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[hallowing]

@torontonian

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[chokuto]

[He releases a thin stream of breath, leaning forward, setting his cheek against the curve of Cy's shoulder. His brow is warm where the impression of that kiss lingers on his skin.]

This wasn't supposed to be about me today.

[There is a part of him that wishes to expunge this at last between them, however it may be done — yet he remains hesitant, reluctant to tarnish this moment with the dark stain of his own history.]

[hallowing]

（ he presses his palms to sasuke's cheeks, thumbing at the strong lines of elegant curving bone there. ）

You're not the one making it about you.

（ sasuke's eternal desire not to take up time, or space, or affection. because he thinks those things haven't been earned, aren't deserved. it isn't like cy's ignorant to the fact that he's left sins in his wake — the space between what sasuke's said and what he's held back is subsumed by death, and loss, and blood — and there's enough of it on his hands alone that it stirs kulo vayn to wakefulness in his mind. ）

I know it's not a good story. But there's nothing you can put on me that I can't handle, for no reason beyond the fact it's been the thing to put you here in front of me.

[chokuto]

[If he was going to put this tale into anyone's hands by his own will, a wound so raw he's carried it with him his entire life — it would be Cy. In the Netherworld, he had so much less of a choice. He could not control what came out of his mouth when his mind was halved by darker thoughts; still, he feels the sore pain of those truths turned back against him like blades, punishing.

So it is better, now, where he is safe in Cy's presence. Yet Sasuke hesitates a little longer, his arm slipping around the man's waist as he tucks his head further into an overwarm throat. His voice is halting, but low and set.]

I'm accustomed to everyone knowing my past. It was no secret in my world due to its infamy. I could not go anywhere without being recognized for who I was, and what had happened to my clan.

But the truth was withheld for most of my life and revealed only once it was too late. [A steadying breath, inhaling the familiar scent of Cy's skin.] My village schemed to eradicate my clan. The Uchiha were incredibly powerful, as I've already told you, and incredibly feared because of that power. There was a faction among them, who — after facing years of prejudice, isolation, segregation from the village leaders — had decided to perform a coup d'état. My father spearheaded this plan. He was the Police Chief and clan head, so everyone respected to him, listened to him, and rallied behind him.

The village, having learned what my clan was planning, enlisted... my older brother as their agent to be used against my father. I didn't know what was going on. It confused me when the two of them began to grow apart. I was desperate for their attention and their affection, but I was in the dark, because I was only a child.

[His right hand smooths over Cy's back in a wandering pattern, as if soothing himself with the act more than he means to soothe Cy.]

In the end, my brother was given an ultimatum. Either he must stop his own clan or the leaders would do it themselves, which would destabilize the village. My brother knew this. You know my world is a volatile place; something like that would bring war to us almost certainly. So he massacred the clan under their direction. But he did not kill me — because he couldn't.

[It gets stuck in his throat, then. He loved me.]

I was eight. He didn't tell me. I thought he'd killed them out of heartlessness. I spent most of my life hating him, trying to kill him for the sake of revenge. And I succeeded.

[hallowing]

（ the political machinations that surround war, or peace, or the precipice between the two are not esoteric to him. sasuke unfolds his history like the bloody furl of a battle standard, and cy can read between the lines. the things he doesn't say. his older brother must have been a child too, which makes it ache all the more. what an ugly fucking story.

he'd guessed at some of it. pieces slotted together like a puzzle box, from the few things sasuke laid bare, let slip. the way he had reacted to certain things, how he had resisted warmth and affection so incredibly at first and then became so desperately dependent upon it. a boy who had everyone he loved ripped away by such a tender age would be drawn to an immortal who can't be called to death's heel like a dog. cy had proved it to him the first moment they'd met — that time could not touch him, nor blades bite.

sasuke pets him like a worry stone, and cy shifts from his knees to either side of the boy's thighs, arranging his legs in a circle around his hips, crossed at the ankles behind sasuke's back. he holds him, and let the words drip like blood in the air between them, like infection excised. he strokes his hair, and imagines — ten years ago. it feels like so little time, barely a blink to him, but it's different when it's almost half your life. and he lived with it, the grief, the rage, the hate, for so long...

