the towel to mop him up, and then hucks it in a ball for the door. any remaining remnants of come get lapped up, almost a ritual between them in and of itself. ）
Gettin' that impression. （ he just sounds so fond, words a soft murmur against sasuke's abdomen as he licks a stripe near his navel. he casts one hand out, feeling around until he catches hold of the silk tether looped about sasuke's wrist and then he follows it to his hand, lacing their fingers together in an affectionate press of sensation. ） I'm glad you're enjoying it. Got you out of your head a bit that time, huh?
[He rolls as directed, softness in his expression as Cy tends to him, wanting to reach and coil around him for an embrace, wanting to kiss his mouth and pull close — but they aren't done yet, and he's cognizant of this fact as Cy laps the spill of seed from skin missed by the towel. The hot and soothing swipes of that tongue make his toes curl.]
Mm. [Fingers braided, he squeezes a little tighter and nudges in, just enough to push his chin against whatever part of Cy he can reach.] Yes. It felt... [A gust of breath.] Like a high.
[He can't remain obedient for long when they're effectively between intended acts, and so a leg swings over to try and trap Cy's body against him.]
（ once he's tidied sasuke up to his satisfaction, mouthed at his softened cock and licked the saltbitter taste of come from wherever it was smeared or smudged, he lets himself be hauled into a sort-of embrace, letting their limbs tangle up as he drapes himself along sasuke's side. he's still fully clothed and abruptly doesn't want to be — he could use the void, but instead he hauls his shirt off over his head with a disarming wriggle out of sasuke's reaching radius, and then kicks his pants off with equally as little ceremony. the articles are shucked to the floor, and then he returns to his prior position.
skin-on-skin contact is almost a panacea — he sinks into it with a contented murmur of noise. clearly, he is fine to take a break and just luxuriate in some good ol' fashioned cuddling. ）
S'called subspace. It's when endorphins and adrenaline sort of hit a sweet spot in your brain and everything but the moment falls away. For a lot of people it's the aim of a scene. （ softly, ） Takes a lot of trust.
（ not always. not with everyone. but people like them — yeah. ）
[There's a slight curve to his mouth as he watches Cy wiggle around, fully aware of the neat trick he's utilized in the past to make swift work of his clothing and acutely endeared that Cy has chosen the old-fashioned route. As soon as skin is presented, he cleaves toward it. Their bodies fit together with well-practiced care by now. The silk of the scarf drags between them as he wraps his arm around Cy, but he doesn't mind; he still wants to keep it on.]
I can see why. With anyone else, I would be uncomfortable. It feels... exposed.
[He turns his head, nosing along Cy's jaw.]
Do you experience anything similar, or is it only for the person receiving?
Mm. There can also be a drop afterwards if you aren't careful — that's why I do all those check-ins. Once the adrenaline and the kinda... euphoric 'high' wears off, you can wind up feeling depressed, withdrawn, upset — sometimes you realize after the fact that you regret letting a scene get to the point it did, or that something that was good in the moment wasn't quite so awesome after, you know?
（ sasuke wraps an arm around him, and cy makes space — open and flexible to accommodate. he settles his hand against sasuke's shoulder and gently trails his fingertips back and forth as he does. ）
Doms can get it too. Subspace is more about letting go, and being kinda zoned in on sensation and experience, but on the Dom side you need to be mindful, be in control, be attentive. It's more about achieving deep empathy and synergy — but there's a lot less research done on that side of it, and there's different schools of thought about what it looks like or means, that's just my take. When your partner gets into subspace you need to be even more careful, because people can get more suggestible or tolerant of things in a way that can very easily go badly for all involved.
（ a light shrug. he's already caught himself having to be mindful of sasuke's willing tolerance of... fuck, anything really, and while it's not a problem while they're experimenting with some of the simpler, more vanilla things — he knows he'll need to watch his step and his own tendencies towards sadism the deeper they get. that first stupid judgment call doesn't quite haunt him, but he's — aware of it, like something lodged between two teeth. ）
I don't usually experience it outright, myself. It's hard for me to pull myself into just a single moment. And sometimes I'm — （ his mouth twists. ） — anxious about how I present control, and handle it, and manage it, so any possibility of slippage there scares the Hell out of me, actually.
