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[hallowing]

@torontonian

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cy: 'torture tho' and sasuke just (PUPILS DILATE)

[hallowing]

（ he leans in close, nuzzling at sasuke's throat. the boy's weight is negligible to him, so he requires almost no conscious thought to buck upwards into him, cock an easy glide between tight thighs as precome glazes his skin. it feels good, though part of him wishes the position was flexible enough that he could lean down and close his mouth over sasuke's cock. he probably could, if he wasn't leaning against the wall — lessons learned for next time. ）

If I put you in a humbler, （ he'd talked about that before, and has since pointed one out in a sex shop, though he hasn't purchased one yet. ） it basically holds the balls away enough from the body, forces you to your hands and knees. From there, we could figure out what sort of sensation you'd prefer. There's devices that can clamp on to the top of the humbler that can just provide pressure — or we could try something like a riding crop for that kinda sting-y pain. Either way we'd start small. Maybe work it into a full spanking.

sorry he's not right in the head

[chokuto]

[The words are almost as intoxicating as the sensation, demonstrated by how quick he is to find Cy's mouth and kiss at it, licking to taste deeper inside, greedy for every point where their bodies can connect. Only after he's flushed and breathless does he relent, lips wet where they press against Cy's cheek, then his ear, then into the soft tuck of skin behind it.]

Then let's try it — the humbler. [As if he isn't already carried away by the idea alone — more urgency in the buck of hips, his own hand slipping down to cover Cy's, reshaping the grip of fingers to include his balls in a tighter squeeze.] I like the idea. I think that I would like the pain, too.

look they both aren't. it's wildly mutual of them.

[hallowing]

（ cy takes the cue easily, and takes it a step further — nudging sasuke to wrap his own hand around his cock, while cy envelops his balls in a gentle squeeze, compressing them with a knead of his fingers. ）

We'll find out.

（ he leans his cheek against sasuke's, and then murmurs: ）

Don't come. I wanna spend the day edging you. Think you can do that for me?

（ he's explained to sasuke in the past that if he comes by mistake it's not a big deal — that cy likes it both ways. the discipline of obeying him to a fault, and the idea of having driven the boy so far he can't help himself. perhaps that's why the question is soft, spoken as he nuzzles at him, catlike. ）

🥺 when the chemistry hits

[chokuto]

[It's almost cruel — that squeeze sending a throb of pleasure through him on the very edge of dull discomfort, a line delicately and deliberately straddled. While he's used to the sensitive places of his body, this one feels new and unplumbed; he's not accustomed to how tender it feels having his balls kneaded, vulnerability set in the center of Cy's warm palm, enough that his heels drag on the sheets as if he's just repressed a thrash.]

Unfair. [Huffed out, barely audible — but certainly not a refusal.] ... I'll do it for you.

[Or he'll try, as much as he's able. The way his thighs clamp together is less for Cy's dick wedged between them than it is his own attempt to tamp down on the building urgency in the pit of his belly.]

Is there... something that can help prevent it?

[hallowing]

Yeah. There's a couple things you can do.

（ he lets the touch ease to a gentle cradle, thumb working over tender flesh. ）

There's numbing gels and creams that people use to reduce sensation. They help, but unless you're keen on the idea I'd rather not. I want you to feel it. Cock rings can make you last longer, a chastity cage can make people feel desperate and on edge but doesn't let them get fully hard because of the constriction. It depends on what you want to feel.

（ he nudges against sasuke's temple, kissing his cheek. ）

I think you'd like chastity cages, but you're still new enough to doing anything sexual that I'd be leery of doing anything that makes arousal feel like a punishment just yet. You've come a long way, but I don't want to put you in a position where you feel like what I'm after is not letting you come at all, and not just the fact that I like controlling you that way. What do you think?

[chokuto]

I want to feel it too.

[This is agreed without hesitation, breath snagging a bit on the words as he feels the pressure of that grasp ease, smoothing sensitive nerve-ends.

Cy's guidance is helpful — he soaks it in, as always, even with his attention split down the middle.]

You're probably right. [Given his own issues up to this point around pleasuring himself, he understands why Cy is being careful.] So, we could try the ring. It may not prevent an orgasm, but at least it might help me resist a little longer.

[hallowing]

Okay.

（ he leaves his balls alone for now — plenty of time for that now they've decided on what their after-breakfast activity can be — and just braces his hand overtop sasuke's on his cock as he guides the boy to stroke himself gently. another thrust of his cock breaches the tight channel of sasuke's thighs, feeling almost like relief after the constriction. it does not, notably, stop him from dragging his hips downward again, rutting against him unhurried and sensual. ）

And it's okay if you come early, too. （ a bit of an apologetic little butt of his head. apologetic only because he knows he's said this before — but he hopes that sasuke will take it as care rather than nagging. ） You know I like it.

