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[hallowing]

@torontonian

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[chokuto]

[Standing, Cy's over-the-top bow is enough to coax a faint smile to his lips — those soft words taking him the rest of the way to courage. He knows no one will be able to tell just from looking at him, but leaving the warmth and security of Cy's side to walk into public is another matter, and his first step makes that known. His pants are uncomfortably damp, a sticky mess that chafes between his legs on the entire path across the room.

There are people around him, scattered throughout the library on business either concerning the Clubs game or each other. No one looks his way, but it feels like their eyes trail him, it feels like he's still seen, the act of what he'd done known. Yet only one gaze matters — Cy's attention presses at his back like a brand as he surveys the shelves, hunting for the specified title. It takes time while his mind is stumbling over the humiliation of standing like this in the open, in his soiled underwear, but finally he sees Suheraha's Awakening tucked beside other BDSM-themed "kink journey" novels, and he turns to retreat.

The book brought directly to Cy's hands. His head hangs low, face burning hot, but — a chin soon tilts up in hope of approval.]

(timeskip)

[hallowing]

（ and that approval is given so freely, with such love. cy trails his fingers along the edges of sasuke's jaw, and there's a murmur of praise — good boy, i'm so proud of you, thank you for pushing yourself for me before he kisses him with a sort of aching gentleness.

true to his word, he doesn't make sasuke wait any longer. he drops him in their shared room, pops back so he can return the door from where it was (rightfully) stolen, and when he joins sasuke again it's to lapse into their shared ritual of cleaning and care. they eat afterwards, and then collapse into a nap that only just avoids getting frisky by virtue of both of them really wanting sleep more than sex — but cy does wrap around him in a protective parenetical coil, cock tucked between sasuke's thighs in the world's most languid suggestion of intercrural.

but they do sleep, and when sasuke starts to stir it's in the small hours of the morning and his mouth feels like an ashtray and so he reaches groggily for a water bottle at the bedside with a contented little gust of exhalation. ）

Get some good rest, beloved?

（ this is said as he offers the waterbottle out for sasuke to take, brushing his hair back from his face as he does it. ）

[chokuto]

[Sleep slips away from him slowly, a veil pulled back from his eyes to reveal the dimly lit room, the shadow on the wall, the messy tangle of sheets over intertwined limbs. He feels Cy move more than he sees it — a slight shift on the mattress stirring him further awake, pressing a yawn down against the curve of Cy's throat.

It is always in these early moments, first waking, that he remembers how he used to be alone. That reality feels so far away now. He won't forget it, but here, he can suspend himself only in this moment — in the comfort of a warm body wrapped around him, the easily traded affection, the slow rise and fall of Cy's chest, the scratchy sound of his voice when he speaks, calls him beloved. He cannot imagine ever giving this up. The way Cy looks at him with those dark eyes is arresting, and he lifts his chin for Cy to tip the bottle to his mouth rather than take it himself. The love in him glows like a hot coal.

A few drops escape, speckling Cy's shoulder. He leans down and licks them away, then hooks his leg higher up where it lays over Cy's thighs with renewed awareness of their nudity, cock dragging half-hard against the man's hip.]

Yes. [Playfully, he bites gently at the patch of skin he's just licked clean.] Good morning.

[hallowing]

Mornin'.

（ one hand swans downward automatically, trailing along the muscular line of sasuke's thigh to his knee so he can hitch him closer with an inward tug. ）

I love this, you know. Waking up with you.

（ he presses a kiss against sasuke's hair, still mussed where he'd forgotten to take the elastic out but the tuft of hair it had captured much reduced by the normal movements of sleep. as he works it out carefully with his other hand: ）

I'll never stop being grateful for what you give me.

[chokuto]

[Enjoy his hair being a mess of flyaways. Receptive to those gentle fingers, however, Sasuke only sighs in relaxation — his own voice emerges, low and sleepy.]

I don't know if I'll ever be used to hearing you say those things. [It isn't a complaint, if the way he squirrels into their embrace suggests anything.] But that's fine. I don't want to take it for granted.

[It can surprise him, every time.]

I've slept alone my entire life. [With his knee held, Sasuke rolls himself on top of the man without sitting up — a sprawl of bodies aligned from head to toe, nuzzling the sparse hair on Cy's chest with his cheek.] So, I'm grateful as well.