（ for reasons he knows he won't have to explain. ）
[He shifts to lay on his side, also accommodating the position with their bodies tangled together on the bed, only a hitch of breath signaling the shift of that blunt plug still inside of him.]
I've experienced something similar to that — the drop — but not in the same context. There's often a low I feel after battle. Once all the adrenaline has faded, and... regardless of the outcome, whether I've won or lost, I find myself withdrawing. I don't like being around other people.
[So many battles he's picked himself up from and tended to his body alone, unless he needed outside aid that he couldn't manage on his own. There are no good memories in that direction of thought, so he focuses his eyes on Cy's face instead, close to him, hand wandering the smooth skin of a warm back.]
I've considered it. For you, I imagine that I would endure anything. [A simple fact he feels no shame admitting.] But if it's your responsibility to be in control, then I should also be aware of how much I can take before I agree to something, because I think it's natural for my mind to go to that place where it's low. [Speaking his thoughts, working it from his mind with words — it is easier with Cy than he's ever experienced with another person.] I don't know what those boundaries are yet, but I'm not worried.
It's okay to want to be alone. Even if you decide that you want to have space from me in the context of scene aftercare — there are times when that can be healthy. I won't be upset if you ask — but it is something that should be a bit of a conversation first.
（ the rest, though. he shifts under that hand, propping himself up halfly with an elbow. he reaches out, unbidden, and traces sasuke's bottom lip with his thumb. it would be so natural here to fill the silence that follows with i love you. how quickly he came to it doesn't worry him. he's come to similar conclusions about other people on other worlds over a cup of coffee. love is the only defiance he has against what he was made.
but sasuke, he thinks, is not ready to hear it. even if he's already saying it in a thousand little ways — he'd been clear that its grip on him is not easily or gently tolerated.
i imagine that i would endure anything, he says. if one were to pantomime the sentiment implied, they would need to rip their beating heart from their chest and hold it aloft in a slick of viscera. ）
Fuck, can I put a moratorium on you saying nice things to me today? You're gonna make me cry again and that was not the kinda dehydration I was talking about earlier. （ he sprawls his hand across sasuke's face and just — pushes at him playfully. who let you exist, actually. ） But — thank you. For seeing me.
[There's a huff, not quite laughter but enough to communicate the warmth of its effect. He lets himself be pushed, unresisting, and rolls slightly until he's half on his back.]
You're welcome.
[It's easy to speak his mind with Cy — and it does not surprise him that the words would be so sentimental. To him, they're simply the truth. He wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it. For too many years, he kept his heart and his mind under the lock and cage of his own misery, his own anguish and grief.]
You want my libido to change gears like a shitty old Ford? (You will not get that reference, roll with it) I am swinging precariously between 'fuck you in missionary while staring adoringly into your eyes' and 'fucking you senseless while you're half tied up' and I really don't know what's gonna win.
So now you admit that your age is getting to you? How convenient.
[It's meant to tease as he rolls fully over onto his back, shoulder brushing the wall beside the bed where he's come to lie, a long line of uncaring immodesty in naked flesh — scars, pale skin, the imperfect left arm.]
How was that your takeaway and not 'wow, I sure wish there were more hours and orgasms in the day to pamper the unholy fuck outta this hot young stud in my bed'?
（ get with it, sasuke.
meanwhile, though, he's going to actually go back to that cake??? yes. cake. clearly the best of all possible worlds here, as he sits up cross-legged and reaches for the abandoned plate. the fork is turned and knifed into it in a smooth downward stroke, and while he chews: ）
I mean, pros and cons to each, right? On one hand, cuddlefuckin' is an a+ way to spend any day. The slow, luxurious drive of my cock right （ yes he is going to spear a strawberry with his fork, somehow this is probably a metaphor ） all up in ya business. Hitting every erogenous zone you've got from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Complimenting you until you get all 'iyaa senpai' on me is fuckin' adorable, actually.
（ look that was a surprisingly accurate impression of a besotted schoolgirl, yet he will not apologize. ）
On the other hand, getting to explore something new is fun. （ he reaches out, curls his hand around the tether of the loosened cuff that sasuke has very deliberately not taken off, even stained with cum as it is. ） We can agree on limits and mitigating steps, and I know you'd stop me if you had to. I like that you let me hold you down. I like that you like it.