[chokuto]

I know.

[Under the temperance of Cy's hand, he doesn't touch himself too roughly — led in slow, gentled strokes that draw out the pleasure until he's tensed with it, crossing his knees tighter to restrict the gap between his thighs. He likes watching Cy's cock slide between them, near enough to brush against their joined knuckles.]

And I like doing what you tell me to do, so... I'll try.

[He tips his chin, seeking a kiss.]

But I want to make you come, at least. All over my thighs.

[hallowing]

Yeah, that's not gonna be a challenge.

（ it's said with a breathless huff of laughter, as he leans into sasuke more heavily, letting him take his weight. ）

Wanna try talking me through it?

（ a little bit of give and take. ）

cw: more pregnancy kink 🤡

[chokuto]

[He makes a thoughtful sound, enjoying the negligible burden of Cy's weight in that lean for the warmth it shares between them, pressing his mouth to Cy's chin, dragging lips across roughened stubble in tactile contact. He considers what to say. In the intervening weeks, he's tried boldness — but in those cases, he often had the resort's influence clearing away any uncertainty. Not like this, clear-minded except for the fog of sleep slowly beginning to recede.]

I like feeling your body against me. [A shift, rubbing his thighs together just to feel where the muscular flesh has dented in the squeeze of that tight furrow.] I like how hot your cock feels. It's hotter than the rest of you, even though you're warm everywhere, right here, it's... [To demonstrate, he frees his right hand to cup over the head of Cy's cock where it slips in a messy glaze. He rubs over the tip in open-palmed strokes, thumb edging in at the slit and gathering the fresh, slippery strings of precome to smear into his own thighs like obscene artwork.] I could stay this way for hours if you wanted me to, just letting you use my thighs.

[He doesn't look at Cy's face as he speaks — some of his own bravery requires a slip into that meditative state of thought, laying his cheek against the round curve of Cy's shoulder. His breath is a whisper on skin.]

I want to wake up with you in our bed for the rest of my life. So I can roll over, put my mouth on you first until you're hard on my tongue, until I can't breathe, and then I'll sit on your cock — I want that, every day. Every morning. [He rolls his hips, simulating that act of penetration as he drags the clench of his thighs against Cy's dick.] And... I want to have your children.

[He tilts his head, mouth ticklish at Cy's ear.]

I want you to fill me up. Every morning, until it takes, until you've made me pregnant. [Now his hand moves, catching one of Cy's to place it over his belly in a deliberate caress. A mirror of the fantasy Cy had painted, in the library.] I want you to put your child inside of me. My body will change. My stomach will swell, my breasts will get heavy. But I know you'll take care of me like that.

they just keep circling back here like an uroboros

[hallowing]

（ it may be an echo, a whisper of the words he's murmured in quiet moments, breathed low between them. but while sasuke's always been receptive of it, it's the first time he's really stepped into the fantasy for himself and sketched it into open air. cy's breath catches in his chest as if oxygen has gained an impossible gravity, outmatched only by the psychological weight.

he comes on the next upward rut of his cock between sasuke's thighs, which serves only to continue the theme of artwork in motion, that slippery, intimate glide that joins them. the shiver that grips him is almost violent, smothered down by the fact that he wraps his arms around sasuke and presses his face into the crook of his neck less to swallow the soft animal sound that follows or the tears that catch in his lashes like dew, and more just to be nearer, closer. he's never been afraid to show vulnerability with sasuke, and he wouldn't start here. there's no apology for it — he just lets himself have that moment of weakness, knowing that sasuke will hold him through it. ）

[chokuto]

[The intimacy is laid bare between them as he feels Cy come, as the press of a cheek against his shoulder brings the hot wetness of tears, and Sasuke's arm is immediate in its slide around Cy's body to cradle him close in turn. His thighs separate, stained with the pearly-white shine of release — as much evidence of love as the gentle way Cy tucks against him. Because he doesn't mean for this relationship to ever go one way; he will protect Cy as Cy protects him.]

I love you more than I can say.

[More than words or even actions could express. More than the world, the moon, all of the stars in the sky. More than he has ever loved before. And where the fear of such depth of feeling lays inside of him, there's also an exhilarating strength in it. Like he can do anything with Cy at his side.

He kisses the soft corner of an eye, then a warm temple, letting his lips linger on skin.]

[hallowing]

I know.

（ it's acknowledgement rather than dismissal, and he just — lets himself be held for a moment. vulnerability is something he's had to learn to show by aching degrees, because there was a time when he would have rather people thought his mind as invincible as his body. but it's easy here because they've made it easy.

he butts his head lightly against sasuke's, and then turns his head to seek out a kiss. ）

Au-delà du temps.