[hallowing]

( there's a warm, sunny laugh, low with the last vestiges of sleep. )

Look at us being all sappy first thing in the morning, huh?

( he's not at sasuke's level of youthful exhuberance popping a semi with the first drawn breath of wakefulness, but the proximity and the sweetness of intimacy are doing it for him. his hips flex up in a lazy little nudge, and he wraps both arms around sasuke just for the sake of holding him. )

Wanna go out for breakfast?

[chokuto]

[There's a thoughtful hum, felt in vibration between where their bodies press together, and he deliberately shifts his weight to align their hips in that lazy, indulgent rub.]

I want to eat you for breakfast.

[Bad flirting in the early AM.]

[hallowing]

（ that gets a pleased little snort of sound from him before he kisses at the side of sasuke's head. gently, ）

Oh yeah? How do you want me?

[chokuto]

You're going to make me decide?

[He turns his head, laying his cheek against Cy's chest]

Hm. I want to ride you. [Nothing complicated, but that sleepy hunger is in his gaze — the desire to get Cy hard and just... sink over his cock, without waiting.] It'll help wake you up.

[hallowing]

Sounds like an insurmountable hardship to me.

（ said seriously, with a serious expression. for about three seconds, and then he's laughing again. ）

Get it? Hardship?

（ he's hilarious actually. but obligingly, he reaches between them, nudging sasuke up a bit so he can wrap one hand around both their cocks at once in a slow, lazy stroke. the friction is tantalizing, and his breath catches as the heads of their cocks drag against one another. ）

We goin' full meal deal here, or do you want me to fuck your thighs?

[chokuto]

Idiot.

[(affectionately) Don't make him put a pillow over your head for such a stupid joke.]

I changed my mind. [His voice is still breathy, mind working slowly through the shroud of sleepiness — but the first touch of Cy's hand between their bodies is a hot, shivering little jolt, bucking his hips into the squeeze of that hand to feel friction drag.] I want you to fuck my thighs. Can you do that while I'm on top of you?

[He doesn't have to ride Cy, he's just come to learn that it's one of his favorite positions.]

[hallowing]

（ don't mind him he's just busy jerking them both off with smooth little flicks of his wrist, careful not to pinch the delicate skin. he makes an affirmative noise, sort of a drawn out hmm-hm? and then: ）

It's a little trickier, but doable. We could do it like this, we'd just need to move you a bit higher. （ one thumb presses down against the head of sasuke's cock, casual possession. ） Or you could sit in my lap, or we could switch to spooning. Or you could lay on your back with your knees over my shoulders and I could fuck your thighs that way.

（ there's one long, slow stroke, and then he drops his hand to the base of sasuke's cock and squeezes there, just a little firm. ）

Dealer's choice.

[chokuto]

[His eyelashes flutter, drawn into competing wants — and distracted by Cy's hand between them, that silky drag of skin as his cock is worked by clever fingers, as he feels the swell of Cy's own length tucked in hot against him.]

All of it. Everything. [A drowsy, thoughtless mumble, until he breathes out through his nose and amends:] ... Someday, I want everything.

[It feels impossible to ever tire of this. He could go an eternity sharing Cy's space, kissing his mouth.]

Sit up. Let's do it in your lap.

[hallowing]

Oh, sweetheart. We've got time. There's nothing I wouldn't try with you.

（ he noses at him, kisses the corner of his mouth and then nudges him up so they can arrange themselves accordingly. he leans against the wall, pulling sasuke sideways into his lap, directing him to cross his legs at the knee for greater pressure between the thighs. rather than use lube, he just palms a smear of precome from their cocks and hips his hand between sasuke's thighs, seating himself there shortly thereafter. he keeps one hand on sasuke's cock, stroking him at an easy tempo. ）

I have some ideas for a few other things we can try, if you want to get feisty afterwards. （ they were separated for a few days, after all. it's not like they don't fuck enough to make up for lost time, but there's a persistent yearning for sasuke when he's not around, like a thirst that can't be slaked. ） I want to try some CBT — cock and ball torture, don't let the name scare you off — with you, if you think you'd be up for it.

