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[hallowing]

@torontonian

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[hallowing]

I know.

（ it's acknowledgement rather than dismissal, and he just — lets himself be held for a moment. vulnerability is something he's had to learn to show by aching degrees, because there was a time when he would have rather people thought his mind as invincible as his body. but it's easy here because they've made it easy.

he butts his head lightly against sasuke's, and then turns his head to seek out a kiss. ）

Au-delà du temps.

[chokuto]

Au-delà du temps.

[The butt of that head is met gently, and then he turns it into a cat-like nuzzle, twisting slightly around in the man's lap for a more proper cuddle. His messy thighs are a bit of a problem that prevent him from shifting the seat of his weight too far, lest he smear them everywhere, but for now — he likes wearing Cy's come on his skin.]

Do you want to take a shower, or eat breakfast first?

[hallowing]

Shower, definitely.

（ he doesn't mind the mess — evidenced by the fact that he hooks one hand beneath sasuke's knee and pulls him into a straddle of cy's hips, smearing the mess on them both. ）

I want to bend you over and lather up every part of you. Start fresh and clean before I spend the rest of the day wrecking you.

（ another nudge of his head, dragging stubble against sasuke's cheek. these boys are catcoded forreal. ）

Shower, breakfast in bed, and then the collar's going on and it's not coming off until the next time I have to clean you up.

[chokuto]

[There's a hitch of breath as he's maneuvered around in Cy's lap, both of them made messy, his own cock still rigid between his thighs as a testament to the determined force of attraction he feels toward Cy. He ignores it to the best of his ability — because Cy told him, because he wants to do well. That approval-seeking part of him has become so much stronger around this man.

Catcoded by rubbing all over each other to communicate affection, it's true. He turns it easily, arm forming a secure loop around Cy's shoulders to stabilize his perch.]

I wish we had our own shower. [So Cy could actually do unnamable things to him in there, and he wouldn't care if there were people around.] And a kitchen. I want to cook breakfast for you.

[hallowing]

I would love to see you in a cute little apron and nothing else. One of those kitschy ones that says 'kiss the cook'.

（ so! incredibly! cat-coded! cy contents himself at long last by just resting his cheek against the crown of sasuke's hair and luxuriating in the afterglow. ）

Look, it'd be dangerous if we had fewer incentives to actually leave our room. Marathon sex, shower, marathon sex, breakfast — we could go weeks without so much as talking to another soul.

（ there's a contented little rumble in his chest, and then: ）

I just want the room to build a fucking machine for you. That's one fantasy that hasn't left my head. Think you're ready for that one big dildo we picked up a while back?

（ at the time its circumference had been... shall we say, aspirational. but they've been working on the training for it, and sasuke's such a goddamned overachiever that almost makes it easy — determined to push, to prove himself, to be good. and cy likes seeing him take it, likes watching his thighs shake and his teeth catch on his lip as he wills himself to relax. teaching his body not to fight intrusion but to invite it — tears pricking at his eyes even as he begs for more. ）

[chokuto]

Ah. You're probably right.

[Idle agreement to the former comment — because, yes, he can see how it might be problematic if they have everything they need in one place. It's so easy to lose time with Cy. Naturally, sex is a considerable part of that, but even without it — the man's company and conversation are both so integral to his days now.]

... Of course you're thinking of that. [Fond, not any true criticism. The idea seduces him just as well — and offers more motivation to find a larger space, to better practice out their desires.] Should we try? Can you do it while also using the humbler on me, or will that be too much?

[As it is, too, in his nature to push his limits. He knows Cy will guide him, will hold him at his limits if it seems he's pushing too far, too fast. Perhaps it only makes him more eager, like he's trying to prove himself — but really, he's loved every minute of their experimentation of larger toy sizes. There's something about the burn, about feeling almost that he can't move — and having Cy look down on him with that sear of approval.]

[hallowing]

（ he laughs a little, turning into a hot gust of breath against sasuke's shoulder, punctuated by a drag of his teeth. ）

One thing at a time, don't be impatient. I was thinking for the fucking machine.

（ then, more seriously — ）

The CBT shit's probably gonna be a lot. I don't want to add other elements to it until you've had a chance to sort out whether or not you're into it. Then we can get a little freaky if it's something you want to explore more.

（ his tone stays light and playfully fond — not wanting it to seem like a criticism or some aspersion on sasuke's capacity for tolerance. ）

[chokuto]

[There's no disagreement, just a slight tilt of his head in consideration of those words. They've experimented enough at this point Sasuke knows to trust the pace Cy sets for them — even if he might feel ready for more.]

All right. That sounds fine.