[chokuto]

Au-delà du temps.

[The butt of that head is met gently, and then he turns it into a cat-like nuzzle, twisting slightly around in the man's lap for a more proper cuddle. His messy thighs are a bit of a problem that prevent him from shifting the seat of his weight too far, lest he smear them everywhere, but for now — he likes wearing Cy's come on his skin.]

Do you want to take a shower, or eat breakfast first?

[hallowing]

Shower, definitely.

（ he doesn't mind the mess — evidenced by the fact that he hooks one hand beneath sasuke's knee and pulls him into a straddle of cy's hips, smearing the mess on them both. ）

I want to bend you over and lather up every part of you. Start fresh and clean before I spend the rest of the day wrecking you.

（ another nudge of his head, dragging stubble against sasuke's cheek. these boys are catcoded forreal. ）

Shower, breakfast in bed, and then the collar's going on and it's not coming off until the next time I have to clean you up.

[chokuto]

[There's a hitch of breath as he's maneuvered around in Cy's lap, both of them made messy, his own cock still rigid between his thighs as a testament to the determined force of attraction he feels toward Cy. He ignores it to the best of his ability — because Cy told him, because he wants to do well. That approval-seeking part of him has become so much stronger around this man.

Catcoded by rubbing all over each other to communicate affection, it's true. He turns it easily, arm forming a secure loop around Cy's shoulders to stabilize his perch.]

I wish we had our own shower. [So Cy could actually do unnamable things to him in there, and he wouldn't care if there were people around.] And a kitchen. I want to cook breakfast for you.

[hallowing]

I would love to see you in a cute little apron and nothing else. One of those kitschy ones that says 'kiss the cook'.

（ so! incredibly! cat-coded! cy contents himself at long last by just resting his cheek against the crown of sasuke's hair and luxuriating in the afterglow. ）

Look, it'd be dangerous if we had fewer incentives to actually leave our room. Marathon sex, shower, marathon sex, breakfast — we could go weeks without so much as talking to another soul.

（ there's a contented little rumble in his chest, and then: ）

I just want the room to build a fucking machine for you. That's one fantasy that hasn't left my head. Think you're ready for that one big dildo we picked up a while back?

（ at the time its circumference had been... shall we say, aspirational. but they've been working on the training for it, and sasuke's such a goddamned overachiever that almost makes it easy — determined to push, to prove himself, to be good. and cy likes seeing him take it, likes watching his thighs shake and his teeth catch on his lip as he wills himself to relax. teaching his body not to fight intrusion but to invite it — tears pricking at his eyes even as he begs for more. ）

[chokuto]

Ah. You're probably right.

[Idle agreement to the former comment — because, yes, he can see how it might be problematic if they have everything they need in one place. It's so easy to lose time with Cy. Naturally, sex is a considerable part of that, but even without it — the man's company and conversation are both so integral to his days now.]

... Of course you're thinking of that. [Fond, not any true criticism. The idea seduces him just as well — and offers more motivation to find a larger space, to better practice out their desires.] Should we try? Can you do it while also using the humbler on me, or will that be too much?

[As it is, too, in his nature to push his limits. He knows Cy will guide him, will hold him at his limits if it seems he's pushing too far, too fast. Perhaps it only makes him more eager, like he's trying to prove himself — but really, he's loved every minute of their experimentation of larger toy sizes. There's something about the burn, about feeling almost that he can't move — and having Cy look down on him with that sear of approval.]

[hallowing]

（ he laughs a little, turning into a hot gust of breath against sasuke's shoulder, punctuated by a drag of his teeth. ）

One thing at a time, don't be impatient. I was thinking for the fucking machine.

（ then, more seriously — ）

The CBT shit's probably gonna be a lot. I don't want to add other elements to it until you've had a chance to sort out whether or not you're into it. Then we can get a little freaky if it's something you want to explore more.

（ his tone stays light and playfully fond — not wanting it to seem like a criticism or some aspersion on sasuke's capacity for tolerance. ）

[chokuto]

[There's no disagreement, just a slight tilt of his head in consideration of those words. They've experimented enough at this point Sasuke knows to trust the pace Cy sets for them — even if he might feel ready for more.]

All right. That sounds fine.

[He shifts in Cy's lap, arousal flagging enough to return awareness to his own naked skin and the drying wetness between them.]

First, take us to the shower and lather me in soap like you promised.

[hallowing]

Bossy, bossy.

（ but it's said good-naturedly, as he drags his fingers through the mess deliberately, and then promptly uses it to muss up sasuke's hair. what? they're getting clean anyway!!

it's punctuated by using a grip in the strands at the back of his neck to pull him in for another deep, aching kiss — and then he nuzzles at his cheek. ）

Eyes closed. You'll be standing when we pop in, so don't lose your balance.