（ a soft hum. then, apparently, he alights on the deciding factor: ）
What would make you feel closest to me? No wrong answers.
[Cy says so much, running him through a gamut of reactions — a scoff, then a quiet boiling of arousal, then an eyeroll at that needless girlish impression, and finally whipped back to interest by the tug of the scarf. There's no strength to it, but the suggestion is there.]
We have time. I don't see why we can't do both.
[It's an unconscious reflection of earlier thoughts. He levers himself onto the right elbow, careful not to jar his body too much around the plug as he watches Cy eat.]
They both make me feel close to you in different ways. But, if I had to choose... if there was only one of those available tonight, then... I was already in the mindset of the second — being held down. I want to experience what that's like between us, because I've been thinking about it since the beginning. Since you first used those words on me.
[It should be clear what he means.]
Is there more we need to discuss before doing that?
（ he considers how to delineate this for a long moment, setting aside the last third of the cake for later with a few additional perfunctory scrapes of his fork to clean the cream from the plate. ）
Let's take spanking for example. There's a difference between me putting you over my knee and saying you've been naughty （ a playful lift of his eyebrows ） versus, hell — having you dress in a uniform and have a room set up like a class, me acting like a teacher that's pissed off you cheated on a test. The second one might involve something like a spanking, making you stand naked for 'examination', or writing lines on the chalkboard or whatever else we agree on because it makes it more immersive, easy to kinda put yourself into a different mindset. The first one's more heat of the moment kinky — the second one has a set-up, a fully roleplayed scenario, and you try not to 'break character' so to speak.
（ he reaches for sasuke, just sort of neatly grabbing him and pulling him astride his hips as he settles back down in his post-cake life, oop. ）
What I meant here was more — do you want me to lean into that sorta spur of the moment kinky talk? I think a full-on set-up for a scene that leans into rape-play would require a lot more discussion first, clear boundaries and limits and a set-up that makes it pretty different from how we normally have sex. I wouldn't do it here, for instance — my room or yours. That sort of thing needs to be really clearly disparate. Does that make sense?
[The first analogy that comes to mind is a mission — one that requires elaborate and covert deception, and nothing that Sasuke has extensive experience in himself. It was never expected while he still lived as a genin in the village, fulfilling lower ranked missions. And now he is simply too recognizable to be useful in such a way. Yet the concept is familiar: to pretend to be another person, or to take on another identity, and fall into that role wholly.
Cy moves him, coaxing a low sound as he's repositioned across the man's hips, jolting the plug still nestled inside his ass. His hand reflexively flashes out to Cy's shoulder for stability.]
I understand. I'd like to try it eventually, but it isn't a scenario to take lightly, and we should prepare as you say. As for this time — [his hand wanders up, fingers playing with dark strands of hair at the back of Cy's head.] Yes. I want to hear you speak that way.
[Thoughtful, just for the space of a moment.]
Would it help if I also played into that sort of talk?
We can try it, but let's put a limit on how much we get into, okay?
（ he turns his head for no other reason than to nuzzle at sasuke's palm, pressing a kiss flat against it. his hands settle against the boy's thighs, fingers flexing lightly, pressing down. ）
[The hand opens, cradling Cy's cheek in the steady cup of his palm.]
You've said before that it would be hard on you. [Sasuke hasn't forgotten that explanation, although now it makes him wonder whether this is right to request.] Are you sure? I don't mind if we go with your first suggestion. I only wanted to spend time with you today.
It can be. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it （ admitting that isn't as hard as it used to be. but coming to terms with something awful and ugly that lives in you is — a process. ） or want it if and when you do.
（ he tips his head into sasuke's hand, giving him a fond little smile. because that's the kicker, isn't it? he'd never suggest it with someone who wasn't receptive, and he'd never try it with someone whose only driving factor was pleasing him rather than an earnest enjoyment of their own.
but sasuke — their preferences align along similar, shattering lines. and he won't make sasuke feel badly for what he wants when cy is driven by the same sorts of things. ）
Besides, you'll look after me. That's the whole point.