（ yes, just casually talking about future plans while he fucks sasuke's thighs with slow, deliberate rolls of his hips? yeah. normal of him, actually. ）

[chokuto]

[Pliant to the familiar handling, he settles upright in Cy's lap with this changed position, legs crossed to narrow the space between his thighs into a tighter funnel. He likes looking down at the sight — Cy's cock squeezed between the grip of his thighs, wet with precome, the tip a dark and ruddy flush of color off-set by his own paler skin. Cy's strong hand on him, jerking him off with those slow and lazy pulls that make him squirm with impatient need, ridge of knuckles and long, clever fingers almost mesmerizing to watch.

When Cy speaks, he looks up, desire reflected in his face undisguised.]

I remember you talking about it before. [As if the word torture would frighten him away, rather than pique a darker interest.] I'm interested in trying. What would it involve?

[Sasuke tries to keep his attention on the conversation, but it drifts a little despite himself, thighs rubbing together to feel the hard line of Cy's dick between them.]

cy: 'torture tho' and sasuke just (PUPILS DILATE)

[hallowing]

（ he leans in close, nuzzling at sasuke's throat. the boy's weight is negligible to him, so he requires almost no conscious thought to buck upwards into him, cock an easy glide between tight thighs as precome glazes his skin. it feels good, though part of him wishes the position was flexible enough that he could lean down and close his mouth over sasuke's cock. he probably could, if he wasn't leaning against the wall — lessons learned for next time. ）

If I put you in a humbler, （ he'd talked about that before, and has since pointed one out in a sex shop, though he hasn't purchased one yet. ） it basically holds the balls away enough from the body, forces you to your hands and knees. From there, we could figure out what sort of sensation you'd prefer. There's devices that can clamp on to the top of the humbler that can just provide pressure — or we could try something like a riding crop for that kinda sting-y pain. Either way we'd start small. Maybe work it into a full spanking.

sorry he's not right in the head

[chokuto]

[The words are almost as intoxicating as the sensation, demonstrated by how quick he is to find Cy's mouth and kiss at it, licking to taste deeper inside, greedy for every point where their bodies can connect. Only after he's flushed and breathless does he relent, lips wet where they press against Cy's cheek, then his ear, then into the soft tuck of skin behind it.]

Then let's try it — the humbler. [As if he isn't already carried away by the idea alone — more urgency in the buck of hips, his own hand slipping down to cover Cy's, reshaping the grip of fingers to include his balls in a tighter squeeze.] I like the idea. I think that I would like the pain, too.

look they both aren't. it's wildly mutual of them.

[hallowing]

（ cy takes the cue easily, and takes it a step further — nudging sasuke to wrap his own hand around his cock, while cy envelops his balls in a gentle squeeze, compressing them with a knead of his fingers. ）

We'll find out.

（ he leans his cheek against sasuke's, and then murmurs: ）

Don't come. I wanna spend the day edging you. Think you can do that for me?

（ he's explained to sasuke in the past that if he comes by mistake it's not a big deal — that cy likes it both ways. the discipline of obeying him to a fault, and the idea of having driven the boy so far he can't help himself. perhaps that's why the question is soft, spoken as he nuzzles at him, catlike. ）

🥺 when the chemistry hits

[chokuto]

[It's almost cruel — that squeeze sending a throb of pleasure through him on the very edge of dull discomfort, a line delicately and deliberately straddled. While he's used to the sensitive places of his body, this one feels new and unplumbed; he's not accustomed to how tender it feels having his balls kneaded, vulnerability set in the center of Cy's warm palm, enough that his heels drag on the sheets as if he's just repressed a thrash.]

Unfair. [Huffed out, barely audible — but certainly not a refusal.] ... I'll do it for you.

[Or he'll try, as much as he's able. The way his thighs clamp together is less for Cy's dick wedged between them than it is his own attempt to tamp down on the building urgency in the pit of his belly.]

Is there... something that can help prevent it?

[hallowing]

Yeah. There's a couple things you can do.

（ he lets the touch ease to a gentle cradle, thumb working over tender flesh. ）

There's numbing gels and creams that people use to reduce sensation. They help, but unless you're keen on the idea I'd rather not. I want you to feel it. Cock rings can make you last longer, a chastity cage can make people feel desperate and on edge but doesn't let them get fully hard because of the constriction. It depends on what you want to feel.