（ and then, with another kiss, he moves them through the void. the shower stall is one they frequent together often, that he's privately come to consider as being 'theirs' — and as per ritual he nudges sasuke to stand out of the spray of the water while he turns it on so he can adjust the temperature. it seems like these fucking pipes never produce the same one twice over, which is just par for the course with their shitty living conditions, but hey. once he's satisfied, he pulls the box of soaps and toiletries from under his bed to him, and then pushes it at sasuke so he can put it into the alcove in the wall.

then it's a matter of grabbing sasuke by the wrist and man-handling him against the cool tile. being rougher than he needs to be, because he knows sasuke likes it when he uses his strength against him — crowding in close, one knee between his thighs, greater size caging him against the wall. hot breath against sasuke's ear, whisper nearly drowned out by the water — ）

So, what did you do to earn this torment?

（ now that sasuke's gotten a taste for roleplay, he's well-positioned to come up with suggestions on his own. ）

[chokuto]

[He bats half-heartedly at that hand in his hair, no real attempt to dislodge it beyond the appearance of a fuss — he doesn't truly mind Cy making him messy in any capacity. And that alone is novel, because he would mind it with someone else.

A nod, an eager return of that kiss, and then they're in the shower room. Cy begins to take care of him, no effort lost in the demonstration of that love, all of the small details in how he's nudged away from the first spray of water, how Cy collects their things, how Cy pushes him back toward the wall. It takes his breath every time — and it makes him want to return even a fraction of what Cy inspires in him, evident in how quickly he sets the box in the alcove and then cleaves to Cy's body in that slide of wet skin. An intimacy all its own, too, and one he's learned to crave. Sleeping, bathing, sharing meals together... He wants that to fill his days forever.

At the question, he juts his chin up daringly.]

I could be your enemy. [So the T in CBT has inspired him a little.] Perhaps you've managed to capture me.

[hallowing]

（ one hand drops down between sasuke's legs, long fingers folding over his cock and balls, squeezing just a little — waiting for sasuke to squirm a bit before releasing him and turning the gesture into a loving stroke. ）

On the battlefield. （ look,,, ） And now I've brought you back to my side, where I'll treat you as an enemy deserves.

（ he leans in, pressing a soft bite against the side of sasuke's throat. ）

I want to see you humiliated. Broken. Used. You've resisted me for far too long, and I'm going to make you pay for it in pain.

（ he sinks to his knees, keeping sasuke pinned against the wall with one palm levered against his belly. he kisses a line up sasuke's cock, laves the head of it with his tongue. then, with a warning: ）

Don't come. Stop me when you're close — the next time you come I want it to be during our scene. When you're spent and ruined, and I've made you mine by right of conquest.

（ he rubs his cheek against him, stubble scraping the delicate skin of his shaft, and then closes his mouth around the head of his cock. one hand drops to circle its base, squeezing to restrict the bloodflow as he works. more than anything, he wants the taste of sasuke in his mouth, the weight of him almost meditative on his tongue, milking precome from his pretty cock with a slow suck. ）

[chokuto]

[The noises that treatment evokes are lost beneath the spray of water, a gentle hum like rain slowly filling the small space with mist and steam as it heats. And it isn't the first time they've gotten handsy with each other here, so Sasuke is a little more lax now — less concerned with the thought of someone else intruding upon them. Not that he can think much at all when Cy moves like this, single-minded in the extraction of pleasure or pain, breathtaking in how attractive he looks folding down to his knees on the cool tile.

And that mouth, most of all, has spelled out his own ruin too many times to count by now. He's not used to holding out against it — Cy is too good at this, swallowing him down in one slick movement until it's just pressure and heat around his cock. The tight circle of fingers at the root keeps him blessedly on the edge.]

The torment has already begun if you're doing this to me. [The complaint isn't meant with any seriousness given the way his thighs fall apart, obliging, letting the wall hold more of his weight.] Cy — do you want me to resist, and to act like I hate it? Or...

[There's a shiver, right hand falling to Cy's wet hair and cradling behind his head for something to hold.]

Should I show that I like it? When you break me.

[hallowing]

（ there's no accounting for how that question is like its own aphrodisiac, or how his own cock twitches between his thighs, thickening with an urgency of want he's not generally gripped by. he pulls back from sasuke with a wet pop of his mouth, pressing an open-mouthed kiss against one thigh. ）

What would you like more?

（ both scenarios appeal for different reasons. sasuke beneath him sobbing and begging him to stop is certainly an image not easily scraped from his mind. so too does the though of him starting defiant and then learning to crave submission, a black mirror of their trajectory in the casino, call to him.

yet — ultimately, he cares more about what sasuke wants than pursuing any one specific train of fantasy. ）