he wonders if it was deliberate. if his brother kept the truth from him as some form of — what, penance? but it must have been love, to hear sasuke tell it now. an awful, twisted version of it, a cruel one, but nevertheless. child soldiers never really have the chance to see what it looks like when it's not tarnished and tattered and torn, too much of their lives become informed by pain.

sasuke falls silent, and cy shifts to kiss at his hair. it's become a gesture of plain, uncomplicated affection between them.

the miracle here is not that he survived. it's that he is still capable of kindness, after everything. ）

Thank you for telling me. （ that, too, has become almost a ritual. the soft appreciation for pain shared and shouldered. cy finds the line of sasuke's jaw with one hand and gently eases him back from where he's tucked in against him, presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. ） Do you need anything from me right now?

（ there are no apologies to say, no platitudes to level, that do anything but make the focus his own hurt at the hearing. so he won't concern himself with their expression, only with being present, and listening. ）

[chokuto]

[He accommodates the change of position easily, adjusting his arm around Cy's hips as they settle, leaning with greed into the circle of that embrace.]

No. I don't think so. [Anything like — pity, or sorrow expressed, would not feel right. He's borne so much of it over the last ten years. He's worn it like another skin, another identity fashioned across himself. The past is the past; he has to accept this or he will never be able to move on. And he tells himself the he has accepted everything, even when it comes to haunt him in his sleep, or in a misplaced memory dredged up against his will. Even when this place threatens to twist him backwards in time.] I'm glad that you know now.

[Perhaps this won't be the end of it, but at least it steps him in the direction he wants to go in that honesty shared between them. A piece of vulnerability surrendered to Cy. He doesn't regret it.]

His name was Itachi — my brother.

[hallowing]

（ why did these people name their son 'weasel' tho. cy actually considers asking. and then, like the weird offhand comment sasuke once made about his eyes, he simply files it away. ）

Itachi. （ he presses his forehead to sasuke's, gently. ） Okay. I'll remember that, too. As long as I can.

[chokuto]

[It means so much to him that Cy would try to hold onto these pieces of his life — it feels special, significant. A kindness like none other he's received. That feeling grips Sasuke tightly, and he closes his eyes as they lean into each other, allowing himself to dwell in that moment for as long as it lasts. To let the moment that came before it, drenched by his family history, fade.

He wants to tell Cy how much he means to him. He can't seem to find the words.]

You should finish your cake.

[hallowing]

（ in answer, he simply opens his mouth like a bird. chirp chirp, motherfucker. ）

[chokuto]

[Obligingly, Sasuke will feed him as much of the cake as is wanted in careful bites.]

What were you planning to do the rest of today?

[hallowing]

Well, （ it's said around a mouthful of cake. god, he is so gross and obnoxious. this is the man you told your sad life story to, sasuke? this bitch??? please love yourself. ） I didn't really have any plans.

（ clearly, that has changed. ）

But hey, this hot ass twunk I'm dating insisted on being stupidly thoughtful on a fertility festival holiday I was kiiiiiinda thinking about just fucking him until we're both so dehydrated we need to learn how to breathe underwater to recoup ourselves. I don't know, maybe I'll ask him.

（ the fork is held aloft again, and he closes his mouth over it, slides backwards while making very clear eye contact. ）

Wanna fuck the day away, ma petite flamme?

[chokuto]

[Sasuke does not see gross and obnoxious — he sees only charming and silly. The lightness after what he's just shared, and the return to normalcy, are more appreciated than he can express.

'Twunk'...? Never mind, his brain is effectively clotheslined by the rest of that, eyes fastened with attentiveness to the seal of a mouth over fork tines. If he were a cat, his pupils might have dilated as if at the flick of a feather wand.]

You've said that phrase before. [His voice is lower, intent.] It's French, isn't it? What does it mean?