[He shifts in Cy's lap, arousal flagging enough to return awareness to his own naked skin and the drying wetness between them.]

First, take us to the shower and lather me in soap like you promised.

[hallowing]

Bossy, bossy.

（ but it's said good-naturedly, as he drags his fingers through the mess deliberately, and then promptly uses it to muss up sasuke's hair. what? they're getting clean anyway!!

it's punctuated by using a grip in the strands at the back of his neck to pull him in for another deep, aching kiss — and then he nuzzles at his cheek. ）

Eyes closed. You'll be standing when we pop in, so don't lose your balance.

（ and then, with another kiss, he moves them through the void. the shower stall is one they frequent together often, that he's privately come to consider as being 'theirs' — and as per ritual he nudges sasuke to stand out of the spray of the water while he turns it on so he can adjust the temperature. it seems like these fucking pipes never produce the same one twice over, which is just par for the course with their shitty living conditions, but hey. once he's satisfied, he pulls the box of soaps and toiletries from under his bed to him, and then pushes it at sasuke so he can put it into the alcove in the wall.

then it's a matter of grabbing sasuke by the wrist and man-handling him against the cool tile. being rougher than he needs to be, because he knows sasuke likes it when he uses his strength against him — crowding in close, one knee between his thighs, greater size caging him against the wall. hot breath against sasuke's ear, whisper nearly drowned out by the water — ）

So, what did you do to earn this torment?

（ now that sasuke's gotten a taste for roleplay, he's well-positioned to come up with suggestions on his own. ）

[chokuto]

[He bats half-heartedly at that hand in his hair, no real attempt to dislodge it beyond the appearance of a fuss — he doesn't truly mind Cy making him messy in any capacity. And that alone is novel, because he would mind it with someone else.

A nod, an eager return of that kiss, and then they're in the shower room. Cy begins to take care of him, no effort lost in the demonstration of that love, all of the small details in how he's nudged away from the first spray of water, how Cy collects their things, how Cy pushes him back toward the wall. It takes his breath every time — and it makes him want to return even a fraction of what Cy inspires in him, evident in how quickly he sets the box in the alcove and then cleaves to Cy's body in that slide of wet skin. An intimacy all its own, too, and one he's learned to crave. Sleeping, bathing, sharing meals together... He wants that to fill his days forever.

At the question, he juts his chin up daringly.]

I could be your enemy. [So the T in CBT has inspired him a little.] Perhaps you've managed to capture me.

[hallowing]

（ one hand drops down between sasuke's legs, long fingers folding over his cock and balls, squeezing just a little — waiting for sasuke to squirm a bit before releasing him and turning the gesture into a loving stroke. ）

On the battlefield. （ look,,, ） And now I've brought you back to my side, where I'll treat you as an enemy deserves.

（ he leans in, pressing a soft bite against the side of sasuke's throat. ）

I want to see you humiliated. Broken. Used. You've resisted me for far too long, and I'm going to make you pay for it in pain.

（ he sinks to his knees, keeping sasuke pinned against the wall with one palm levered against his belly. he kisses a line up sasuke's cock, laves the head of it with his tongue. then, with a warning: ）

Don't come. Stop me when you're close — the next time you come I want it to be during our scene. When you're spent and ruined, and I've made you mine by right of conquest.

（ he rubs his cheek against him, stubble scraping the delicate skin of his shaft, and then closes his mouth around the head of his cock. one hand drops to circle its base, squeezing to restrict the bloodflow as he works. more than anything, he wants the taste of sasuke in his mouth, the weight of him almost meditative on his tongue, milking precome from his pretty cock with a slow suck. ）

[chokuto]

[The noises that treatment evokes are lost beneath the spray of water, a gentle hum like rain slowly filling the small space with mist and steam as it heats. And it isn't the first time they've gotten handsy with each other here, so Sasuke is a little more lax now — less concerned with the thought of someone else intruding upon them. Not that he can think much at all when Cy moves like this, single-minded in the extraction of pleasure or pain, breathtaking in how attractive he looks folding down to his knees on the cool tile.

And that mouth, most of all, has spelled out his own ruin too many times to count by now. He's not used to holding out against it — Cy is too good at this, swallowing him down in one slick movement until it's just pressure and heat around his cock. The tight circle of fingers at the root keeps him blessedly on the edge.]

The torment has already begun if you're doing this to me. [The complaint isn't meant with any seriousness given the way his thighs fall apart, obliging, letting the wall hold more of his weight.] Cy — do you want me to resist, and to act like I hate it? Or...

[There's a shiver, right hand falling to Cy's wet hair and cradling behind his head for something to hold.]