（ he nudges against sasuke's temple, kissing his cheek. ）

I think you'd like chastity cages, but you're still new enough to doing anything sexual that I'd be leery of doing anything that makes arousal feel like a punishment just yet. You've come a long way, but I don't want to put you in a position where you feel like what I'm after is not letting you come at all, and not just the fact that I like controlling you that way. What do you think?

[chokuto]

I want to feel it too.

[This is agreed without hesitation, breath snagging a bit on the words as he feels the pressure of that grasp ease, smoothing sensitive nerve-ends.

Cy's guidance is helpful — he soaks it in, as always, even with his attention split down the middle.]

You're probably right. [Given his own issues up to this point around pleasuring himself, he understands why Cy is being careful.] So, we could try the ring. It may not prevent an orgasm, but at least it might help me resist a little longer.

[hallowing]

Okay.

（ he leaves his balls alone for now — plenty of time for that now they've decided on what their after-breakfast activity can be — and just braces his hand overtop sasuke's on his cock as he guides the boy to stroke himself gently. another thrust of his cock breaches the tight channel of sasuke's thighs, feeling almost like relief after the constriction. it does not, notably, stop him from dragging his hips downward again, rutting against him unhurried and sensual. ）

And it's okay if you come early, too. （ a bit of an apologetic little butt of his head. apologetic only because he knows he's said this before — but he hopes that sasuke will take it as care rather than nagging. ） You know I like it.

[chokuto]

I know.

[Under the temperance of Cy's hand, he doesn't touch himself too roughly — led in slow, gentled strokes that draw out the pleasure until he's tensed with it, crossing his knees tighter to restrict the gap between his thighs. He likes watching Cy's cock slide between them, near enough to brush against their joined knuckles.]

And I like doing what you tell me to do, so... I'll try.

[He tips his chin, seeking a kiss.]

But I want to make you come, at least. All over my thighs.

[hallowing]

Yeah, that's not gonna be a challenge.

（ it's said with a breathless huff of laughter, as he leans into sasuke more heavily, letting him take his weight. ）

Wanna try talking me through it?

（ a little bit of give and take. ）

cw: more pregnancy kink 🤡

[chokuto]

[He makes a thoughtful sound, enjoying the negligible burden of Cy's weight in that lean for the warmth it shares between them, pressing his mouth to Cy's chin, dragging lips across roughened stubble in tactile contact. He considers what to say. In the intervening weeks, he's tried boldness — but in those cases, he often had the resort's influence clearing away any uncertainty. Not like this, clear-minded except for the fog of sleep slowly beginning to recede.]

I like feeling your body against me. [A shift, rubbing his thighs together just to feel where the muscular flesh has dented in the squeeze of that tight furrow.] I like how hot your cock feels. It's hotter than the rest of you, even though you're warm everywhere, right here, it's... [To demonstrate, he frees his right hand to cup over the head of Cy's cock where it slips in a messy glaze. He rubs over the tip in open-palmed strokes, thumb edging in at the slit and gathering the fresh, slippery strings of precome to smear into his own thighs like obscene artwork.] I could stay this way for hours if you wanted me to, just letting you use my thighs.

[He doesn't look at Cy's face as he speaks — some of his own bravery requires a slip into that meditative state of thought, laying his cheek against the round curve of Cy's shoulder. His breath is a whisper on skin.]

I want to wake up with you in our bed for the rest of my life. So I can roll over, put my mouth on you first until you're hard on my tongue, until I can't breathe, and then I'll sit on your cock — I want that, every day. Every morning. [He rolls his hips, simulating that act of penetration as he drags the clench of his thighs against Cy's dick.] And... I want to have your children.

[He tilts his head, mouth ticklish at Cy's ear.]

I want you to fill me up. Every morning, until it takes, until you've made me pregnant. [Now his hand moves, catching one of Cy's to place it over his belly in a deliberate caress. A mirror of the fantasy Cy had painted, in the library.] I want you to put your child inside of me. My body will change. My stomach will swell, my breasts will get heavy. But I know you'll take care of me like that.