（ he slaps sasuke's thigh, just enough to sting. ）
[That tenderness between them lays open, a gentle flaying of vulnerability to expose what they both want — but Sasuke is not ashamed of it anymore. Cy has made that impossible. With this man it feels that anything is possible, and he won't be judged for bringing the most difficult secrets into the light.
He did not lie. At this point, there's little he wouldn't do for Cy. It is even harder to imagine a life without him, a fact made most stark when they're separated, but he is trying not to let it show to any disruptive degree. That sort of dependency... it would only be a burden. He's more mature now; he knows how to face the uncertainty of the future, and he can apply that to the instability of these dimensions.
Or so he assures himself.
The slap jolts Sasuke from these thoughts with a sharp little breath, sitting straighter on Cy's lap.]
I'll take care of you. [As solemn as an oath.] And yes, I remember it. I also have this. [His right hand lifts, dangling the bell from his middle finger with a bright chime.]
（ the silk tail is corralled in one hand, and then gently looped over sasuke's head to cradle the back of his neck, where it's tugged until it pulls him in for a deep, soft kiss. ）
Sit up for a sec, I'll take the plug out. Once I've got it, I'm going to flip us and push you down. I'll pin your hand against your back — you can struggle if you want to, if you try to close your thighs I'll drag them apart and leave bruises — and then I'll fuck you. I'll try not to do anything we haven't discussed or anything that's like... spontaneous. I know it can be kinda a mood killer, but if anything veers off course I'm going to stop and we'll talk first.
（ another little kiss, like punctuation as sasuke obeys him with a flex of his thighs. cy adjusts to support his weight so he can relax and then reaches between sasuke's legs — with a meaningful, possessive palming of his cock first — to ease the plug out. he doesn't want to deal with trying to find a place to put it so they can clean it later so instead he just yeets it into the void. it's a problem for later. ）
I'll use lube because I don't want to hurt you, but I'll probably use language as if I won't or wouldn't, things like 'fucking you dry'. And — it's a different psychological space to get into, so you may or may not get off. Both are fine — there's no right or wrong way to react to this. Afterwards let's debrief together and maybe hit the showers, then we can get back into the marathon, okay?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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at the eighth blow, sasuke's thighs part just enough that it needs attention, and so he hooks one hand over the boy's knees and pulls them closed with a flex of his fingers, and continues at the count — nine delivered snugly over the plug without quite striking it, palm curved just enough. but following in prior sequence, he does then press in against it, rocking his hand in a motion that's both soothing and torturous, the sensations at war with one another.
in a murmur — ）
Good boy. One more.
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Legs obediently squeeze shut at the direction, an action so instinctive that Cy barely has to touch him to achieve it. There's so much sensation. And Cy tells him good boy, and this praise seems to drag the resulting pleasure out of him as if from deep down inside — the blunt shape of the plug aches in his ass, his dick caught hard beneath his belly, hips driven inches up the pillow as he's struck.]
Ah—!
[A surprisingly sharp, high sound half-smothered into the bed, Sasuke jolts as he comes, flooding the towel below his body with the wet rush of an orgasm.]
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it's the first time sasuke hasn't asked or been given permission to come, or at the very least hasn't warned him — and he's sure that he won't take the perception of some sort of failure easily or well. it's with that awareness that whatever he says will be formative to sasuke's comfort that he pops the cap on the lotion and starts to warm a generous helping of it in the palm of his hand. ）
Hey, it's okay. I didn't tell you not to come.
（ so, no actual 'failure', let's clarify that first. he pets a thin layer of lotion against the reddened skin of sasuke's ass, soothing the heat of impact. ）
And even if I would've, you wanna know something fun? It's not like having you follow my orders isn't hot — pretty sure I have absolutely proven that on more than one occasion — but every once in a while, knowing that I can get you worked up enough that you can't help yourself is pretty fuckin' good too. So either way, whatever happens is like a treat for me, personally. Homemade and hand delivered at the head of ya' pretty cock.
（ the massage deepens, and he now prises sasuke's thighs apart intentionally, working the tension from a dip of his hand between them. he's gotten into the habit of handling sasuke's body like it's purchased property, as if no part of him is to be hidden away or concealed or held to be sacred in solitary. instead, he writes his touch into every line of him, as if intent on crowding out any other contact that's ever been laid down in pain. ）
Was it because the spanking was harder, or because of the plug? Both, you think?