Should I show that I like it? When you break me.

[hallowing]

（ there's no accounting for how that question is like its own aphrodisiac, or how his own cock twitches between his thighs, thickening with an urgency of want he's not generally gripped by. he pulls back from sasuke with a wet pop of his mouth, pressing an open-mouthed kiss against one thigh. ）

What would you like more?

（ both scenarios appeal for different reasons. sasuke beneath him sobbing and begging him to stop is certainly an image not easily scraped from his mind. so too does the though of him starting defiant and then learning to crave submission, a black mirror of their trajectory in the casino, call to him.

yet — ultimately, he cares more about what sasuke wants than pursuing any one specific train of fantasy. ）

[chokuto]

[The momentary relief of that mouth's absence allows his thoughts to flow, less fogged, right hand smoothing Cy's hair off a wet brow with aching affection.]

I don't know. Usually, I surrender more quickly as the scene progresses... because it feels so good. [Perhaps in those moments he is too honest to help himself.] But this time, I could try to hold out longer. So that being broken and forced to submit is what changes me.

[Rather than a submission he's longed for, one brought out by a harsh hand — which is closer to the truth of what Cy summons awake and alive in him.]

You've probably noticed, but I don't have a lot of practice at it. Playing a role. I've only ever known how to be myself. [His own circumstances made it impossible to be anything else.] But I like the idea, pretending. And improving at it.

[hallowing]

（ another soft kiss, the hand easing back from sasuke's cock to stroke down one leg and close around his ankle as he noses at his balls, paying them gentle attention here perhaps in anticipation of what they've agreed to later. ）

It would've been impossible to hide who you were. （ the sharingan made the uchiha infamous, but as one of only two living bearers, it would have been worse. itachi's death would have only intensified it. ） But you've got a natural talent for the acting part. I'd enjoy that — you resisting.

（ his attention shifts back to the head of sasuke's cock, and he laps at it, catlike. ）

I think I said something like this before, back during the cat ear debacle, but I wanna say it again while we're both clearheaded. （ he sits back on his haunches, looking up at sasuke more seriously, one hand still circling his ankle, the other petting in little strokes against his belly. then — ） I love doing this stuff with you. The BDSM, the roleplay, all the rest. But it's not something I need from you. I'd be happy making love to you for the rest of your life, just getting lost in your eyes. If the rougher stuff ever becomes something you lose the taste for, you won't lose me to say it. It doesn't even need to be sex. Just being with you would be enough for me, beyond time.

[chokuto]

[The compliment, and Cy's confirmation of enjoyment — both serve to veer his mind in that direction, imagining how it will be to play into that defiant role. The closest they've managed such a scenario came from within genjutsu, but Sasuke finds himself eager to recreate it in reality now.

It hasn't taken much for his cock to thicken with arousal after the morning's denial; he squirms at the renewed attention, lips pressed into a thin line to keep down any noise. The skin of his balls, naturally tender and sensitive to touch, only makes it worse — and then Cy dares to broach such sentiment. It seems to wash over him warm and sweet as spring rain, so that when he blinks his eyes feel damp, shower water disguising it but for a slight reddening in the whites.]

Okay.

[The word is — roughened with that emotion. He swallows, tries again.]

I understand. I don't need it either, but... I like doing it with you too. I might have gone the rest of my life without experiencing real pleasure, and I wouldn't have known enough to miss it. So, thank you for showing me. [He feels his ankle twitch beneath Cy's hand, gently nudging with wet toes into the touch.] There may be times where we do these things less, and that will be fine with me. All I care about is being at your side.

[Sasuke recognizes that he was always capable of communicating his heart like this — at some point, it had just become too difficult, until Cy showed him there was no shame or fear in it.]

I mean it, though. I like that you're my Dom. No one else's.

[hallowing]

（ cy leans briefly against his thigh, head bowed with sentiment. sasuke's hand is still in his hair, and he's grateful for the gravity of the contact. his voice is rather less rough, but that's just his experience in handling knives that does it, as he murmurs — ）

When did you get to be such a sap, beloved? （ the circle of his fingers against sasuke's ankle tightens in acknowledgement of that touch, and his thumb strokes against the jut of the medial bone. ） I like that too. In reverse, anyway.

（ there's a soft laugh, huffed out against sasuke's skin as he lifts his head, returning his attention to sasuke's cock. between kisses — ）

Anything off limits for this scene, to say or do?

[chokuto]

[He makes a soft sound, though it soon devolves into a hitched breath at the mouth that returns to his cock, wet with water and so hot, given Cy's natural body temperature. It tightens fingers slightly in Cy's hair; he tries not to pull, but the flex of knuckles indicates a repressed urge.