[Not a direct answer to Cy's question, except that he's leaning in, hand slipping beneath the hem of a shirt to caress bare warm skin, nosing up against the cut of a jawline.]

[hallowing]

'My little flame'.

（ it's said with a bit of a laugh, gusted out on a breath that smells of the cake he's being so diligently fed. and since sasuke bailed on the fork in favour of diving beneath his shirt like a baseball player stealing third, he has to pull it free himself, and gesture with it. ）

From the kanji.

[chokuto]

[Oh. The intensity in his eyes doesn't diminish, only magnified by the sentiment that translation carries — the way it hooks in his chest, snags, and threatens a debilitating bout of emotion. A careful breath readies him against it.]

I want you to teach me French. [A slow and thoughtful stroke of his palm up, mapping every step of Cy's spine.] And Chiskikani.

[He'll be a dedicated student to everything that Cy shares with him.]

But first, I want to spend the day as you suggested. [Leaning in, he steals a brief taste of sugar and strawberry from Cy's lips in a kiss. He could stand to eat sweets if it was like this.] Will you fuck me?

[hallowing]

Sweetheart, I'll teach you anything you please if you promise to look at me like that while I'm doing it.

（ kakashi would be fucking aghast at how good a student sasuke is, actually. the secret ingredient is fucking??? smh.

the kiss lingers, and cy drags his tongue along the boy's bottom lip. ）

Absolutely. Any particular which way on your mind today? I noticed you're gettin' a little more adventurous, which is like — super fucking hot, by the way. I could fuck you on your hands and knees, get you to suck my dick while I finally use that poor, neglected, possibly cursed toy on your ass... you could fuck me if you wanted to, I know it's mostly been me driving but I'm down to have you rail me too. Somethin' hard, somethin' soft, we could try bondage... hit the toystore for something that'll make you a pretty sobbing wreck for me in the prostate massage category... I'm easy.

[chokuto]

[In the most inane, sanitized moments, Cy's voice is an intoxicant for him — at times sedative when he seeks calm amid emotional turmoil, or distracting when his mind would be better turned down other paths. Yet like this, in those casual tones putting voice to obscene sexual acts, it is at its most powerful. Perhaps part of it is conditioned; it was how he'd first experienced sex with Cy in any form, pinned to a bed and spoken into that blinding orgasm on the heels of dirty fantasy.

His mouth parts at the lick of a tongue as if he means to chase it.]

You, [an abrupt beginning that is quickly abandoned. His skin is warm beneath his clothes, and his cock is somehow, infuriatingly, hard from the mere discussion of a scenario alone, which Cy may discover with a shift of weight.] I don't know how I'm supposed to choose. You've suggested too many options.

[Hopefully Cy is immune to his criticism by now.]

[hallowing]

I did mention the dehydration, right? Like, that was a thing I did?

（ oh, he has absolutely noticed, and he uses the hook of his crossed ankles to pull himself in a little more closely to sasuke's body, suggestive and playful all at once. ）

You're eighteen, you really gonna let a millenarian （ yes he has just invented this word, fuck you it works — ） one up you on raw sexual stamina?

[chokuto]

[We will go ahead and put that word with twunk in the category of 'incomprehensible Cyisms'.

A stutter of breath flees his lips, and his palm flattens on Cy's back to a more broad, full-handed stroke over skin. It takes will not to rut his hips up for friction, to prove himself overeager.]

Then... first, I want you to do what you mentioned earlier. [He doesn't know if Cy was serious, but the image has stuck in his mind like a burr.] I want to use my mouth on you, and I want you to... [teeth worry a lower lip briefly,] Do it on my face.

After that, hands and knees. I'll decide the rest later.

[Happy Valentine's Day.]

[hallowing]

Okay, but if you're even considering toys as an option, we should go now. Beat the V-Day rush, and also, I cannot guarantee I'm going to want to go anywhere for at least twenty-four hours after we start getting naked.

（ hold on he's going to come back to the facial thing. just you wait. ）

[chokuto]

I still don't know much about... toys, except for what you gave me. I'm not against it. But I'm not sure what I would choose.