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Sasuke turns his head to look back over a shoulder, feelings pooled in a warm puddle more than anything of substance. It takes a few moments to be able to form words.]
Both, maybe. I'm not sure.
[A sigh stirs from parted lips as Cy's hand slips between his legs, easily pliant to however he's touched. He could fall asleep beneath these hands now; it is always a terrifying thought, as if he's stepped up to the high edge of a cliff. Cy has carried him so far from instinctive walls of defense, habits that have kept him alive.]
The sensations felt... overwhelming, but not in a way I didn't enjoy. [Well, clearly.] It was intense.
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Gettin' that impression. （ he just sounds so fond, words a soft murmur against sasuke's abdomen as he licks a stripe near his navel. he casts one hand out, feeling around until he catches hold of the silk tether looped about sasuke's wrist and then he follows it to his hand, lacing their fingers together in an affectionate press of sensation. ） I'm glad you're enjoying it. Got you out of your head a bit that time, huh?
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Mm. [Fingers braided, he squeezes a little tighter and nudges in, just enough to push his chin against whatever part of Cy he can reach.] Yes. It felt... [A gust of breath.] Like a high.
[He can't remain obedient for long when they're effectively between intended acts, and so a leg swings over to try and trap Cy's body against him.]
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skin-on-skin contact is almost a panacea — he sinks into it with a contented murmur of noise. clearly, he is fine to take a break and just luxuriate in some good ol' fashioned cuddling. ）
S'called subspace. It's when endorphins and adrenaline sort of hit a sweet spot in your brain and everything but the moment falls away. For a lot of people it's the aim of a scene. （ softly, ） Takes a lot of trust.
（ not always. not with everyone. but people like them — yeah. ）
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I can see why. With anyone else, I would be uncomfortable. It feels... exposed.
[He turns his head, nosing along Cy's jaw.]
Do you experience anything similar, or is it only for the person receiving?
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（ sasuke wraps an arm around him, and cy makes space — open and flexible to accommodate. he settles his hand against sasuke's shoulder and gently trails his fingertips back and forth as he does. ）
Doms can get it too. Subspace is more about letting go, and being kinda zoned in on sensation and experience, but on the Dom side you need to be mindful, be in control, be attentive. It's more about achieving deep empathy and synergy — but there's a lot less research done on that side of it, and there's different schools of thought about what it looks like or means, that's just my take. When your partner gets into subspace you need to be even more careful, because people can get more suggestible or tolerant of things in a way that can very easily go badly for all involved.
（ a light shrug. he's already caught himself having to be mindful of sasuke's willing tolerance of... fuck, anything really, and while it's not a problem while they're experimenting with some of the simpler, more vanilla things — he knows he'll need to watch his step and his own tendencies towards sadism the deeper they get. that first stupid judgment call doesn't quite haunt him, but he's — aware of it, like something lodged between two teeth. ）
I don't usually experience it outright, myself. It's hard for me to pull myself into just a single moment. And sometimes I'm — （ his mouth twists. ） — anxious about how I present control, and handle it, and manage it, so any possibility of slippage there scares the Hell out of me, actually.
（ for reasons he knows he won't have to explain. ）
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I've experienced something similar to that — the drop — but not in the same context. There's often a low I feel after battle. Once all the adrenaline has faded, and... regardless of the outcome, whether I've won or lost, I find myself withdrawing. I don't like being around other people.
[So many battles he's picked himself up from and tended to his body alone, unless he needed outside aid that he couldn't manage on his own. There are no good memories in that direction of thought, so he focuses his eyes on Cy's face instead, close to him, hand wandering the smooth skin of a warm back.]
I've considered it. For you, I imagine that I would endure anything. [A simple fact he feels no shame admitting.] But if it's your responsibility to be in control, then I should also be aware of how much I can take before I agree to something, because I think it's natural for my mind to go to that place where it's low. [Speaking his thoughts, working it from his mind with words — it is easier with Cy than he's ever experienced with another person.] I don't know what those boundaries are yet, but I'm not worried.