I was always capable of it, he almost admits. That there was once a child free and open with his thoughts and feelings, who ran to his mother for love, his father for praise, and his older brother for — everything. But he suspects Cy is aware of this already. That hidden compassion he'd called out only the second time they'd ever met.]

Hm. I'm not really certain.

[But he still tries to imagine what might cross a line if he encountered it during a scene.]

... Anything about Itachi. Though, you probably know that. It's fine to use my status as the last of the Uchiha, I think we've done that somewhat before. I'm accustomed to the title as long as it isn't used more specifically to refer to my family members. Or... the truth about what happened. Does that makes sense?

[hallowing]

（ his palm slips down from sasuke's stomach, overlapping sasuke's in his hair, and he demonstrates a tighter grip before briefly patting at the boy's knuckles and shifting away again. he doesn't mind if he wants to get a little rough. ）

Mm. Yeah. And I won't call you weak, either.

（ he wants to show sasuke he remembers that from months ago, now. then: ）

I was thinking of a couple scenarios — maybe one where I'm threatening to throw you to my men if you don't please me, or maybe fucking you in front of them as a way to demoralize your side. （ his hand curls around sasuke's cock, stroking down its length and giving him space to pay mind to his balls again. he pulls one into his mouth with a gentle suck, nosing into the other before pulling away. ） Maybe the other, I'm threatening to use you as breeding stock to strengthen my army. Either you as a male, maybe being forced to impregnate girls in my harem, or turning you into a woman and all the accompanying filthy language — any thoughts?

[chokuto]

[A nod of affirmation to that first part, and then he tightens the grip of his hand as directed, tugging in response to the way Cy's lips work at his balls — there's a whimper just behind his teeth, shut tight.]

We could... combine those. [How did Cy know he was going to ask for an element of breeding? The interest shows in the twitch of his cock beneath that hand, arousal pooling molten in his belly.] Turning me into a woman so you can use me for children, and if I don't do well enough at that, then you'll give me to the other men for it.

[Now his voice rasps with more than emotion, squirming renewed against the wall of the shower.]

But not right away. First, you torture me as a man. [He's come to find these discussions a stimulating sort of foreplay — mismatched eyes bright with interest.] You can do it to me as a woman, too, if you want. With my... breasts.

[The day he says 'titties' out loud he will be truly changed.]

[hallowing]

（ there's a chuckle, and the hand lifts from sasuke's ankle to cup his balls, turning the grip into a gentle massage, and then a downward tug. ）

I can do that. （ wants to, in fact. honestly, he's perfectly aware that sasuke can make clones and that it's an element he wants to add one day, but getting him to swap sexes is causing significant hyperfocus.

it's probably the titties. ） Have you thought about the type of torture you want on your balls? I'd prefer to keep it to a low number, but I'll let you pick.

[chokuto]

[His ability to participate in this conversation is beginning to degrade slightly, hand forming a fist against Cy's scalp at the tug on his balls where the skin is tight and close to his body.]

Type...? You mean, more than the humbler? I haven't thought of anything. Do you have — suggestions?

[Breath comes a little quicker, obviously affected.]

[hallowing]

（ sasuke's breath quickens, and cy eases back. intending fully to ruin the build of an orgasm, he simply stops all attention to both cock and balls, and instead shifts forward on his knees to press a kiss against sasuke's stomach. ）

I could whip them. Not too hard. I could spank you, and put the occasional swat against them. I could make you sit on them and then exert force in your lap. Wax can be fun, electricity — probably something more like the prod than the electrodes like last time? There's all kinds of things you can do — obviously, nothing that's going to cause permanent damage.

[chokuto]

You, [a sharp breath in, almost unable to control the way his hips buck to chase that mouth, frustrated moan smothered low in his throat.] — you're awful, teasing me like this.

[Fussy, but not a sentiment he truly means outside the sexual torment.]

I can't decide. There are too many options. But, the first few you mentioned, where you're the one hitting me... [Maybe he's too biased by the fact of how badly he wants Cy to touch him now, but the thought is appealing, almost overwhelmingly so.] I like those. Where it's you, controlling me.

[Whipping, spanking, being forced to sit — it's a potent fume of lust that crowds out his mind of all thought.]

I trust you with any of it.

[hallowing]

I told you I wanted to edge you.

（ it's said with endearing innocence as he leans back in, kissing sasuke's cock at the glans. ）

Would you rather come?

（ yes, clearly the other conversation is on a brief hold, because he wants sasuke to either get off, or admit he doesn't want to. ）