[He's seen some of the freaky stuff displayed around the resort for purchase, okay, and his curiosity can't even decide where to begin.]

[hallowing]

Okay. We can worry about that later, then.

（ it does not actually narrow their options down by any significant margin anyway. ）

So, you want me to come all over your face, huh? Sexually, it's called a 'facial'. Personally, I'd say, painting the Mona Lisa with a baby baster but weirdly that's never caught on?

（ who lets this man open his mouth and use words, part 89283479³ ）

[chokuto]

[The awfulness of that euphemism would have more effect if Sasuke was not from fantasy shinobiland.]

I don't know what Mona Lisa is.

[Truthfully, he's far more interested in the 'facial' information.]

Have people named every sexual act? [Better to confront than, yes, he does in fact want Cy to... what had he said? Glaze his face like a cinnamon bun?] I suppose that one is straightforward.

[hallowing]

She's a work of art.

（ he leans in close, grinding his hips just a little as he nips at the bridge of sasuke's nose. ）

She's got nothing on you, though.

（ hello, you're gorgeous, he will tell you incessantly. ）

And ah, yeah? A lot of 'em, anyway. New shit's always being reinvented, or rediscovered, and renamed, so it's weird like that, but some stuff's pretty basic and holds up over time. I don't remember when 'facial' became popular, actually... Anyway — just make sure you close your eyes when I warn you and don't open them until I clean you off after, okay? Jizz fucking stings.

[chokuto]

[That is... incredibly romantic, and spoken so off-handedly that all he can do is bear it with a self-aware flush. Please, have mercy on his never-speak-thy-feelings conservative upbringing. He won't last at this rate.]

Simple enough instructions.

[The burn of warmth is more targeted now as he imagines what it will be like in the act; his hand slips lower on Cy's back, petting at a hip, voice made a little thready for that grind. Predictably, his cock responds with a dull pulse of arousal.]

Can we do it now? I've been thinking about that since I did it last. Using my mouth on you.

[hallowing]

Sweetheart, if I ever say 'no' to 'can I suck your cock right now', I want you to slap me because I am probably an alien.

（ ... well, he is technically an alien, but — semantics.

cy transmats the remainder of the cake off the bed and onto that shitty nightstand, and then flexes his thighs around sasuke's hips and Does a Barrel Roll that switches their positions neatly, cradling sasuke against his body in their little tangle on the bed.

he nuzzles in playfully at his cheek, lands an exaggerated kiss complete with the muah! sound affect and then plants a hand square in the middle of the boy's chest and shoves him — not hard, but enough to suggest he's got a position to assume on his knees on the floor. maybe sasuke will notice that he snuck a towel in there with a little void magic for him to kneel on and cushion the position, or maybe he'll just think it was already there because he's a bit messy — hard to say. ）

You wanna be naked? Not naked? And — （ a glance down, with one eyebrow very raised. ） Should I be telling you no getting off from this? I wanna gargle with your first load of the day, swallow that bad boy right on top of the cake you so thoughtfully brought for me.

[chokuto]

[The position is assumed with a diligence reflected in the gleam of mismatched eyes, sinking to knees on the towel, absent any hesitation. The way his gaze slips to the crotch of Cy's slacks says enough for the hunger of his need — he needs no preamble, no teaching exercise of fingers on his tongue, testing that give at the back of his throat.

Cy's language is not a surprise, but it cracks only a little of his focused haze; he huffs, mouth an almost-wry twist.]

Evocative. I won't come, then. [Definitive acceptance of this rule. The warm pool of arousal in his belly only thickens; he presses his thighs together, feeling his cock twitch. He does like being told that, as if Cy has taken some invisible rein of control over his body.] ... I want to be naked. What we did that time, where you were dressed and I wasn't, was enjoyable.

[Is that pattern of degradation kink emerging more clearly yet? In any case, he begins stripping himself with brusque movements. Almost tongue-in-cheek, at the same time —]

I'm glad you liked the cake.