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（ the rest, though. he shifts under that hand, propping himself up halfly with an elbow. he reaches out, unbidden, and traces sasuke's bottom lip with his thumb. it would be so natural here to fill the silence that follows with i love you. how quickly he came to it doesn't worry him. he's come to similar conclusions about other people on other worlds over a cup of coffee. love is the only defiance he has against what he was made.
but sasuke, he thinks, is not ready to hear it. even if he's already saying it in a thousand little ways — he'd been clear that its grip on him is not easily or gently tolerated.
i imagine that i would endure anything, he says. if one were to pantomime the sentiment implied, they would need to rip their beating heart from their chest and hold it aloft in a slick of viscera. ）
Fuck, can I put a moratorium on you saying nice things to me today? You're gonna make me cry again and that was not the kinda dehydration I was talking about earlier. （ he sprawls his hand across sasuke's face and just — pushes at him playfully. who let you exist, actually. ） But — thank you. For seeing me.
（ you know. metaphorically. ）
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You're welcome.
[It's easy to speak his mind with Cy — and it does not surprise him that the words would be so sentimental. To him, they're simply the truth. He wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it. For too many years, he kept his heart and his mind under the lock and cage of his own misery, his own anguish and grief.]
Then, is the intermission over?
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（ por que no los dos? ）
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[It's meant to tease as he rolls fully over onto his back, shoulder brushing the wall beside the bed where he's come to lie, a long line of uncaring immodesty in naked flesh — scars, pale skin, the imperfect left arm.]
I can wait for you to make up your mind.
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（ get with it, sasuke.
meanwhile, though, he's going to actually go back to that cake??? yes. cake. clearly the best of all possible worlds here, as he sits up cross-legged and reaches for the abandoned plate. the fork is turned and knifed into it in a smooth downward stroke, and while he chews: ）
I mean, pros and cons to each, right? On one hand, cuddlefuckin' is an a+ way to spend any day. The slow, luxurious drive of my cock right （ yes he is going to spear a strawberry with his fork, somehow this is probably a metaphor ） all up in ya business. Hitting every erogenous zone you've got from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Complimenting you until you get all 'iyaa senpai' on me is fuckin' adorable, actually.
（ look that was a surprisingly accurate impression of a besotted schoolgirl, yet he will not apologize. ）
On the other hand, getting to explore something new is fun. （ he reaches out, curls his hand around the tether of the loosened cuff that sasuke has very deliberately not taken off, even stained with cum as it is. ） We can agree on limits and mitigating steps, and I know you'd stop me if you had to. I like that you let me hold you down. I like that you like it.
（ a soft hum. then, apparently, he alights on the deciding factor: ）
What would make you feel closest to me? No wrong answers.
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We have time. I don't see why we can't do both.
[It's an unconscious reflection of earlier thoughts. He levers himself onto the right elbow, careful not to jar his body too much around the plug as he watches Cy eat.]
They both make me feel close to you in different ways. But, if I had to choose... if there was only one of those available tonight, then... I was already in the mindset of the second — being held down. I want to experience what that's like between us, because I've been thinking about it since the beginning. Since you first used those words on me.
[It should be clear what he means.]
Is there more we need to discuss before doing that?
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（ brb chewing again. he swallows, thumbs a bit of cream from the corner of his mouth and then gives said thumb a slow, considering suck. ）
I guess it's down to how you want to frame it, though. I'm down to get into the acting side of it, but where're you at on that?
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Acting... You mean, a scene?
cw: cnc mentions/hard bdsm foray oop
（ he considers how to delineate this for a long moment, setting aside the last third of the cake for later with a few additional perfunctory scrapes of his fork to clean the cream from the plate. ）
Let's take spanking for example. There's a difference between me putting you over my knee and saying you've been naughty （ a playful lift of his eyebrows ） versus, hell — having you dress in a uniform and have a room set up like a class, me acting like a teacher that's pissed off you cheated on a test. The second one might involve something like a spanking, making you stand naked for 'examination', or writing lines on the chalkboard or whatever else we agree on because it makes it more immersive, easy to kinda put yourself into a different mindset. The first one's more heat of the moment kinky — the second one has a set-up, a fully roleplayed scenario, and you try not to 'break character' so to speak.
（ he reaches for sasuke, just sort of neatly grabbing him and pulling him astride his hips as he settles back down in his post-cake life, oop. ）
What I meant here was more — do you want me to lean into that sorta spur of the moment kinky talk? I think a full-on set-up for a scene that leans into rape-play would require a lot more discussion first, clear boundaries and limits and a set-up that makes it pretty different from how we normally have sex. I wouldn't do it here, for instance — my room or yours. That sort of thing needs to be really clearly disparate. Does that make sense?
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Cy moves him, coaxing a low sound as he's repositioned across the man's hips, jolting the plug still nestled inside his ass. His hand reflexively flashes out to Cy's shoulder for stability.]
I understand. I'd like to try it eventually, but it isn't a scenario to take lightly, and we should prepare as you say. As for this time — [his hand wanders up, fingers playing with dark strands of hair at the back of Cy's head.] Yes. I want to hear you speak that way.
[Thoughtful, just for the space of a moment.]
Would it help if I also played into that sort of talk?
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（ he turns his head for no other reason than to nuzzle at sasuke's palm, pressing a kiss flat against it. his hands settle against the boy's thighs, fingers flexing lightly, pressing down. ）
After that I'll need a break, though.
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You've said before that it would be hard on you. [Sasuke hasn't forgotten that explanation, although now it makes him wonder whether this is right to request.] Are you sure? I don't mind if we go with your first suggestion. I only wanted to spend time with you today.
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（ he tips his head into sasuke's hand, giving him a fond little smile. because that's the kicker, isn't it? he'd never suggest it with someone who wasn't receptive, and he'd never try it with someone whose only driving factor was pleasing him rather than an earnest enjoyment of their own.
but sasuke — their preferences align along similar, shattering lines. and he won't make sasuke feel badly for what he wants when cy is driven by the same sorts of things. ）
Besides, you'll look after me. That's the whole point.
（ he slaps sasuke's thigh, just enough to sting. ）
Remember your safeword?
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He did not lie. At this point, there's little he wouldn't do for Cy. It is even harder to imagine a life without him, a fact made most stark when they're separated, but he is trying not to let it show to any disruptive degree. That sort of dependency... it would only be a burden. He's more mature now; he knows how to face the uncertainty of the future, and he can apply that to the instability of these dimensions.
Or so he assures himself.
The slap jolts Sasuke from these thoughts with a sharp little breath, sitting straighter on Cy's lap.]
I'll take care of you. [As solemn as an oath.] And yes, I remember it. I also have this. [His right hand lifts, dangling the bell from his middle finger with a bright chime.]
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（ the silk tail is corralled in one hand, and then gently looped over sasuke's head to cradle the back of his neck, where it's tugged until it pulls him in for a deep, soft kiss. ）
Sit up for a sec, I'll take the plug out. Once I've got it, I'm going to flip us and push you down. I'll pin your hand against your back — you can struggle if you want to, if you try to close your thighs I'll drag them apart and leave bruises — and then I'll fuck you. I'll try not to do anything we haven't discussed or anything that's like... spontaneous. I know it can be kinda a mood killer, but if anything veers off course I'm going to stop and we'll talk first.
（ another little kiss, like punctuation as sasuke obeys him with a flex of his thighs. cy adjusts to support his weight so he can relax and then reaches between sasuke's legs — with a meaningful, possessive palming of his cock first — to ease the plug out. he doesn't want to deal with trying to find a place to put it so they can clean it later so instead he just yeets it into the void. it's a problem for later. ）
I'll use lube because I don't want to hurt you, but I'll probably use language as if I won't or wouldn't, things like 'fucking you dry'. And — it's a different psychological space to get into, so you may or may not get off. Both are fine — there's no right or wrong way to react to this. Afterwards let's debrief together and maybe hit the showers, then we can get back into the marathon, okay?
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cw from here-on out: negotiated noncon dabbling
so happy for them
it's all downhill from here (cw for actual noncon refs oop)
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cw: breeding meta......
Dawn of the 1st Day: sixty-nine (nice) other kinks remaining
their eternal kink journey continues
🤡🤡
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speaking of typos me @ me i just wanna talk
felt 🥲
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we were overdue a freakout i guess
this is so tame for an uchiha freakout he hasn't tried to sew bits of cy to his tiddy yet
i mean. i guess i can put that on the list.
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cw: rape-play mention
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